I really like my best friend. (1 Viewer)

[Skittled]

The problem with things like this is people are looking for plain, yes or no, clear cut, gauranteed answers. I've been in relationships where 'best friends' develops into beautiful relationships, and I've been the 'best friend' who wasn't quite as attached as the other party thought I was.... it's impossible for us to tell you what to do...

It totally depends on your relationship with her. In my experience the best relationships come out of a best-friendship: somehow its as if you're more compassionate, and as if the relationship is just healthier and (potentially) longer-lasting than ones which start off in the heat of passion. ie How can you 'love' someone when you've known them a week, yet during that week you've already slept together which just messes with the emotions you're developing... somehow it just all seems so unstable and sloppy (but maybe the general outline of many passionate romance novels, too).

On the other hand, if you've gotten to know someone for who they are as a friend, rather than as --and only as-- a lover...

 

[MikeCrick]

I told my best friend I loved her
Things have never been the same
I can tell you that the Love never goes away, but don't dig yourself in and make friendship impossiable
long to have our perfect friendship back, I'd do anything

friendship often ends in love, but love never ends in friendship

Thankyou for that statement, it speaks wonders

Cheers
-Mike

 

[ben_au69]

So really you're NOT all mates now...

did you end up getting anything on with ur best friend before returning to friends?

nah we kinda just pretended nothing happened

and we continued being friends

and now we're still friends

but i still want her

 

[wasted_emotions]

Should I tell her?
If so, HOW?

i fell in love wit my best friend... it lasted 2 days then we broke up. i didnt speak to her for 6 months, she told me she felt the same way but obviously she didnt. id say dont say anything, look but dont touch, i lost my best friend.... shes gone an she's not comin back, like i still see her but the most we'll say is 'hi' instead of talking all nite etc... it fuckin crushed me, that was 2 years ago and it still hurts.
DONT DO IT

 

[jumb]

Should I tell her?
If so, HOW?

NO! You will be shot down, and you will ruin your friendship. Concentrate on other people.

 

[Keen]

Yeah, I get buggered when I hear some girls say they want to be good friends with a guy then progress that onto a relationship. Do girls just not know what they want? This doesn't work, well ok it works rarely, but if it doesn't (most of the time) you've become good friends and it just ends up ruining a good friendship. You'll either end up pretending like it never happened (so annoying), or them not talking to you (very sad). Do so only if you think this is really really special (rare) if it's your run of the mill attraction go find another girl and that goes for girls too. I think you just don't want to make the effort (don't want to ask guys, don't want to look for them, they just want them to come and be friends and then progress, but when it happens they realised they can't be attracted to their friend and wonder why they never get dates even though their amazing girls).

Keen

 

[tendays]

I've been there, and I can't say there's a good way to tell that to someone, but my number one rule is.
always hold the friendship above the relationship. A solid friendship should be the basis for everything, and if it gets to a stage where the relationship is getting in the way of that, maybe you should hold back. There can be a good balance between friend and lover.

 

[pinkblinkbarbie]

this is totally your call. i really agree with what skittled said. and thats basially my advice aswell.
we dont know this girl you like, but you do, so you know better than anyone how she should react.
um i dated my male best friend 4 times haha, and it didnt work obviously. but we are still best friends, it never changed anything. my other male best friend is my ex boyfriend....he has a gf but says he still loves me, but thats cool, he takes a risk in telling me, but he knows how i would react. we are still best friends, so him telling me never changes anything. same with most my male friends who have one stage or another told me their undenying lust for me, we are still friends, but i am different to other girls. some girls get freaked out that their best male friend likes her, others dont mind, others have the same feelings and seize the opporunity.
so here, you do a bit of psychology and decide for yourself what to do and how she would react etc.
but ill leave you with this: its better to do regret doing something, than regret never doing it. (which is way true)

 

[spin spin sugar]

i think weve all been in this situation before, even if its not necassarily a best friend weve got a crush on... thats what makes this case worse.
buuuuut i think if shes your best friend, then you should be able to tell whether or not theres any mutual feelings... this is crucial... if youthink theres NO chance of possible mutual feelings i would advise keeping it to yourself unless it goes on for years and becomes unbearable.

 

[^CoSMic DoRiS^^]

...introduce this forum to her.. and let her stumble across this thread

yes, good idea! i seriously wouldnt tell her to her face, esp if u dont know what she feels for you. or maybe write her a letter, or you could just get one of ur other girl friends to ask her (WITHOUT letting on that you're the one who wants to know) who she likes. chances are if ur bestie is good enuf friends with the other chick, she'll be honest and then you can know whether to bring it up or not. as for ur guy mate, well, if u take the "getting other friend 2 find out 4 u" option, if she likes him, she'll say so. by the way has she ever indicated that she has feelings for you? like flirting, etc? that might give u a clue

 

[MouseMan]

just do it. u may regret it if you dont. the same happened with me. i fell for my best female friend at the same time as my best male friend did. he obviously had sussed her out, with some of the things he was telling me bout her, and so let me ask her. she said no, things went weird for about a month while i was trying to stop her and my best male friend getting together. but now i dont care, they seem to be made for each other and were back being the way we were.

 

[mr_brightside]

yeah i found myself really liking my friend (mates sister). im pretty sure she liked my ages ago though, but when i told her that i liked her she had a bf and didn't talk to me for 6 months, but gradually we became friends again.

so... thats what happened to me... your call