Funny Exam Answers (1 Viewer)

kewlu

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Re: funny things to write in tests...

chocolate_lover said:
Haha, I knew I had a whole heap of them hidden somewhere deep in my Email Inbox. :eek:
Actually, there is one I have that isn't on here yet.

 

jemsta

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Re: funny things to write in tests...

hahaha gold <3
 

xclusv2bhung

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Re: funny things to write in tests...

hahaha love the ninja turtles one + the teacher's comment ! [ at least we know he/she has a sense of humour :p ]
 

champo14

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Re: funny things to write in tests...

resurrection:

 

ssejamafone

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Lol. Well, i haven't read through this entire thread (my internet is stopping me from doing that >_>), so i hope that this hasn't been posted before:

Geography

Q: name the four seasons.

A: salt, pepper, mustard & vinegar

Q: explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A: flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q: How is dew formed?

A: the sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q: what is a planet?

A: a body of earth surrounded by sky

Q: what causes the tides in seas and ocean?

A: the tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon because there is no water on the moon. Nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight

Sociology

Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist upon?

A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed

Q: in a democratic society, how important are elections?

A: very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q: what are steroids?

A: things for keeping carpets still on stairs

Biology

Q: what happens to you body as you age?

A: when you get old so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q: what happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

A: he says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q: what is artificial insemination?

A: when the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q: how can you delay milk turning sour?

A: keep it in the cow

Q: how are the main parts of the body categorised (eg. abdomen)?

A: the body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax, the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart & lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O & U.

Q: what is the fibula?

A: a small lie

Q: give the meaning of the term "Caesarean section".

A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q: what is a seizure?

A: a Roman emperor

Q: what is a terminal illness?

A: when you are sick at the airport

Q: give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?

A: mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

English

Q: use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.

A: hands that judicious can be soft as your face with mild green, fairy liquid

If these have been posted before, then, lol, sorry. :eek:
 

Eddie n

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a teacher said he had to mark an economics essay which had 3 pages on, going to schoolies and gettin drunk off their heads.

i think they made it relate to economics :p
 
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Forbidden.

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1. The future of "I give" is "I take."
2. The parts of speech are lungs and air.
3. The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.
4. A census taker is man who goes from house to house increasing the population.
5. Water is composed of two gins. Oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
6. Define H2O and CO2. H2O is hot water and CO2 is cold water.
7. A virgin forest is a forest where the hand of man has never set foot.
8. The general direction of the Alps is straight up.
9. A city purifies its water supply by filtering the water then forcing it through an aviator.
10. Most of the houses in France are made of plaster of Paris.
11. The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 opossums.
12. The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.
13. We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because we get our silk from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives more silk.
14. One of the main causes of dust is janitors.
15. A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities.
16. One by -product of raising cattle is calves.
17. To prevent head colds, use an agonizer to spray into the nose until it drips into the throat.
18. The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
19. The climate is hottest next to the Creator.
20. Oliver Cromwell had a large red nose, but under it were deeply religious feelings
21. The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.
22. Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.
23. The blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.
24. In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.
25. Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.
26. In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah.
27. A person should take a bath once in the summer, not so often in the winter.
 

risole91

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this thread is great!
my mate from school, continuosly shows everyone the elephant one
LMAO
 
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i hope this hasnt been asked before, but, where do people obtain these funny answers from? like with the elephant and the find x one etc...
they could just be fake, albeit they are very funny.
 

Crizzy

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I found these 2 essays on the net. I dont know if they're real or not but its funny.




________




lol
 

pulsado

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This is apparently from an engineering exam

Question: What is a turbine?

Student Answer: Something muslims wear on their head
 

Foxodi

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ROFL
It takes alot to make me laugh, but this thread has cracked me up for 30mins straight now :) Love ya all.
 

ibewatto

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this thread is so fucking great kudos to all involved.

In a yearly IST essay it asked to explain the different parts of a computer, my friend decided to explain the technical differences between steve vai and joe satriani (guitarists)

My mate was asked (something along the lines of) to explain how a secretary could copy all of her bosses notes without wasting time as she didnt want to do it by her self (or somethin like that) and he said he would fire the sluts ass for being an incompetent women who cant achieve anythin as the boss had worked hard to be where he was and deserved a better secretary (or something like that)

the same bloke has a tendancy to scribble so poorly teachers cant read wat he says and give him marks regardless....we both wrote out the lyrics to iron maiden and led zeplin songs for a year 8 science test.

He also plagarised and entire essay, got 0 for it, took it home re-did it in the same font and style identical to the line, traced the teachers marks and complained, the teacher went to show the sites the work was from and pooed himself.

during a speech instead of sayin dichotomies (di-cot-o-mees) i said dick cock to mees

thats all i can remember
 

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