friend thinks i want more (1 Viewer)

[dastonecutters]

hey i invited a girl to my formal this year and she sed no... i think she thought i meant as a date but i didnt(there were issues in the pass with that)... i only wanted to go as a friend... how do i tell her that i wanted to go as a friend not as like a 'going out' relationship with out sounding desperate...

i hope that made sense

and i wasnt really sure what to call the thread

any advice would be great

 

[super katie]

well when i asked the guy im taking i told him he was like my brother which kinda made it clear i didnt want anything more than just friends. i dont understand why it would sound desperate if you just asked her and said straight out you just want to go as friends?

 

[dastonecutters]

desperate cause like she might think i couldnt get to go with her as more than friends so ill change my story... like iono... im not sure anymore how much of a friend she thinks i am... like we could speak on the phone for hours now we cant... damn i stuffed things up wit her

 

[Jago]

Ohnoes i have girl problems, i think i shall make a thread about it on the boredofstudies forums instead of talking to her and sort the problem out! It's really not that hard.

 

[Jago]

grabs your balls* and just talk to her honestly.




* no, don't do it literally.

 

[dastonecutters]

jago if u read what i wrote... i dont know what to say... like it will jus be awkward and how about u keep the sarcasim to ur self it really doesnt become u

 

[Jago]

would you rather one moment of awkwardness or an entire lifetime? You don't know what to say? how about this:

i think you thought i meant as a date but i didnt... i only wanted to go as a friend... i only wanted to go as a friend not as like a 'going out' relationship, im not trying to be desperate. No really, if you don't believe me check out the BoS forums.

Okay you don't really need the last bit but you know what i mean. If she can't handle that, well, f*** that, who needs b****es like that?

 

[Jago]

in retrospect, she probably has her eyes on someone who she fancies and wants to go with him. You lose.

 

[dark`secrets]

just tell her honestly that it was nothing romantic just asking her as a friend.
i doubt she'd feel offended.
besides doesnt it feel awkward now? because she thinks that you like her?
by talking abt it would help and clear the tension up.
well good luck

 

[= Jennifer =]

maybe you could break it casually to her and say something like "hey you know when i asked you to my formal, you knew that i was asking you as a friend and nothing more, right?" something like that, the idea of talking to her and clearing up this situation is needed...goodluck

 

[AsyLum]

ask another girl.

 

[thejosiekiller]

its always an awkard situation asking a friend to a formal- im pretty much in the same position, but after reading your post ill postphone the whole asking a friend out thing.

who needs that??

 

[super katie]

its always an awkard situation asking a friend to a formal- im pretty much in the same position, but after reading your post ill postphone the whole asking a friend out thing.

who needs that??

seriously dont do that, its heaps of fun going with a friend, you just have to make it crystal clear from the beginning that that is all you want, its really not that hard

 

[AsyLum]

its always an awkard situation asking a friend to a formal- im pretty much in the same position, but after reading your post ill postphone the whole asking a friend out thing.

who needs that??

phwoa! its a great time going with a friend, besides, the moment, the situation could do something you never expected

 

[iloves2party]

you just need to corner her some how (not necessarily literally) and talk it out with her..explain what you meant and talk about it with her.....talking it out really helps get things going normal again

 

[iloves2party]

oooh and i also agree with the ur like a sis to me thing ..iono if she is or not...that might freak her out though ...depending on the depth of your friendship ...just tell her look i dont like you as more than a friend i just thought it might be fun if you came 2 my formal and could meet some of my other friends and just hang out ....or something like that

 

[Ziff]

Tell her she's paying for her ticket - that'll immediately inform her that it's not a date (or that you're Jewish, therefore circumsized and she won't care if it's because of the "issues" ).

In a more pragmatic move, you could have quite simply avoided the situation by making it absolutely clear before asking her to the formal over a number of weeks that you're not interested in "tupping the beast with two backs" if you know what I mean eh eh?

It's really quite simple - talk about other girls to her/infront of her or do something but don't make it seem like you're trying to sleaze your way onto her or something!

P.S. Telling people that they're like some sort of relative in relation to you - bad move. Explicitly going ahead and saying "you're like a brother/sister/anyotherfucker" is a bit creepy no? You need more tact e.g. in a normal conversation inform them that when they do something they have similar traits to one of these siblings/relatives.

Softly, softly.

 

[thejosiekiller]

i dont know about that- still if something were to happen its useless anyways because as friends everyhting is cool- but we're different shes a raver, im a rocker!!!! it doesnt get anymore diverse! lol

plus shes moving back to nz after the hsc finishes- whats the point of putting urself in a situation where u might get attached and let down?

 

[Ranger Stacie]

I asked some guy to go to my formal with me, cos my boyfriend lived to far away, and I just told him when I asked him that it was just as friends
its not hard

 

[truly-in-bliss]

dont think it's awkard.... pplz tend to not do things because its awkard or embarrasing... but u realli should just set aside and get it out in the open... evyerhting is more awkard if eveyrhting is not out in the open.