• Congratulations to the Class of 2024 on your results!
    Let us know how you went here
    Got a question about your uni preferences? Ask us here

frontline essay - feedback wanted (1 Viewer)

moo_moo_molly

Yo mumma
Joined
Feb 22, 2005
Messages
75
Location
With yo momma
Gender
Female
HSC
2006
What do you reckon??? the question was based around the quote "Whoever holds the power tries to own the truth"

Constructive criticism is good :)
 

denise_

So fetch!
Joined
Jan 6, 2005
Messages
456
Gender
Female
HSC
2006
just out of curiosity, how many episodes did you have to mention? usually we mention 2 or 3 just to be safe.
 

Eagles

ROAR~!
Joined
May 5, 2004
Messages
989
Location
Reality
Gender
Male
HSC
2004
Hi there,

I didn't have time to read through all of it. Just the 1st two paragraphs.

DISCLAIMER: I have not done english for over a year now. The below is a personal opionion if memories serves me correct.

You've made some good points, but the thoughts are everywhere. I'd suggest trying to group them into paragraphs. Try to avoid conversional style language ("and so"), try using 'thus" to sound more intelligent when writing an essay. Also attempt to connect and flow your sentences. Also, "people" is not an exam friendly word.

Here's what you have:

The truth is an ambiguous concept. It is defined as being conformity to fact or actuality. In its purest form it is sincerity and integrity. However, while someone may present their version of the truth with what they believe to be complete integrity, it may be a different perception of the truth to another person and so often the truth is lost as different versions of the truth are unfolded. Different perceptions are often the result of self interest and for this reason, truth is often a servant to money – truth is a commodity often owned, bought, sold, and auctioned – it is a market which is habitually capitalised on. Often due to its nature as a commodity, wealthy people frequently become powerful in controlling the way the truth is delivered and so “Whoever holds the power tries to own the truth”. Our lives are saturated by the media which makes truths, and the different perception of truth, a powerful entity which is almost always controlled by powerful people.

Frontline is a satirical TV series that was presented on the ABC and was directed by Rob Sitch, Santo Cilauro, Tom Gleisner and Jane Kennedy. Frontline shows the inner workings of a current affairs show named Frontline and how the raw product is manipulated to show a particular version of the truth. The show confronts many issues which aren’t necessarily even considered by the typical audience of a current affairs show. One big issue which is shown in frontline is that “Whoever holds the power tried to own the truth” This view is exhibited in most of the episodes.


-------------

Here's what i'd recommend:
“Truth” is an ambiguous concept; in its purest form it represents sincerity, integrity, and is defined as being conformity to fact or actuality. Different representation of "truths" are often the result of self interest, for this reason, truth is often a reduced to commodity - bought, sold, and auctioned at a market which is habitually capitalised by self motivated individuals. Often due to its availibility as a commodity, people in powerful positions often abuse the “truth” that is shown. ”Whoever holds the power tries to own the truth”.In 2006, our lives are saturated by the media which represents different versions of truths, owned by powerful entitieswhich are almost always controlled by self motivated individuals.

(note, u can say self interest is money, but you'd have to define that.)

Frontline, directed by Rob Stich et al, is a satirical TV series which mocks the inner workings of a current affairs show named “Frontline”. It depicts how people in positions of power manipulates a raw item to represent their own visions of 'truth". Frontline highlights issues such as “people in power tries to own the truth” which are rarely considered by the typical audience of current affairs. This is particularly exhibited/illustrated in the episodes x, x, and x.

Feel free to refer to my sig for my paragraphs on this module.
 

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 1)

Top