Feeling Guilty for Being Selfish (1 Viewer)

[Hahahah...ha]

Hello everyone,

This is my first term of the HSC course and for some reason, whenever someone indirectly asks what tutoring I go to, I don't want to tell them just because of the possibility that they might end up with a higher rank... Is this unfair of me? It's just that I had to work really hard to get the same marks as the "bright" kids and people see that my hard work paid off so they want to get on board with what I'm doing. However that just ends up making me feel annoyed (don't know if that's the right feeling), because it took so much time for me to learn how to learn and do better, my parents have played no role in my education so all of it was on me and I feel like giving away any tips is like giving away my hard work for free. Is this wrong? Should I be willing to give all the advice that I have even when that could lead to a worse rank? Am I that only one who thought/is thinking this way?

I usually give a lot of advice to many people but if helping someone impacts my opportunities then I feel unwilling to help.

Kind Regards!

 

[jimmysmith560]

It is up to you to reveal whether you use a tutoring service, and if so, which one. However, you must be aware of the fact that the most effective way of ensuring optimal results is to do your best. Thinking/focusing on the potential of your peers is not a good approach and can have unwanted repercussions on your determination and diligence with respect to your studies. You are right to describe having a high rank as a necessity if you wish to maximise your chances of achieving a favourable Assessment Mark because of the fact that this part of the HSC course (i.e. the period in which you complete your school-based assessment tasks/exams) is highly dependent on competition and individualism. Being mindful of this, you should follow your heart and intuition, which can lead to 2 possible outcomes:

1. Provide information regarding the tutoring service that you use to your peers, allowing you to maintain your seemingly helpful character, with little to no consideration of the supposed consequences that you described.
2. Refuse to provide information regarding the tutoring service that you use to your peers, which would constitute a contradiction/inconsistency with your helpful character, although it would demonstrate a highly competitive student that is unwilling to put themselves at a (seemingly that is) disadvantage.

I hope this helps!

 

[uniqueusername1]

Hello everyone,

This is my first term of the HSC course and for some reason, whenever someone indirectly asks what tutoring I go to, I don't want to tell them just because of the possibility that they might end up with a higher rank... Is this unfair of me? It's just that I had to work really hard to get the same marks as the "bright" kids and people see that my hard work paid off so they want to get on board with what I'm doing. However that just ends up making me feel annoyed (don't know if that's the right feeling), because it took so much time for me to learn how to learn and do better, my parents have played no role in my education so all of it was on me and I feel like giving away any tips is like giving away my hard work for free. Is this wrong? Should I be willing to give all the advice that I have even when that could lead to a worse rank? Am I that only one who thought/is thinking this way?

I usually give a lot of advice to many people but if helping someone impacts my opportunities then I feel unwilling to help.

Kind Regards!

selective kid problems

 

[idkkdi]

Hello everyone,

This is my first term of the HSC course and for some reason, whenever someone indirectly asks what tutoring I go to, I don't want to tell them just because of the possibility that they might end up with a higher rank... Is this unfair of me? It's just that I had to work really hard to get the same marks as the "bright" kids and people see that my hard work paid off so they want to get on board with what I'm doing. However that just ends up making me feel annoyed (don't know if that's the right feeling), because it took so much time for me to learn how to learn and do better, my parents have played no role in my education so all of it was on me and I feel like giving away any tips is like giving away my hard work for free. Is this wrong? Should I be willing to give all the advice that I have even when that could lead to a worse rank? Am I that only one who thought/is thinking this way?

I usually give a lot of advice to many people but if helping someone impacts my opportunities then I feel unwilling to help.

Kind Regards!

wrong mentality.

the alpha mentality is,
Me helping you means I am better. Even if I help you, I am better.

If you're scared of helping, you should be questioning yourself.
Why are you so insecure?
Is it because you are just no good enough?

 

[iwanttodogoodinschool]

nah bro it's totally normal, pre sure everyone felt like that until we got to the HSC.

personally, I just stayed quiet about everything the whole year. i.e. my accomplishments, goals, and whatnot.

pretty good cuz there was less pressure regarding expectations and no one would ask me for help.

 

[iwanttodogoodinschool]

i say just focus on urself.

let others find their own tutoring and figure it out on their own

 

[idkkdi]

i say just focus on urself.

let others find their own tutoring and figure it out on their own

disagree.
if they ask for help, help lol.

 

[iwanttodogoodinschool]

disagree.
if they ask for help, help lol.

or that

ahahah honestly if ur feeling guilty, then maybe yeah just help

 

[kevindebruyne]

IMO its not like asking you to go out of your way to help others.

But if someone asks, definitely help. It'll benefit you in the long run anyway

 

[hellohowslife]

lol

 

[icycledough]

To be honest, telling other students about a specific tutoring centre you go to won't give them an advantage over you directly. Remember that 2 students can go to the same tutoring centre but can have completely different results; success really comes down to work ethic and consistency; tutoring and other external factors don't play that much of a significant role.

 

[Hahahah...ha]

wrong mentality.

the alpha mentality is,
Me helping you means I am better. Even if I help you, I am better.

If you're scared of helping, you should be questioning yourself.
Why are you so insecure?
Is it because you are not just good enough?

I guess I am slightly insecure but its mainly because I believe that most people can do better than me. Its true that I could be considered more knowledgeable about a topic if someone asks me for help. However, over the years whenever I've assisted people with school content, I've realised that everyone has a lot of potential. I'm scared that although I may be "smarter" than them now, one day I'll be left behind. As I've mentioned before though, I don't mind helping people in their lives but I just don't want them to surpass me afterall I don't consider them as my pupils but my rivals who are aiming for the same ATAR. See we could say that I should only focus on myself, however, how can I only concentrate on myself when my rank is highlighted whenever I recieve marks back?

 

[Hahahah...ha]

nah bro it's totally normal, pre sure everyone felt like that until we got to the HSC.

personally, I just stayed quiet about everything the whole year. i.e. my accomplishments, goals, and whatnot.

pretty good cuz there was less pressure regarding expectations and no one would ask me for help.

That's what I do but because my previous "achievements" have circulated all around the school most people don't care that I don't tell them my marks and ranks, they just think I did well. Which is sad because I'm genuinely not doing so well right now. That adds to the feeling of "if I share the already limited knowledge I have to others, they'll have more than me."

 

[Jojofelyx]

That's what I do but because my previous "achievements" have circulated all around the school most people don't care that I don't tell them my marks and ranks, they just think I did well. Which is sad because I'm genuinely not doing so well right now. That adds to the feeling of "if I share the already limited knowledge I have to others, they'll have more than me."

You can always be that kid who says they indeed are trash, but manages to achieve highly
Or, help them, say you do indeed rank above them in the end. If they were, as you say, brighter than you but because they didnt have accecss to the things you did they didnt fulfil their potential and so they will be worse by the time hsc comes around. You all finish your exams and get results back. If this were the case then either 1. you stay 1st externally too with no benefit or 2. they all do better than you externally and so your rank did end up helping you.
The only problem that i see with point 2. is that if you were to help them out earlier they couldve been better off, a higher rank and so potentially getting better results in the hsc, however because you were (in your theory ranked below them), you dont get to reap the rewards of you trying to claw out 1st rank, but i really dont think that should be an issue. Heres why: if they were brighter and your help made them improve, im sure their improvement would trickle down onto you as well be it through the form of them helping you, environment becoming more competitive, group study being more productive, alongside a whole slew of things. Dont even get me started on the benefits of the whole cohort doing better externally, on the moderation of internals, because tldr it really will help you.
Theres no why wonder at a school like ruse, even if they go tooth and nail for 1st, the difference in marks between 1st and 50th would be like 100/100 vs 97/100 lol

I kinda realised this the hard way, i was pretty much in your position, and scrapped for my ranks, and then tried to get everyone around me to study after trials, only thing is, they just didnt have the foundation and like drive that couldve been embedded if they had the resources that i did before. I honestly feel like it wouldve been really helpful not only to me but them as well, if i'd shared earlier. But oh well, you live and you learn, thats just my 2 cents tho. HSC is more like school vs school than it is u vs me

 

[dasfas]

You sound pretty insecure. This sort of cutthroat mentality isn't going to let you get very far in the world - school, uni or the workplace. Tbh everyone will hate your guts for it.

If you help someone, both of you benefit. They benefit because they now understand it better, you benefit because you took the time to synthesise the information down so that they can understand it (Feynman technique, search it up). Plus they'll be thankful about it.

Sure, you can tell people you don't like to get lost, but for random people in your year/friends, definitely give them a hand.

 

[idkkdi]

I guess I am slightly insecure but its mainly because I believe that most people can do better than me. Its true that I could be considered more knowledgeable about a topic if someone asks me for help. However, over the years whenever I've assisted people with school content, I've realised that everyone has a lot of potential. I'm scared that although I may be "smarter" than them now, one day I'll be left behind. As I've mentioned before though, I don't mind helping people in their lives but I just don't want them to surpass me afterall I don't consider them as my pupils but my rivals who are aiming for the same ATAR. See we could say that I should only focus on myself, however, how can I only concentrate on myself when my rank is highlighted whenever I recieve marks back?

tough spot. there's always going to be people better than you.

not helping might be good for your ranks, but in the long term it's normally not a sustainable option.

and ye, as jojo said, if you help people and in the end they score higher externally than you, it's a good thing. I'm assuming if you help them and they score higher internally, they should be scoring higher externally as well.

 

[dasfas]

Ultimately though, I think it's good that you're aware that you may a bit of an asshole, and are trying to improve. Yes the HSC is hard, yes you are against your peers for internals, but do you seriously think you telling them where you go, or giving them a hand with homework is going to make your ATAR tank?

The answer is no.

 

[Jordi El Nino Polla]

Honestly depends on the context, it's hard to judge because even your school culture and work ethic matters on this.

If you go to the type of school where someone gives up for the externals for the HSC because they got into early entry (Public schools smh) then don't help anyone, I'd take a step further and not talk to anyone during the whole year. Be selfish and try to get the best ranks you can because no one will be there to boost you up.

If you go to a school where people are going to try no matter what and this includes until the very end of HSC I wouldn't mind sharing knowledge around because then you've got edge for your internals. If your cohort perform well externally then they can also benefit your mark, so being selfish in this case isn't necessarily 'wrong' but you are limiting yourself since your cohort has the potential to assist your marks.

 

[Hahahah...ha]

Okay, thank you for everyone's contribution! Just knowing that helping others out is not a bad thing for me is a huge help because I like seeing people grow, its fine even if they outrank me but I just wanted to make sure that my hard work is rewarded. Again, this mentality might be a little selfish but doesn't everyone get demotivated to do something "moral" if they are going to face negative consequences from that action? I'll help if they ask and then I'll just go back to doing my best!

 

[dannyo1]

I'm not gonna lie... I think that this mentality is one that could be quite negative going forward. As jimmy quite eloquently put it -

Thinking/focusing on the potential of your peers is not a good approach and can have unwanted repercussions on your determination and diligence with respect to your studies.

and this is a message I would echo. When it comes to tutoring - each student gets out what they put in. I was fortunate enough to be dating someone who recommended me an excellent English tutor - yet the only reason I went well in English is because I actually put in the effort to make the most of that opportunity, and even though we're not together anymore I'm still very thankful to that girl for giving me that opportunity to do better in English.

And I think that's the crux of the issue - you are somewhat missing the forest for the trees. Yes, whilst gatekeeping a tutoring service may help with your ranks (IN NO WAY GUARANTEED) you are sacrificing a lot of goodwill that can be fostered amongst your peers and are promoting a dangerously insular, individualistic worldview which is more a result of your own insecurities than any advantage your peers might receive.

In my school, we all helped each other. Including in internals. If everyone is doing their best, then a representative rank order is still discernable - the bar is just raised higher.

I'm sorry if I come across as harsh, I assure you that I'm not trying to be a dickhead nor am I being mean - just saying that what you're describing here has a lot more to do with you than with any advantage your peers might possibly receive.