guys! can you explain this (1 Viewer)

flipsyde

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Ive been dating this guy for 1 month today. But because today was mothers day and I have a family party *shudders*, we went out last night. It was his friends party of some sort.

I was introduced to everybody as his girlfriend but the whole night hed bearly touch me, he didtn kiss me or anything and when I kissed him on the cheek, well you could see he was uncomfortable.


But we were at his house before the party and we were making out. So I thought it was something that Id done at the party, so I asked him. He said no and smiled. Then Im like hmmmmmm :S.

I dropped him home and he said "why dont you come in for a while" and so I did and we made out on the bed again.... I dont get it....guys explain please...girls to if you want, just figured guys would know.

Ive taken him to parties and hes kissed me there, I dont mean like make out , course I wouldnt make out at a party around friends, but I mea he wouldnt even touch me on the leg or anything an Id lean against him on the couch and he didnt do anything. then I was tired and he said , "go lay doen and put your head over there" which was the other end of the couch and not very comortable, It would have been better to lay on hom... ok that I understand but he was very distant.

He kisses me infont of his family to... so I dunno... explain?
 
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alby

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maybe just a bit shy of public displays when he's round his mates..or he & his mates might've come to some sort of agreement that you arent all over your gf when you're out with your mates. my bf's the latter, because of his last gf who was literally all over him (young & clingy, as they are). it saves the hassle of having your mates pissed off at you caus they dont get to have fun with you (espically if it was someone's party).

i agree with the idea, caus you're there to see your mates, and if you didnt want to see them you could quite easily be elsewhere, making out and whatever with your gf/bf...but still, you dont want to feel like you're invisible when he invited you there.

talk to him & just see where he/his mates stand so that you know what can and cant happen in the future
 

flipsyde

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alby said:
maybe just a bit shy of public displays when he's round his mates..or he & his mates might've come to some sort of agreement that you arent all over your gf when you're out with your mates. my bf's the latter, because of his last gf who was literally all over him (young & clingy, as they are). it saves the hassle of having your mates pissed off at you caus they dont get to have fun with you (espically if it was someone's party).

i agree with the idea, caus you're there to see your mates, and if you didnt want to see them you could quite easily be elsewhere, making out and whatever with your gf/bf...but still, you dont want to feel like you're invisible when he invited you there.

talk to him & just see where he/his mates stand so that you know what can and cant happen in the future


oh ist not like that I didnt mean be all over him or anythog I just wanted him to at least... well when I was sitting next to him on the couch he woudnt even touch my leg... there were other people there with their partneers and they were going at it... lol I didn tmean that I wanted to fully make out I just wish hed of at least doen SOMETHING, anything...cos I even looked at him and smiled... he looked at me quickly, didnt smile, then looked back....I was having fun with his mates to, I didnt wanna go make out...


grrr you knwo what I mean... Im not the clingy type, I went off and did my own things at the party and socialised with others. Im also not one for public displays of affection but I dont mind if its a quick peck here and there.
 

alby

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yeah, i know what you mean. simplest way to find out is just to ask him. sure it might be a bit weird at first, but he might come out of his shell a bit & let you know what's going on.

what's he like just in public normally? that might tell you if he's a bit shy when it comes to public displays (which includes just holding hands and pecks and little stuff like that) or its something else...talk to him anyway, that's the only way you'll get the real answer. all we can give you on here is suggestions/ideas
 

sunjet

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i think he just simply wanted to spend time with his mates or something.. if he doesn't see them often maybe
 

alby

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true. my bf was a bit 'shy' when we were round his mates (they were the closest ones, who're up in syd) when we'd just started going out...but that was also to do with the whole 'you're there to be with your mates not to be all over your gf' thing they had going from before. he's a bit more relaxed nowdays, but we've also come to an understanding about it
 

flipsyde

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alby said:
true. my bf was a bit 'shy' when we were round his mates (they were the closest ones, who're up in syd) when we'd just started going out...but that was also to do with the whole 'you're there to be with your mates not to be all over your gf' thing they had going from before. he's a bit more relaxed nowdays, but we've also come to an understanding about it
yeha I totally understand that to. I mean when I go to a party with him with my friends Im there to be with them and not him, and thats fine cos I dont hang with him the whole night. I didnt hang with him for most of the night until the end when there was only 4 people left and we were all on the couch. so I do understand that, and theres no wa Id bring a guy to a party and hang with him the whole night or anythign... I just I dunno, maybe Im being silly lol. or yeah maybe hes shy around his mates.... yeah

I understand the wole being there to be wiht friends thing cos Ive had that argument with him when I was at a friend s house and he wanted to go home and wanted me to go with him an iM like... no I havent seen these guys in ages, you can go home if you want but Im staying. so I undertand the whole here to be with friends thing.

thanks guys
 

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maybe someone said something to him about being too "public" and so hes gone and done the opposite, not sure where he stands with his mates.

Or he mighta been feeling sick, when ive drank a bit to much and i feel queasy the last thing i want is someone wanting me to pay attention to me, touching me or even be too near me cause its usually ok after a few hours, but at that time i wanna be left alone

or it could be something completly different
 

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from a guy view...... i don't do that sort of stuff when i'm places with my friends as well. everything has a place... he just might not have felt comfortable with an audiance, or didn't feel it was the right spot.
 

alby

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Serius said:
Or he mighta been feeling sick, when ive drank a bit to much and i feel queasy the last thing i want is someone wanting me to pay attention to me, touching me or even be too near me cause its usually ok after a few hours, but at that time i wanna be left alone
yet they were pashing, etc afterwards (and before for that matter). if that were the 'case', i'd be thinking it was a bit suss
 

Serius

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honnestly though, i do get like that when ive had too much, and then i just dont drink anything and sit down and be calm for a few hours and iam right[explains the afterparty fun]
 

alby

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hmmm...still, you'd have to be quite queesy to be like that (ie. either smashed or you just cant hold your alcomahol at all), which makes me wonder why you arent about to run outside & puke in about 5 mins

edit: and how does that explain him having fun with his mates, but not even wanting to touch her leg for what looks like the WHOLE night?
 
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Northern Elias

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mmmm, Girls have to be in the mood , so theoretically that applies to guys aswell (which is prolly like 99percent of all cases). Like I'm rpetty sure gurls can tell if a guy shows laboured affection and not passion controlled affection. In a sense it either should be gr8 or not at all.
 

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nah down worry about it my bf is just the same, it is annoying but u just gotta get used to it, if i go to hug him infront of his friends or something he'll push me away :( or not hug me back, or if we r out and i ask to borrow his jacket he drops it on the ground :( makes me angry, some guys just dont like the whole public thing,
 

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SqUiMpY said:
nah down worry about it my bf is just the same, it is annoying but u just gotta get used to it, if i go to hug him infront of his friends or something he'll push me away :( or not hug me back, or if we r out and i ask to borrow his jacket he drops it on the ground :( makes me angry, some guys just dont like the whole public thing,
bahah you get cut.
 

55078

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SqUiMpY said:
nah down worry about it my bf is just the same, it is annoying but u just gotta get used to it, if i go to hug him infront of his friends or something he'll push me away :( or not hug me back, or if we r out and i ask to borrow his jacket he drops it on the ground :( makes me angry, some guys just dont like the whole public thing,
he sounds like a dick. :\
 

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flipsyde said:
Ive been dating this guy for 1 month today. But because today was mothers day and I have a family party *shudders*, we went out last night. It was his friends party of some sort.

I was introduced to everybody as his girlfriend but the whole night hed bearly touch me, he didtn kiss me or anything and when I kissed him on the cheek, well you could see he was uncomfortable.


But we were at his house before the party and we were making out. So I thought it was something that Id done at the party, so I asked him. He said no and smiled. Then Im like hmmmmmm :S.

I dropped him home and he said "why dont you come in for a while" and so I did and we made out on the bed again.... I dont get it....guys explain please...girls to if you want, just figured guys would know.

Ive taken him to parties and hes kissed me there, I dont mean like make out , course I wouldnt make out at a party around friends, but I mea he wouldnt even touch me on the leg or anything an Id lean against him on the couch and he didnt do anything. then I was tired and he said , "go lay doen and put your head over there" which was the other end of the couch and not very comortable, It would have been better to lay on hom... ok that I understand but he was very distant.

He kisses me infont of his family to... so I dunno... explain?
Im guessing its probably an image thing. I know when i was first with my boyfriend he was very stand-off-ish around his friends in the first few months.

I wouldnt worry too much about it as yet. He's probably just becoming comfortable with you himself let alone having you around with his mates as well.
 

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