G/F & B/f and opposite sex friends (1 Viewer)

[jumb]

~ForAGoodCause~ isnt considering the ladder theory.

 

[jen23]

i must admit i was really shocked when i read advice saying to get her to to chose between them or you... any guy who makes a chick chose between her friends or him is doomed, cause that just makes him like hes a control freak who doesnt trust her! guy friends are the best. they just provide a differnt perspective on stuff to girls and boyfriends. dont stress so much, if she wanted to go out with them, then she would be. she chose you, so be proud of that rather than suspicious of her!

 

[Cactus]

Ring up the TV show Cheaters. You will find out the truth and then the whole world will get to see u own her when they catch her

 

[mathock]

i know its bad but i still get cut when my g/f has her 'guy friends' ring her and want to take her out. we've been together and all of our fights have been over that issues and she says 'all my friends are guys i dont get on with many chicks its not my fault' but my point is that if you wanna see guys dont go see them where your the only chick because temptation is the first step to cheating' but she calims she doesnt wanna be with anyone else'

i know i am gonna cop the whole you should be more trusting, and i do trust her i just dont trust other guys coz i know how we think. and also i the hypocrite thing i can see chicks and she cant see guys but since we been together i havent talked to any of my chick friends without my g/f being there.

whats peoples views

mate, i was so in our position 2 months ago... my g/f used to go out with her group of friends (girls) but there was a group of guys that always used to hang around this group...

now i trusted my g/f, even tho it use to shit me that everytime she would go out she would end up surrunded by these guys (who i didnt like), especially seeing that she was an absolute stunner and when she drank she drank a LOT.

one night she went out same as usual, had too much to drink, and all these guys were cracking onto her... i rang her and realised something was going on and i went and found her... it turned out that 4 guys had tried to kiss her and she got with one of them... we had a massive argument and broke up 2 days later... doesnt matter that she was off her guts at the time, the moral of the story is that other guys cant be trusted around your girl...

guard her with your life

 

[Shuter]

guard her with your life

Hell, why doesn't he just club her over the head and drag her back to his cave?

Seriously, it's her decision if she ends up getting with these other guys. You can't make her be your girlfriend by controlling everything she does and making her obey you and trying to isolate her from other guys (who may be better than you), and if you do that's wrong.

You can't keep someone by isolating her from the competition, you have to be better than the competition.

 

[mathock]

Hell, why doesn't he just club her over the head and drag her back to his cave?

Seriously, it's her decision if she ends up getting with these other guys. You can't make her be your girlfriend by controlling everything she does and making her obey you and trying to isolate her from other guys (who may be better than you), and if you do that's wrong.

You can't keep someone by isolating her from the competition, you have to be better than the competition.

hmmm sorry dude, i was sorta going for the "slight humour" angle with that last comment, it was a joke... i totally agree with wat ur saying, but it must be acknowledged, girls + alcohol + other guys = nothing good

but ur right on the money with ya comment dude

 

[sped_kid01]

ive had that problem b4...i advise u NOT to go and hang out with chick friends, just to annoy her, cos that turns into a game, and then she wil ltry and get bak @ u, u will try and get bak @ her...etc...and it just gets worse and worst...that happens to soo many ppl...tell her how u feel...that u dont wanna be overbearing....but u wanna know what the go is between her and her guy friends...mmm i dunno?

 

[Evansy]

dude i know what u are going through, i went through that in my last relationship and trust me it doesnt work, despite how muhc u trust her, u dot really trust her, u will always be worried and always thing about stuff like wat she doing is she cheating on me etc!.
the only way a around it is try and be friends with her friends, now that im in another rel;ationship thats wat i trying to do, im trying to be friends with her girls friends so that then we can all hang out and then i know i can trust them, thats the best way to be. But yet its stil hard, being with new chic she is great and but im always worried im going to get hurt liek i did before but hey thats a risk you have to take!
good luck man!

 

[sunjet]

Give her friends 'THE TALK'

 

[wasted_emotions]

i know its bad but i still get cut when my g/f has her 'guy friends' ring her and want to take her out. we've been together and all of our fights have been over that issues and she says 'all my friends are guys i dont get on with many chicks its not my fault' but my point is that if you wanna see guys dont go see them where your the only chick because temptation is the first step to cheating' but she calims she doesnt wanna be with anyone else'

i know i am gonna cop the whole you should be more trusting, and i do trust her i just dont trust other guys coz i know how we think. and also i the hypocrite thing i can see chicks and she cant see guys but since we been together i havent talked to any of my chick friends without my g/f being there.

whats peoples views

my ex was like that, she cheated on me twice. fucking slut. but i tried to kill one of the guys.. and smash his windscreen with a brick eh im over it.

 

[llamalope]

it depends on how close the other guys are. You see, I was once talking to one of my guy friends abou whether he liked this girl, because he spent heaps of time with her, and they just seemed to get along really well. His reply was that nothing like that would ever happen, because he just sees her, and the rest of us girls who he was great friends with as sisters... "and that's incest". Which was a good way of looking at things. I have a fair few guy friends who are just that. Friends. While I'm sure they would make great boyfriends to someone, you just get to a point sometimes where that just isn't an issue.

Basically, if your girl is going to cheat, she's going to cheat. If she's not like that, it doesn't matter who she hangs out with because she's just not interested in any other guys in 'that' way. It takes 2 to tango.

It's understandable to be jealous... but you have to learn that just because a girl has guy friends, she doesn't necessarily want to sleep with them. unfortunately, YES, it is about trust

 

[MaryJane]

Its totally natural for you to be jealous and get worried when she's out with other guys, even if they are just friends. We've all heard the stories when friends hang out and one thing leads to another... thats how my boy and I got together! So its not like you can completely not think about it. And I disagree with people on here saying that you should go along with them, because it would just make it worse- a third wheel (or whatever number wheel you may be) is never completely 100% welcome. And if she does on the off chance flirt with her friends, it will just make you feel worse.

Have you told her how you feel? Because while she shouldnt have to stop seeing her guy friends, maybe they could shift the times they meet to the afternoon or something, rather than the evening to some club. If my boy had a problem like this, and I had nothing to hide, its not a major sacrifice to have to make.

Deep down, only you know whether you should have reason to worry. I used to get this a lot with my ex, but once I sat down and thought the situation through rationally, I realised that there was nothing to worry about at all. Its all about the mindset you put yourself in... Perhaps when she's out with her guy friends, you could go out with your girlfriends- now that would more than likely grab her attention!

Good luck

 

[Skittled]

~ForAGoodCause~ isnt considering the ladder theory.

You're kidding, right?

trust her. if she cheats, you wouldn't want to be with her anyway.

I hate that line... its like people telling you "she's a bitch" or "he's a bastard" just after you've broken up with them; you know they're trying to help but it's really not what you wanna hear. Suppose it's true in the end, though...

daniel2ya, it's natural to be protective, and probably your animal instincts would tell you to go smash their heads in and be done with it, but society says we've gotta be a little more tactful. As others have suggested; get some female friends. The more you hang onto her, the more clingy you appear to her and the more attractive her guy friends become. Not to say you shouldn't be attentive or whatever, but be careful of whining or complaining.

You're MUCH better off arguing a point with actions, rather than words. Go out with people outside HER social circle (as people have already said), and if your life revolves around this relationship (not a bad thing), and you're becoming uncomfortable as its orbit is changing, then change with it: find something else to revolve around. Find a passion, find other people, do something to take your mind off HER and what she's doing with others, because that'll just fester and make everything seem so much worse than it is...

all of our fights have been over that issues and she says 'all my friends are guys i dont get on with many chicks its not my fault'

Make sure she knows you're not criticising her, but just expressing it makes you uncomfortable. It seems - from what you quoted of her - she's getting defensive, which means she's interpreting the way you're talking (arguing) with her as an attack. Key to a good relationship is communicating and mutual desires/understanding...

How long have you been together?

 

[BrenKHS]

Some bitch pulled that "you should trust me" shit on my mate. And he did. She fucked 2 guys and gave headjobs to 2 others that I know of(probably several more).

Not all girls are bad but not all can be trusted.

 

[Evansy]

honestly, ur relationship must've been pretty rocky then coz thre's either trust or there isnt - u cant sorta kinda maybe trust someone...

if you do nt trust them, you dont have a relationship because trust is one of the most important parts in relationships....

if you cant trust ur partner to spend time with who they want when they want without thinking they're gonna cheat on you, dont expect the relationship to be too long lasting...

yeah well that first relationship did last for a long time 2 and half years. NOW LOOKINg back on it, it wasnt the best relationship, and i just stuffed up my last relationship, i must be a time bomb everytime i get into a relationship

 

[LaraB]

yeah well that first relationship did last for a long time 2 and half years. NOW LOOKINg back on it, it wasnt the best relationship, and i just stuffed up my last relationship, i must be a time bomb everytime i get into a relationship

dont say you must be a time bomb there's 2 ways to every relationship.

didnt mean to insult you or anything - just making a general comment

 

[soha]

u dont like her going out with her guy friends...thats fair enough
but my friends boyfriend wont even let her go out with her girl friends
or talk to them
he thinks they will brain wash her into dumping him..or when we go out we will take her to pick up some guys
its so retarted
and he obviously knows hes a jerk if he thinks we're gonan try and convince her
but yeah..so she has no friends...anymore..coz..she chooses him over us..so we're like 4get it bitch

 

[katie_tully]

i know its bad but i still get cut when my g/f has her 'guy friends' ring her and want to take her out. we've been together and all of our fights have been over that issues and she says 'all my friends are guys i dont get on with many chicks its not my fault' but my point is that if you wanna see guys dont go see them where your the only chick because temptation is the first step to cheating' but she calims she doesnt wanna be with anyone else'

i know i am gonna cop the whole you should be more trusting, and i do trust her i just dont trust other guys coz i know how we think. and also i the hypocrite thing i can see chicks and she cant see guys but since we been together i havent talked to any of my chick friends without my g/f being there.

whats peoples views

My view is you're an arse clown and you need to get over it. Majority of my close mates are guys, and my boyfriend trusts me enough that he doesn't care if I go to a movie with a mate, or lunch or something. Same goes for him and his female friends.

Obviously the underlying issue is you dont trust her, and that's really shit in an relationship. Maybe you need to stop being a jerkoff.

 

[spin spin sugar]

he specifically said its not that he doesnt trust her, its that he doesnt trust the other guys. i think thats fair enough, it hardly classifies him as being an 'arseclown', or 'jerkoff'. at worst he's probably insecure, so get off yr high horse katie. btw wtf is going on with yr eyebrow?

 

[katie_tully]

he specifically said its not that he doesnt trust her, its that he doesnt trust the other guys. i think thats fair enough, it hardly classifies him as being an 'arseclown', or 'jerkoff'. at worst he's probably insecure, so get off yr high horse katie. btw wtf is going on with yr eyebrow?

Oh come off it. If he trusted her completely it wouldnt matter about those other guys. It's all up to her, and if the trust is there and if he knows she wont do something, what is the problem. Obviously he thinks if they make a pass at her, she will act on it. If he didnt think that it wouldnt matter.
Has he even bothered to get to know her friends? To spend time with them and establish that theyre not all that bad?

He then said that it's somewhat hypocritical because he too has female friends.

As for my eye brow, there's nothing wrong with it. Your head is probabably too far up your arse and you cant see there is hair covering it.