general UNSW chit-chat (1 Viewer)

[Forbidden.]

AS CSE Revue is playing now, here was one of the scripts they used in the show that I wrote but its been changed heavily when it was performed so yeah.

Sexual Education
*It’s a sexual education class for university students and it seems the teacher has his own personal style of teaching the content involved??

Teacher: Welcome to sexual education. The reason for this class is not really to teach you how sexual intercourse happens.. I’ll instead get you to discuss your thoughts and experiences on the activity! Now to begin...

Student 1: Wait! Sir!! *Stands up from seat*

Teacher: What is it?

Student 1: What if we don’t have any experience in... you know... sex....

Teacher: You’re kidding... Are you still a virgin?

Student 1: *nods slowly* Well, yeah... I mean.. The only vagina I’ve ever seen is the one I came out of...

Teacher: ALRIGHT! Thanks for that! Please sit down! Well... Shit, it looks like I’ll need to ask you all a few questions... Who here has had plain sexual intercourse? Please raise your hand...*No one raises their hand*

Teacher: You’re kidding... Who here has not had sexual intercourse?

*Everyone raises their hand*

Teacher: FUCK ME.... There are 20,000 people at this university and I’m stuck with 30 virgins in a sex ed class.... Haven’t any of you been in any sort of sexual situation?

Student 2: I got my penis jammed inside a watermelon once? Does that count? I hope so because it took me ages to get it out....

Teacher: NO, THAT DOES NOT COUNT! *pause* Out of curiosity, how did you get it in there in the first place?

Student 2: Well, it’s simple.... Headfirst....

Teacher: Oh my... At least we’re making progress... So at this rate, looks like I’ll have to do things differently... Listen up! All of you! For my next class, you all have to experience some sort of sexual interaction! And playing with yourself doesn’t count... Unless you get someone else to do it for you... Then I’ll pass you... If you want anything higher than that, you’ll need to do the deed as god intended... Without the use of your hand... One more thing! I’ll fail you automatically if you pay for it... And don’t expect special consideration if you catch an STD afterwards! Any questions??

*Silence for 4 seconds*

Teacher: Good... Because I’ve got one more for all of you.... What faculty are you from??

Everyone: CSE!!
Teacher: *pause* I can already predict a high failure rate..... Looks like we’ll be getting to know each other from now on..... *shakes his head downwards*
*End of Script


Good luck to all you hopeful YS's by the way. To be honest, selections for YS are simply weird? They're after a diverse group of people but even then, there's no saying whether they'd pick you or not?

Bobness, I liked your application but if you'd written half as much, you still would've made it through to the interview round.

LOLOLOL
Looks like CSE revue pwns all.
Med revue was mediocre.

EDIT: I WISH THE ROUNDHOUSE HAD GUITARFREAKS AND/OR DRUMMANIA THIS IS THE REASON WHY I POST Rock On AT THE END OF SOME OF MY POSTS

EDIT2: had to endure another bishop chem lecture

Rock On

 

[Omium]

LOLOLOL
Looks like CSE revue pwns all.
Med revue was mediocre.

EDIT: I WISH THE ROUNDHOUSE HAD GUITARFREAKS AND/OR DRUMMANIA THIS IS THE REASON WHY I POST Rock On AT THE END OF SOME OF MY POSTS

EDIT2: had to endure another bishop chem lecture

Rock On

lol bishop Isnt too bad in other courses...

He writes up on the board a lot in my CHEM course and actually makes a lot of sense.

When i was doing MATS i hated him :S

 

[Forbidden.]

lol bishop Isnt too bad in other courses...

He writes up on the board a lot in my CHEM course and actually makes a lot of sense.

When i was doing MATS i hated him :S

his notes are becoming more confusing and and i still cant fucken calculate the pH of 0.12M HOBr with a pK[aub]a[/sub] of 8.63

btw anthony granville came in early and hes a pretty cool guy.
he called a guy with a longer right leg (than left leg) a freak (but apologised later of course), first insult in a while i ever heard in uni by a lecturer (in reference to the symmetrical property of some molecules i forgot what its called)

 

[shinji]

his notes are becoming more confusing and and i still cant fucken calculate the pH of 0.12M HOBr with a pK[aub]a[/sub] of 8.63

btw anthony granville came in early and hes a pretty cool guy.
he called a guy with a longer right leg (than left leg) a freak (but apologised later of course), first insult in a while i ever heard in uni by a lecturer (in reference to the symmetrical property of some molecules i forgot what its called)

Rock on?

@tallkid34 : !!!LOLLOLOLOLOLOL
that was pretty hilarious. hahah

 

[Omium]

his notes are becoming more confusing and and i still cant fucken calculate the pH of 0.12M HOBr with a pK[aub]a[/sub] of 8.63

btw anthony granville came in early and hes a pretty cool guy.
he called a guy with a longer right leg (than left leg) a freak (but apologised later of course), first insult in a while i ever heard in uni by a lecturer (in reference to the symmetrical property of some molecules i forgot what its called)

Chiral.

For 0.13M HOBr.

You need to remember

Ka * Kb = 10^-14
and pKa + pKb = 14

Also OHBr dissociates to give OH- so you need to find POH then do 14 - POH to give PH.

As POH + PH = 14.

 

[shoxgeneration]

Hey guys, what's going on?

I got into 2nd-round interviews for YS! But apparently my phone's disconnected because she couldn't reach me - But its not! And she left a number and I tried to call back, but it said it was disconnected. It's a sign.

And Helen, I was going to ask if you wanted to come, but I've just realised, before heading home, that I have 5 assignments due this week and next and I haven't started. WAH. I'd make a great YS.

Yeah don't worry, I've got tonsillitis now so not in any good mood/state to go? and plus.. its thursday already haha.

oh awesome, when's your interview session?

And yes Lesl haah.. have you grown taller/! :S or maybe it was cos i was sitting down haha

 

[tallkid34]

LOLOLOL
Looks like CSE revue pwns all.
Med revue was mediocre.

EDIT: I WISH THE ROUNDHOUSE HAD GUITARFREAKS AND/OR DRUMMANIA THIS IS THE REASON WHY I POST Rock On AT THE END OF SOME OF MY POSTS

EDIT2: had to endure another bishop chem lecture

Rock On

Med Revue was alright! Much better than I expected! Since some of you liked that CSE Revue script I posted up, here was one that I wrote for Med Revue this year. (I actually wrote 2 scripts but the other one is mostly one of those scripts that you have to see to laugh at).

Sex Life

*A couple are sitting in bed… Talking over their sex life…. It’s apparently taking a turn for the worst…

Wife: So darling… Do you wanna have sex?

Husband: Nah.. not really… I’d rather just stare at the wall and wait slowly for my inevitable death….

Wife: WHY NOT! Why don’t you want me anymore!!!

Husband: I do want you, honey!! I just want you to shut up so I can stare at the wall… Listen, all I want tonight is some peace and quiet… Not endless games of hide the sausage….

Wife: It’s not my fault you can’t hide it right?

Husband: Listen… I need to sleep….

Wife: Ok, so if you don’t want to do it now? When do you want to do it?

Husband: How about sometime in the not-so-but really-very-distant future? Maybe once I’m dead?

Wife: DARLING! WHEN ARE YOU FREE?

Husband: I work Mondays to Sundays 9am to 5….

Wife: Evenings then?

Husband: Busy…

Wife: Busy doing what?

Husband: Uhhh…. Having sex?

Wife: WITH WHO?

Husband: Myself... The boys… Whoever’s available… I’m not really that picky..

Wife: You’re cheating on me?

Husband: No, I’m just lying to you…

Wife: Why is it that you don’t want to make love to me anymore… No more lies…
Husband: I just don’t want children….

Wife: Really…

Husband: Pretty much…

Wife: Well, what if I told you I was infertile…

Husband: WHAT!

Wife: It’s true… Horrible accident as a baby… I drank turpentine by mistake and it killed my ovaries… So I couldn’t have a kid if I wanted one…

Husband: Is that really the truth?

Wife: Would I lie about something like that, honey??

Husband: If that’s the case… Then yeah, let’s make love…

*Lights turn off. Husband and Wife make funny moaning sounds. Alarm goes off*

Voiceover: 10 seconds later….

*Lights turn on. Husband and Wife look at audience satisfied*

Husband: That was great… I can finally make love to you without having to worry afterwards…

Wife: Darling…..

Husband: Yes honey?

Wife: I lied….. My ovaries work just fine… Infact, they’re probably working right now as we speak… Thanks for your contribution!

Husband: *pause* NOOOOOOO………..

*End of script*


@Helen: Hope you get better soon! Are you gonna go through with the YS interview? 2nd year in a row that you havent been 100% for it??

 

[shinji]

Med Revue was alright! Much better than I expected! Since some of you liked that CSE Revue script I posted up, here was one that I wrote for Med Revue this year. (I actually wrote 2 scripts but the other one is mostly one of those scripts that you have to see to laugh at).

Sex Life

*A couple are sitting in bed… Talking over their sex life…. It’s apparently taking a turn for the worst…

Wife: So darling… Do you wanna have sex?

Husband: Nah.. not really… I’d rather just stare at the wall and wait slowly for my inevitable death….

Wife: WHY NOT! Why don’t you want me anymore!!!

Husband: I do want you, honey!! I just want you to shut up so I can stare at the wall… Listen, all I want tonight is some peace and quiet… Not endless games of hide the sausage….

Wife: It’s not my fault you can’t hide it right?

Husband: Listen… I need to sleep….

Wife: Ok, so if you don’t want to do it now? When do you want to do it?

Husband: How about sometime in the not-so-but really-very-distant future? Maybe once I’m dead?

Wife: DARLING! WHEN ARE YOU FREE?

Husband: I work Mondays to Sundays 9am to 5….

Wife: Evenings then?

Husband: Busy…

Wife: Busy doing what?

Husband: Uhhh…. Having sex?

Wife: WITH WHO?

Husband: Myself... The boys… Whoever’s available… I’m not really that picky..

Wife: You’re cheating on me?

Husband: No, I’m just lying to you…

Wife: Why is it that you don’t want to make love to me anymore… No more lies…
Husband: I just don’t want children….

Wife: Really…

Husband: Pretty much…

Wife: Well, what if I told you I was infertile…

Husband: WHAT!

Wife: It’s true… Horrible accident as a baby… I drank turpentine by mistake and it killed my ovaries… So I couldn’t have a kid if I wanted one…

Husband: Is that really the truth?

Wife: Would I lie about something like that, honey??

Husband: If that’s the case… Then yeah, let’s make love…

*Lights turn off. Husband and Wife make funny moaning sounds. Alarm goes off*

Voiceover: 10 seconds later….

*Lights turn on. Husband and Wife look at audience satisfied*

Husband: That was great… I can finally make love to you without having to worry afterwards…

Wife: Darling…..

Husband: Yes honey?

Wife: I lied….. My ovaries work just fine… Infact, they’re probably working right now as we speak… Thanks for your contribution!

Husband: *pause* NOOOOOOO………..

*End of script*


@Helen: Hope you get better soon! Are you gonna go through with the YS interview? 2nd year in a row that you havent been 100% for it??

lol, not as good as the other one, but pretty funny. I kinda predicted the end thoguh. lol

 

[tallkid34]

Yeah, thats what I thought. But I remember they changed that script a lot for the revue. Scripts are a hit or miss sort of thing to write... Sometimes, they're hilarious because you've got good cast members playing the roles but other times, the joke could just completely fly past you and you'd be left thinking "WTF?"

That's what I felt at CSE Revue this week. Some of their stuff was hilarious but some skits were just too dead-pan to be funny. Regardless, it was my favourite revue so far! Who couldn't forget the September 11th video... hahhaha

 

[Beege]

I'm getting pretty sick of all of this revue hype going on around the uni lately tbh

 

[wrong_turn]

try me haha

third year of uni...im use to the revues.

@helen: i dont think ive grown any taller :S:S

i thought i stopped growing already...

and i found one of the ys posters in the bottom quad food court.

@corey: i loled at the scripts

 

[shinji]

so tallkid = corey eh.

Hiya corey!
ahaha

 

[darkwolfzx]

hide the sausage rofl

 

[wrong_turn]

i loled because i get it and im such a thick person.....

....

 

[darkwolfzx]

-_____________________-

 

[Omium]

so tallkid = corey eh.

Hiya corey!
ahaha

Corey corey corey in the houssseeee!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[gman03]

Looks like CSE revue pwns all.

Hmmm I forgot the name of the song did they use for the LMAO parody ... anyone?

And I like that LED matrix they've used.

 

[themadness]

Looks like CSE revue pwns all.

Alan Zeino is a sexy, sexy man.

 

[darkwolfzx]

rofl.

By the way i've been updating my manual...I'm looking for yellowshirts (prospective included) to give me information on what you do, how students can approach etc.

 

[tallkid34]

Corey corey corey in the houssseeee!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey guys, haha!

What exactly are you doing Darkwolf? I did YS last year so what is this manual you are speaking of?