Fitting In (2 Viewers)

[whatusername?]

I have a question to all those who are in or finishing uni. Are people different there? Im in highschool now, and i am a loser. i know there are people in the same position as me in every year- im the kid who "fits in" with the "popular group", but doesnt fit in well enough, so i get picked on by everybody. Im not just a tag along in the "popular group", people do kind of like me there, but i dont quite fit in. In primary school i had friends but when i went to highschool, i must have changed and i lost those friends too. In the same way that people who do fit in in primary school might not in highschool, do people who dont fit in in highschool fit in in uni?

 

[chicky_pie]

I'm sure everyone fits in whether it's school, uni, college, work place, just be yourself, do not, i repeat, do NOT be a quiet person.

 

[tanjin]

Don't be afraid to talk to people and you'll be fine.

 

[Tulipa]

The good thing is that normally uni is a fresh start so take advantage of that. Be yourself and like tanjin said, don't be afraid to talk to people. I found that there were a lot of different kinds of people and after high school the whole idea of cliques pretty much vanishes.

 

[all.time.fiend]

The good thing is that normally uni is a fresh start so take advantage of that. Be yourself and like tanjin said, don't be afraid to talk to people. I found that there were a lot of different kinds of people and after high school the whole idea of cliques pretty much vanishes.

true, because pretty much everyone in your course has at least one common interest (ie. your course)

 

[whatusername?]

do u know of any1 who was in the same position as me, but life got better for them in uni? or are you all ppl who have always had friends and are just taking pity on me and saying life will get better? ( im not being a dick, its just i want to know if there really is hope)

 

[tanjin]

do u know of any1 who was in the same position as me, but life got better for them in uni? or are you all ppl who have always had friends and are just taking pity on me and saying life will get better? ( im not being a dick, its just i want to know if there really is hope)

The more you worry about this, the harder it will be for you to 'fit in'. Remember that at the start of uni, almost everyone feels a little anxious. Talk to people, be friendly and approachable. That's all you need.

 

[ubernuton]

your mistact is trying to fit in i did that for most of primary school and failed misserable. be your self it doesn't always start out well but people get used to u and u can get real friend instead of just being the guy cling on the edge of what u will soon realise is the stupidest group of poeple your've ever met

 

[whatusername?]

your mistact is trying to fit in i did that for most of primary school and failed misserable. be your self it doesn't always start out well but people get used to u and u can get real friend instead of just being the guy cling on the edge of what u will soon realise is the stupidest group of poeple your've ever met

lol actually my main problem is not trying to fit in. i was myself wen i started highschool, and i kindof got accepted into the popular group, but not really (those in my position know wat i mean) so ive given up trying to fit in or be myself at my highschool- lol tanjin's probly right, i might carry that quietness into uni. but i really want to know if there was anybody like me who can tell me how their life went in uni

 

[fernando]

i don't talk to anyone at uni jus cause' i can't be bothered. but when i do talk to people i try to turn up my talkyness even though generally i'm a quiet person.

anyway..you will never make freinds if you remain quiet in uni. It's the only way to socialise and make freinds.. you can't make freinds through silence.

 

[DeathB4Life]

it really is a lot easier to meet new people at uni. the majority of people there are pretty laid back and always up for a chat. infact, the students are uni are probably the easiest people to get along with.

you do have to make a bit of an effort though, since in high school you were kind of stuck with a group of people and you naturally develop your group of friends, while at uni you have to make sure you get their number, meet up after class if theyre free, arrange times to hang out etc.

i was pretty shy during school and it did take me a while to really get into the feel of uni but eventually i just realised that being forward, friendly and random enough to start up conversations is a lot more fun than waiting for someone else to introduce themselves to you.

 

[Tulipa]

do u know of any1 who was in the same position as me, but life got better for them in uni? or are you all ppl who have always had friends and are just taking pity on me and saying life will get better? ( im not being a dick, its just i want to know if there really is hope)

I was in similar position. High school was hell for me and uni has been much better.

You do need to make more of an effort but for me at least it was worth it in the end.

 

[Tiffanys]

Maybe you care a little too much for fitting in? After all what someone thinks is 'fitting in' is mostly subjective.

 

[Tulipa]

lol wat? thats not the impression that i get from you at all.

How so?

 

[tlodg]

I have a question to all those who are in or finishing uni. Are people different there? Im in highschool now, and i am a loser. i know there are people in the same position as me in every year- im the kid who "fits in" with the "popular group", but doesnt fit in well enough, so i get picked on by everybody. Im not just a tag along in the "popular group", people do kind of like me there, but i dont quite fit in. In primary school i had friends but when i went to highschool, i must have changed and i lost those friends too. In the same way that people who do fit in in primary school might not in highschool, do people who dont fit in in highschool fit in in uni?

Firstly, you are not a loser, because losers won't admit they are!

Secondly, maybe the reason is that you care too much and they can see that you care. When people know that you are sensitive to what they are doing, they are often even more aggravated to "bully" you even more.

Thirdly, sometimes having friends is simply a matter of fate. But that doesn't mean you should just lay there and expect other people to come to you, saying "oh, can I be your friend?" You probably don't ask people out much..not the initative type. Maybe you can ask people out first, and u'd be surprised that, though not everyone would "click" with your personality, there may be someone there who likes hanging out with you. Might not be someone who has a lot in common with you (and no, it doesn't require 'lots in common' for two to become close friends), but at least you'd know that there could be acceptance, warmth, and company when you reach out are open to differences. If you don't quite fit in with the "popular group", then let it be. You don't have to try too hard to fit in with the group. It's not your "home" of happiness.

 

[Tulipa]

You seem pretty friendly and well adjusted and you are quite physically attractive. Most people that don't fit in tend to be deficient in these areas, so I'm wondering why you wouldn't have "fit in"?

I went to an all girls private Catholic school on the North Shore.

If you're not a blond clone or haven't been friends since kindergarten, it's a tough slog. I wasn't an airhead or 100% focused on learning and there wasn't really a middle ground. The 'airheads' also decided that if you were somewhere in the middle, life was meant to be hell for you. So I got picked on a lot.

It's the main reason I'm such a bitch IRL

 

[Forbidden.]

The good thing is that normally uni is a fresh start so take advantage of that. Be yourself and like tanjin said, don't be afraid to talk to people. I found that there were a lot of different kinds of people and after high school the whole idea of cliques pretty much vanishes.

The more you worry about this, the harder it will be for you to 'fit in'. Remember that at the start of uni, almost everyone feels a little anxious. Talk to people, be friendly and approachable. That's all you need.

true, because pretty much everyone in your course has at least one common interest (ie. your course)

...

anyway..you will never make freinds if you remain quiet in uni. It's the only way to socialise and make freinds.. you can't make freinds through silence.

.

 

[FugitiveGirl]

do u know of any1 who was in the same position as me, but life got better for them in uni? or are you all ppl who have always had friends and are just taking pity on me and saying life will get better? ( im not being a dick, its just i want to know if there really is hope)

I think I know what you mean, when I was in year 7 I was with the popular group but I found out they just hung around me to pick on me. I decided that having no friends > having crappy friends. Here I am today Now I don't really belong to any 'clique', I just know lots of people from different cliques and I agree to the person that said don't worry about fitting in. And be friendly, don't be discouraged by rejection.

 

[sowhat]

I have a question to all those who are in or finishing uni. Are people different there? Im in highschool now, and i am a loser. i know there are people in the same position as me in every year- im the kid who "fits in" with the "popular group", but doesnt fit in well enough, so i get picked on by everybody. Im not just a tag along in the "popular group", people do kind of like me there, but i dont quite fit in. In primary school i had friends but when i went to highschool, i must have changed and i lost those friends too. In the same way that people who do fit in in primary school might not in highschool, do people who dont fit in in highschool fit in in uni?

if your bold enough to make a new start for urself, eveything changes. because you've got a new chance to create an entirely new impression - no one has judged you yet. if your still stuck in the same situaion by midyear, its because you did wat you did during high school.

take the initiative, and become a bit more daring and you'll reap the rewards. do it now or you will miss your opportunity. i used to be in your situation, but its totally different for me now. so there is hope!

 

[jannny]

Anyone get the feeling that you dont want to open up because you think that the person might find you boring?