ifsonotso_100
Meh
- Joined
- Jan 26, 2005
- Messages
- 372
- Gender
- Male
- HSC
- 2004
A CREATIVE STORY, WHICH SHOULD GIVE IDEAS(was used in 05 HSC) feel free to rate it!!
My english ain't great- and you don't need brilliant english skills in the creative- need to illustrate a journey. My idea is simple and very believable, the english isn't flashy(though i had a better one which i deleted after the hsc this was "the first version" i wrote and then wrote a better one, and then wrote a similar story in the HSC however changed the intro to suite the image".
Here it is- is a guide, not perfect but it would get a decent mark i am guessing well my teachers said it was really good and quite original in the way it is written, by means use ideas but don't copy or u'll get zero since its on BOS and hundreds of people visit.
The Journey Story
It was my dream that was screwed up as I lay there on my bed completely motionless looking at the pale wall ahead of me. Sweat slowly trickled down my face and I wondered what had happened for someone who had had such an opportunity in life and now it was all gone. My head may have been leaning forward looking at the pale wall in front of me but inside my head a million thoughts were pulsating.
It was the end of high school and I could distinctly remember all the faces after the end of our HSC exam. Everyone was thrilled that they could be leaving the place which for many symbolised a jail cell. For others it represented a safe haven and on their faces showed mixed emotions one of relief the other was sorrow and I knew they wouldn’t secretly have minded spending another six years of their life at high school. It was quite a time straight after our HSC exam and plans which had been made months ago would finally come into fruition. They say that after your last HSC exam life takes a whole new meaning well it certainly did for me. For me personally high school was quite good. I had made numerous friends along the way and there were plenty of memories some good and some not so good however there wouldn’t be too many people who can think of high school and think everything was positive. I could remember the very first day of high school and could remember how the teachers were always smiling and so were we. Well we were when we heard there were free ice blocks. If I see a year 6 child now I’d tell them to beware about the high-school trap as once you are in they have got you by the scruff of your neck for the next 6 years. Ironically we weren’t presented with iceblocks when we left. I guess they care about new blood, not old plus I guess the school coffers weren’t large enough as public schools are really under funded and they had to spend money wisely. Schools were like a business they had to invest wisely and they certainly did that when they bought us ice blocks.
I shook my head gently and continued looking at the pale wall in front of me. I could hear voices further away and I hoped that someone would talk to me as well. Unfortunately no-one came. My mind slowly drifted on another tangent however my head was staring dead straight at the wall immediately ahead of me.
High school life was over and there were many parties to go to. It was going to be awesome. I was eighteen and this was going to be a really good time for me and all of my mates. Life was the best. No more studying until university at least and that was like three months away and to someone who has just finished their HSC that is seriously like an eternity. I was a butterfly carefree and totally unrestricted. The first party was great however as the party life continued it became repetitive and the initial excitement and exuberance that I had all but dissipated as parties started to become quite tedious.
I was temporarily awoken as I heard sounds from next door. Noone came to my room and I went back to my daydream and analysed my past, thinking where I could possibly have gone wrong to be in this awful predicament that I find myself in.
My parents were quite strict however I cared for my family a lot. They had taken care off me since I was a child and because of their strict nature I was quite an obedient person. Though at times they were lenient they had one strict policy in particular and that was no drinking and driving?. I knew perfectly the repercussions of doing so and as our principal had warned us on many occasions the outcomes can be catastrophic. I just couldn’t fathom someone who could be so stupid to do something like that. It was uncomprehensible to see how someone could be so foolish.
I was woken up again by the same movement as before in the room next to mine and felt a slight twinge in my neck. It was because my head been transfixed staring at the pale wall for such a long period of time. I looked at the narrow corridor and saw a lady in a little bit of a hurry and then I immediately went back to staring at the wall.
It was like any other night. I had told my parents I would be drinking and they gave me a lift to the 4th party that I had been to this week. It had been quite hectic. Nothing was happening and the party seemed overwhelming. I got outside the house to breathe some fresh air into my lungs. Outside the party a group of people I wasn’t really familiar with were having some sort of competition doing burnouts. The smell of burnt tyres was overwhelming and temporarily the smell of ash filled my lungs. The atmosphere was rather electric and I felt out of place however I didn’t see the harm in being an innocent passer by. They say choices can affect one’s outcome on the journey. I guess I learnt the hard way.
I came back to reality and tears started running down my face. I shuddered realizing the consequences of my actions and I couldn’t believe it. No it couldn’t be, I let my mind drift one more time. I had to be sure.
The recklessness of the car drivers was incredible. I had a slight grin thinking how could anyone be stupid doing burnouts after they had been drinking. It was laughable.
However the next instant I was approached by the car drivers. He told me to have a go. Maybe it was the alcohol setting in or maybe the peer pressure by a group I didn’t even know. I got behind the wheel. Car stood still, time stood still and I lost control.
There were two passengers in the car I was the survivor. It was my dream that was screwed up as I lay in the bed as a paraplegic for the rest of my life. I had had such a bright future; one reckless act and it was gone. The hardest part was the funeral. They say time heals well I am 55 years old and this is the 16th time I have attempted suicide and the 16th time I have stared at the wall and no signs that this will be my last.
My english ain't great- and you don't need brilliant english skills in the creative- need to illustrate a journey. My idea is simple and very believable, the english isn't flashy(though i had a better one which i deleted after the hsc this was "the first version" i wrote and then wrote a better one, and then wrote a similar story in the HSC however changed the intro to suite the image".
Here it is- is a guide, not perfect but it would get a decent mark i am guessing well my teachers said it was really good and quite original in the way it is written, by means use ideas but don't copy or u'll get zero since its on BOS and hundreds of people visit.
The Journey Story
It was my dream that was screwed up as I lay there on my bed completely motionless looking at the pale wall ahead of me. Sweat slowly trickled down my face and I wondered what had happened for someone who had had such an opportunity in life and now it was all gone. My head may have been leaning forward looking at the pale wall in front of me but inside my head a million thoughts were pulsating.
It was the end of high school and I could distinctly remember all the faces after the end of our HSC exam. Everyone was thrilled that they could be leaving the place which for many symbolised a jail cell. For others it represented a safe haven and on their faces showed mixed emotions one of relief the other was sorrow and I knew they wouldn’t secretly have minded spending another six years of their life at high school. It was quite a time straight after our HSC exam and plans which had been made months ago would finally come into fruition. They say that after your last HSC exam life takes a whole new meaning well it certainly did for me. For me personally high school was quite good. I had made numerous friends along the way and there were plenty of memories some good and some not so good however there wouldn’t be too many people who can think of high school and think everything was positive. I could remember the very first day of high school and could remember how the teachers were always smiling and so were we. Well we were when we heard there were free ice blocks. If I see a year 6 child now I’d tell them to beware about the high-school trap as once you are in they have got you by the scruff of your neck for the next 6 years. Ironically we weren’t presented with iceblocks when we left. I guess they care about new blood, not old plus I guess the school coffers weren’t large enough as public schools are really under funded and they had to spend money wisely. Schools were like a business they had to invest wisely and they certainly did that when they bought us ice blocks.
I shook my head gently and continued looking at the pale wall in front of me. I could hear voices further away and I hoped that someone would talk to me as well. Unfortunately no-one came. My mind slowly drifted on another tangent however my head was staring dead straight at the wall immediately ahead of me.
High school life was over and there were many parties to go to. It was going to be awesome. I was eighteen and this was going to be a really good time for me and all of my mates. Life was the best. No more studying until university at least and that was like three months away and to someone who has just finished their HSC that is seriously like an eternity. I was a butterfly carefree and totally unrestricted. The first party was great however as the party life continued it became repetitive and the initial excitement and exuberance that I had all but dissipated as parties started to become quite tedious.
I was temporarily awoken as I heard sounds from next door. Noone came to my room and I went back to my daydream and analysed my past, thinking where I could possibly have gone wrong to be in this awful predicament that I find myself in.
My parents were quite strict however I cared for my family a lot. They had taken care off me since I was a child and because of their strict nature I was quite an obedient person. Though at times they were lenient they had one strict policy in particular and that was no drinking and driving?. I knew perfectly the repercussions of doing so and as our principal had warned us on many occasions the outcomes can be catastrophic. I just couldn’t fathom someone who could be so stupid to do something like that. It was uncomprehensible to see how someone could be so foolish.
I was woken up again by the same movement as before in the room next to mine and felt a slight twinge in my neck. It was because my head been transfixed staring at the pale wall for such a long period of time. I looked at the narrow corridor and saw a lady in a little bit of a hurry and then I immediately went back to staring at the wall.
It was like any other night. I had told my parents I would be drinking and they gave me a lift to the 4th party that I had been to this week. It had been quite hectic. Nothing was happening and the party seemed overwhelming. I got outside the house to breathe some fresh air into my lungs. Outside the party a group of people I wasn’t really familiar with were having some sort of competition doing burnouts. The smell of burnt tyres was overwhelming and temporarily the smell of ash filled my lungs. The atmosphere was rather electric and I felt out of place however I didn’t see the harm in being an innocent passer by. They say choices can affect one’s outcome on the journey. I guess I learnt the hard way.
I came back to reality and tears started running down my face. I shuddered realizing the consequences of my actions and I couldn’t believe it. No it couldn’t be, I let my mind drift one more time. I had to be sure.
The recklessness of the car drivers was incredible. I had a slight grin thinking how could anyone be stupid doing burnouts after they had been drinking. It was laughable.
However the next instant I was approached by the car drivers. He told me to have a go. Maybe it was the alcohol setting in or maybe the peer pressure by a group I didn’t even know. I got behind the wheel. Car stood still, time stood still and I lost control.
There were two passengers in the car I was the survivor. It was my dream that was screwed up as I lay in the bed as a paraplegic for the rest of my life. I had had such a bright future; one reckless act and it was gone. The hardest part was the funeral. They say time heals well I am 55 years old and this is the 16th time I have attempted suicide and the 16th time I have stared at the wall and no signs that this will be my last.
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