If your gf hooks up with another chick, is that considered cheating? (1 Viewer)

[my sharona]

would you feel the same way if your bitch went and kissed and touched a male purely for fun in front of you? probably not.

and what the fuck is this "purely for fun" shit? what if she sucked my cock just "purely for fun", would you approve that?

Do you trust your gf at all? Probably not.

a serious relationship, as i've already said, requires 100% dedication to each other, and obviously if she goes of and does that to another person just for fun, then she is not 100% into you, and if you only want to see ur girlfriend in some lesbian action, (because you only approve of her actions when you ARE watching right?), then you dont think much of her.

and the fact you used the term swinging only strengthens the fact that you and your girlfriend are not really into each other and are just around for fun.

My current relationship has been going for about 2.5 years. And you're implying swinging doesn't exist in a serious relationship. I'll tell you that you're wrong.
After 2.5 years, you start to get a little bored, you start to stray a little. If you want to have some fun, you want to have some fun. If this person is the first person you've ever had sex with, you'll probably want to experiment with other people . So don't even fucking try and tell me that "you and your bf are not really into each other".

my first post refered to couples that are serious about each other and want to get married, kids etc.. you wouldnt want the mother of your children kissing other women at parties right?

if you are comfortable with it, good on you.

You really have no idea.
There's a line which you can draw regarding what's acceptable and what's not acceptable in your relationship, but there is no way you should expect everyone else to have the same limits.

 

[0o0]

Do you trust your gf at all? Probably not.



My current relationship has been going for about 2.5 years. And you're implying swinging doesn't exist in a serious relationship. I'll tell you that you're wrong.
After 2.5 years, you start to get a little bored, you start to stray a little. If you want to have some fun, you want to have some fun. If this person is the first person you've ever had sex with, you'll probably want to experiment with other people . So don't even fucking try and tell me that "you and your bf are not really into each other".



You really have no idea.
There's a line which you can draw regarding what's acceptable and what's not acceptable in your relationship, but there is no way you should expect everyone else to have the same limits.

of course i trust my girlfriend. im just saying that if she ever experimented with other people, i wouldnt like it.

your relationship has only been going on for 3 years and ur already getting bored? you're begining to stray a little? you want to experiment with others? sorry, looks like you dont really care about each other and it probably wont last much longer. how is that relationship supposed to last for a few more decades into marriage if you're already getting bored after 3 years?? are you fucking stupid? do u sit there and expect me to believe that a serious relationship is one where the couple goes off and fuck others for fun because they're "bored" of each other? are you telling me that if your boyfriend fucked another woman because he was getting "bored" of you, you wont care? come on.

when did i "expect everyone else to have the same limits"?? thats just my personal opinion. for as long as im with my girlfriend, im not gonna experiment with others because i think its wrong, but if you think thats ok in your relationship, you go for it, frankly i dont give a shit what you do.

 

[samuelblayden]

no no no no

 

[my sharona]

your relationship has only been going on for 3 years and ur already getting bored? you're begining to stray a little? you want to experiment with others? sorry, looks like you dont really care about each other and it probably wont last much longer.

Sorry, looks like you know nothing about my relationships and how much I care. I don't think you're in any position to try and tell me that my relationship wont last 'much longer'... you don't understand the concept of trust i was getting to - my boyfriend trusts me to not go too far if i want to experiment with other guys or girls. He trusts that there's nothing going on behind his back, and i'm still emotionally devoted to him. Similarly, I trust him.
Wanna know why our relationship works? Because we trust each other.

how is that relationship supposed to last for a few more decades into marriage if you're already getting bored after 3 years?? are you fucking stupid?

For one, not ALL relationships are started with the intention of marriage.
While i'd like to hope that mine will, I resent your narrow-minded view.

And to answer your question- I think that it is healthy, its good for a relationship. If your gf has a bit of fun on the side, would you hold it against her? Going by your posts, i'd say so. Then where do you draw the line? Is it just physical? What if it's flirtation? What if she's thinking about it?

But i guess it's paranoia and suspicion from guys like you that give private investigators a job.

do u sit there and expect me to believe that a serious relationship is one where the couple goes off and fuck others for fun because they're "bored" of each other? are you telling me that if your boyfriend fucked another woman because he was getting "bored" of you, you wont care? come on.

If he was 'bored' of me, then we'd probably break up. If my bf wanted to experiment with sex, then i'd trust him to do that. I guess your idea of a 'serious relationship' is one where a male and a female get married and have babies. THAT is an increasingly stupid view to have.
'Cheating' isn't nearly as black and white as you think it is.

when did i "expect everyone else to have the same limits"?? thats just my personal opinion. for as long as im with my girlfriend, im not gonna experiment with others because i think its wrong, but if you think thats ok in your relationship, you go for it, frankly i dont give a shit what you do.

You expect people to have the same limits within a relationship that you have because clearly, you think relationships where people swing aren't "serious relationships" where people really care about each other.

While I respect your views and what you choose to do in your relationships, i find you very delluded and narrow minded.

 

[Serius]

I dont mind, but i would prefer it if the girls did it with me there. if that was the case it would probably be from my urging.

I guess its a good novelty, but usually i would prefer to be doing the kissing. thats where having mates who love to see girl on girl, and their girlfriend who doesnt mind comes into play, that way everyone can enjoy the show

 

[DanielleM]

Ah yes, chauvanism rears it's ugly head again. It's OK if it involves lesbianism, but not OK if it involves another guy.

Alcohol may be a deciding factor in each scenario.

how would you know?

 

[jumb]

And when it comes to lesbianism/homosexuality in general, most guys are chauvanists: girls are OK, guys aren't.

You mean "chauvinist"? Anyway, I agree with this.

 

[Skittled]

if you are serious ... cheating [is] unacceptable. the end.

if you seriously see yourself having a long term relationship with this woman, then you tell her to stop that shit right now.

That's a very extreme view you show all through your posts... If you're serious about your relationship it's probably not just 'the end'. If you're hurting, you either care about them and your relationship, or it's a pride issue. If it's a pride issue, sure, I could see how it's "the end". However, if you're as "serious" about your girl/guy as you're talking about, you probably put enough value on you and your relationship that it'd not be "the end": you'd put effort into holding it together and working out what went wrong. (regardless of what happens in the future).

I think your ideas are all mixed up.... unless you're letting your pride get in the way and you've mislabelled the jealousy and discomfort you'd feel if your girl got with someone. You're getting your pride mixed up with caring for her.

However, I agree with whiterabbit that cheating isn't black and white: it's much more subjective and dependent on people's experiences and feelings. The 'threshhold', so to speak, is much higher for you than it is for her

...obviously if she goes of and does that to another person just for fun, then she is not 100% into you.

She can be still... it's pretty natural, actually... I'll not repeat what I've just said in my 'why do people cheat?' post (here)

How old are you? How many relationships you've been in? How "serious" were they? I can understand your views, and even relate to a few, but IMO they're rather extreme, and a little underdeveloped...

 

[Korn]

That's a very extreme view you show all through your posts... If you're serious about your relationship it's probably not just 'the end'. If you're hurting, you either care about them and your relationship, or it's a pride issue. If it's a pride issue, sure, I could see how it's "the end". However, if you're as "serious" about your girl/guy as you're talking about, you probably put enough value on you and your relationship that it'd not be "the end": you'd put effort into holding it together and working out what went wrong. (regardless of what happens in the future).

I think your ideas are all mixed up.... unless you're letting your pride get in the way and you've mislabelled the jealousy and discomfort you'd feel if your girl got with someone. You're getting your pride mixed up with caring for her.

However, I agree with whiterabbit that cheating isn't black and white: it's much more subjective and dependent on people's experiences and feelings. The 'threshhold', so to speak, is much higher for you than it is for her

She can be still... it's pretty natural, actually... I'll not repeat what I've just said in my 'why do people cheat?' post (here)

How old are you? How many relationships you've been in? How "serious" were they? I can understand your views, and even relate to a few, but IMO they're rather extreme, and a little underdeveloped...

Look pplz you need to realise that alot of the time ppl DONT change, and once a cheat they will always be a cheat. How the hell can you have a relationship with someone you cant trust?

 

[jumb]

Look pplz you need to realise that alot of the time ppl DONT change, and once a cheat they will always be a cheat. How the hell can you have a relationship with someone you cant trust?

Yeah, if you keep going out with them, you show them that they got away with cheating.

 

[MaryJane]

Once a cheater, always a cheater?

I dont think so... The reason they cheated in the first place is because they were unhappy. Make them happy (which will make you happy), and they wont cheat.... Simplisitc view I know, but thats what I believe.

...unless they're a total slut. But then again, the way you probably got with them in the first place was when they were cheating on their ex with you!

 

[Skittled]

Look pplz you need to realise that alot of the time ppl DONT change, and once a cheat they will always be a cheat. How the hell can you have a relationship with someone you cant trust?

I don't quite know what you were quoting of me. Anyway, does that mean you wouldn't go out with someone --despite getting along fantastically and being mutually attracted to each other and, let's assume, the hypothetical 'perfect' person in all respects -- if they cheated on someone, before meeting you? (so, perfect in all respects bar that, because obviously your 'perfect' wouldn't cheat on anyone, but noone's 'perfect' really 100% exists, so for argument's sake let's ignore that whole problem and stick to the hypothetical above)

Yeah, if you keep going out with them, you show them that they got away with cheating.

So by letting them cheat on you, you feel you're less 'good'? Then, by not letting them cheat on you, you feel better? In my opinion that's protecting your pride, not your relationship... Of course, that's not a problem if you openly admit you're only in relationships because they boost your self-esteem. Otherwise, in my opinion, it doesn't hold together.

 

[Korn]

I don't quite know what you were quoting of me. Anyway, does that mean you wouldn't go out with someone --despite getting along fantastically and being mutually attracted to each other and, let's assume, the hypothetical 'perfect' person in all respects -- if they cheated on someone, before meeting you? (so, perfect in all respects bar that, because obviously your 'perfect' wouldn't cheat on anyone, but noone's 'perfect' really 100% exists, so for argument's sake let's ignore that whole problem and stick to the hypothetical above)



So by letting them cheat on you, you feel you're less 'good'? Then, by not letting them cheat on you, you feel better? In my opinion that's protecting your pride, not your relationship... Of course, that's not a problem if you openly admit you're only in relationships because they boost your self-esteem. Otherwise, in my opinion, it doesn't hold together.

No but i would be very cautious, & if they cheated on me then Fuck em'. Oh & dont talk to me about being niave about this shit I know what im on about (thats not aimed totally at u, so dont have a crap)

 

[0o0]

Sorry, looks like you know nothing about my relationships and how much I care. I don't think you're in any position to try and tell me that my relationship wont last 'much longer'... you don't understand the concept of trust i was getting to - my boyfriend trusts me to not go too far if i want to experiment with other guys or girls. He trusts that there's nothing going on behind his back, and i'm still emotionally devoted to him. Similarly, I trust him.
Wanna know why our relationship works? Because we trust each other..

firstly, what is going to far? if you say that its ok for you or your boyfriend to have sex with another person for experimentation puporses, i must ask, what is going too far? is sex purely a thing you do for fun and not reserve for the only person you love?

and what is this trust thing? so you say its ok for your boyfriend to have sex with another woman but you trust that he wont "go too far". trust in my relationship means trusting one another to not have sex with another person in the first place, trust in your relationship seems to mean that its ok for sex, but dont go to far??

do you mean that you wont fall emotionally attached to the other person your having sex with? well to me, sex is something ill only have with one person, thats just the way i see things.

For one, not ALL relationships are started with the intention of marriage.
While i'd like to hope that mine will, I resent your narrow-minded view.

as ive said before, i really dont give a shit what you do, my original post was MY personal opinion about MY relationship which does have the intention of marriage, i was not talking about you, or anyone else. seriously, i care about your relationship just about as much as you care about mine.

And to answer your question- I think that it is healthy, its good for a relationship. If your gf has a bit of fun on the side, would you hold it against her? Going by your posts, i'd say so. Then where do you draw the line? Is it just physical? What if it's flirtation? What if she's thinking about it?

i dont think its healthy for a relationship where the people have other relationships with others. if my girlfriend had some fun on the side, yes, i would hold it against her. and by fun i mean kissing/sex whatever. id certainly be upset if it was physical or flirtation. and i wouldnt know if she was thinking it.

But i guess it's paranoia and suspicion from guys like you that give private investigators a job.

im not paranoid nor am i suspicious, i love and trust my girlfriend, and i know she would never go out and have sex with another person, i wont do the same to her either. im 100% dedicated to her, and i believe she is to me as well, i have no worries that she will experiment with others. i never said i was suspicious so dont make shit up to back your argument.

If he was 'bored' of me, then we'd probably break up. If my bf wanted to experiment with sex, then i'd trust him to do that.

trust him to do what? have sex with another person because he wants to experiment?

I guess your idea of a 'serious relationship' is one where a male and a female get married and have babies.

no. my idea of a serious relationship is one where people DONT go off and have sex with other people. is that hard to comprehend?

THAT is an increasingly stupid view to have.
'Cheating' isn't nearly as black and white as you think it is.

to me it is, if i was to have sex with another person that is not my girlfriend, i am cheating. why is that so hard to understand?

You expect people to have the same limits within a relationship that you have because clearly, you think relationships where people swing aren't "serious relationships" where people really care about each other.

no i dont expect people to have the same limits. ill say it again, its my personal opinion based on my experiences. if you have different limits (which you do), i dont care.

While I respect your views and what you choose to do in your relationships, i find you very delluded and narrow minded.

thanks

 

[thejosiekiller]

really ppl everyone has different views and expectations out of a relationship

it doesnt make sense if everyone was the same in respect to your expectations and feelings for your partner

for every whiterabbit there is a 0o0...

 

[0o0]

That's a very extreme view you show all through your posts...

how is my view so extreme??? i just think its sex should be something that only a couple do with each other and not other people. yeah real extreme.

However, I agree with whiterabbit that cheating isn't black and white: it's much more subjective and dependent on people's experiences and feelings. The 'threshhold', so to speak, is much higher for you than it is for her

hmmm, ok. well cheating to me is if i was to have sex with another person while im with my girlfriend. i guess im a real weirdo now.

How old are you? How many relationships you've been in? How "serious" were they? I can understand your views, and even relate to a few, but IMO they're rather extreme, and a little underdeveloped...

im 21, ive been about 15 relationships, only 2 were serious. ive passed the whole stage where i would date one girl and get it down with another. im very serious about my current relationship, and i cant understand how not having sex with another person that isnt my girlfriend because i consdier it cheating so extreme or underdeveloped.

 

[Serius]

i think he is refering to the gf kissing another a girl thing, not gf sleeping with another boy thing

i guess if iwas in a serious relationship i wouldnt want my girl to have sex with any1 else either, it isnt exstreme, but i dant agree with your idea about gf kissing other girls, especially if its only for shits and giggles...however i understand your position and respect that

 

[ur_inner_child]

here's my opinion, if you want further reading than that lump of mass above this post....

about cheating in general, when you get cheated on, you question everything that you thought was certainty, like how much they love you, think about you, care about you, respect you etc. If the cheating individual can redeem this in the most sincere way, then the relationship has a good future?

for girls, how could you not forgive your partner for cheating if they've always refused to write letters, but came up one night, dressed to impress you, wrote you a poem, or something mushy like that, took you to a resturaunt, did all the things you've always wanted him to do and told you something like "i truly believe that you deserved so much more than what i did. i can't understand why i did it. i never thought i'd ever be the person to cause you so much pain, because i love you so much, and i only ever want to make you happy." etc etc. if your partner can redeem themselves, why not?

but this hardly ever happens, its rare. when someone cheats, even if they truly regret it, don't even try. they cry out "but i was drunk!" which doesn't redeem themselves. that's why its "not an excuse" because "i was drunk" says nothing about where you are in the relationship.

So often are we swept up with ourselves. If we insist on pride, and insist that it was the alcohol, or that it didn't mean anything, or any other meaningless excuse that says nothing about mending the uncertainty you've caused, then pride is what you will get in return, and you will inevitably get dumped.

 

[Serius]

i am a lump of mass? i feel hurt and betrayed...

 

[ur_inner_child]

hahaha, i actually meant the convo between OoO and whiterabbit

i hope my post gave you both middle ground?