im in a relationship atm and is *curious* (2 Viewers)

[my sharona]

Think of all the effort that a girl puts into going out, as opposed to what a guy does to prepare. Unless you're going to pay for all her clothes, i think it's fair.

Restaurants all the time is a worry though. Maybe hint at her that you would like a homemade dinner once in a while.

I'm so traditional it's tragic.

 

[Katie123]

it should be 50\50 ...but circumstances change. it was my bf didnt have a job for HSC but i did..i quit my job now for uni (mistake!!!) he has a full time job. but i still like to make it as even as i can ...whenever i can

 

[wanton-wonton]

well i have been going out with this girl for 3 1/2 months now.

im just wondering do guys always pay for everything? like we see each other maybe 1 to 3 times max a week and i pay for everything, like movies, food , going out etc.. im in uni atm and i work part time and i know she has HSC and doesnt earn income and all.

im not worried about why i pay and this as i am not stingy

but im just curious for other's ppls relationships and experiences as this is my first relationship with a girl

if guys always pay for everything? or whats the deal? pay for self ?

like u know i cant 100% be sure she likes me u kno , as we havent been going out for that long , like is she going out with me for my money??

coz u kno wouldnt u feel some guilt at all? the guy paying for everything everytime

thanks for the help guys and girls much appreciated

No, you shouldn't pay her for everything. I think she's just using you.

 

[Frigid]

Think of all the effort that a girl puts into going out, as opposed to what a guy does to prepare. Unless you're going to pay for all her clothes, i think it's fair.

i doubt a girl buys new clothes every single time she goes on a date (if i'm wrong, please excuse my ignorance and remind me to carry a cheque-book the next time i date).

so i don't think paying for clothes justifies the guy having to pay for everything else (not that we do mind seeing you naked, of course).

besides, my view is that we shouldn't see contribution as a ratio. as long as there is sufficient contribution (economically or otherwise), it doesn't have to be adequate.

 

[iambored]

dude, you should really do something about it. $200 a week is a LOT to be paying on a girl you have just started seeing. I am shocked she hasn't offered to pay for anything. Or even mentioned her inability to pay. I see she doesn't have a job, but how does she buy her clothes? Is she worried about not having a job or does she take money from her parents at any time? If she takes money from her parents she should at least have offered to pay once. If she complains about not having a job and being poor then I think she'll start the 50/50 business when she can afford it. Work out her situation and work out if she's being cheap or reasonable.

Should be 50/50, but needs ti account for the varied wages and ability to pay.
Say one of you earn $80k a year the other earns $20k a year. Is it fair that the person earing $20k a year is forking out a higher proportion of their income?

from my position i still think in that situation is should be as close to 50 50 as possible. it all depends on how many times you go out but it would seem slack making the other person pay more just because they earn more.


girls paying for clothes has nothing to do with the guy paying for meals. it's her choice to buy new clothes.

I think it should be 50/50. Don't split every bill, but one person pays one day and the other on the other day

 

[OZGIRL86]

well i have been going out with this girl for 3 1/2 months now.

im just wondering do guys always pay for everything? like we see each other maybe 1 to 3 times max a week and i pay for everything, like movies, food , going out etc.. im in uni atm and i work part time and i know she has HSC and doesnt earn income and all.

im not worried about why i pay and this as i am not stingy

but im just curious for other's ppls relationships and experiences as this is my first relationship with a girl

if guys always pay for everything? or whats the deal? pay for self ?

like u know i cant 100% be sure she likes me u kno , as we havent been going out for that long , like is she going out with me for my money??

coz u kno wouldnt u feel some guilt at all? the guy paying for everything everytime

thanks for the help guys and girls much appreciated

hmm I definately don't expect a guy to pay all the time.
I'd rather split the bill, pay our own way, or have turns of paying-one time I pay, then next time he pays.

 

[iamsickofyear12]

If she doesn't have a job, you really can't expect her to pay for anything because she doesn't have any money. But if you are spending $200 of the $350 you make on going out with her then you should find something cheaper to do.

 

[Tuggi3]

u dont have to have expensive dinners everytime you go out.... I'm sure there are other things you can do.

my boyfriends a bit of a traditionalist and doesn't really let me pay for stuff unless he's flat broke. Then again I don't work and I just survive on youth allowance and he has a full time job and makes a LOT more then I do.... but i still try and make him stop wasting his money lol

But I try and make up for it by buying him little things or offering to pay for some things. Some times he lets me, other times he doesn't.

 

[Korn]

I forgot, the person who arranges the date is usually meant to pay, so get her to arrange one

 

[Korn]

hang on $250 a week, fuck, dude ur being ripped off, are you getting anythin in return???



you could probably find a cheaper prostitute

 

[glitter burns]

I think you should talk to her about it, it doesn't sound fair. Tell her if she doesn't like cheap food then she shall have to help pay for her expensive stuff.

Maybe it's just me, but I hate when the guy pays all the time, I feel so uncomfortable, and whenever he insists on paying then I try to make it up to him at least a little by paying for the ice cream or something later.

 

[babydoll~*]

hmmm, fifty fifty doesnt always work out if you go out with someone younger then yourself.. You hold the responsibility of I guess, being the one in charge, including financially, because it would be more likely that you have a job =]

 

[Loz#1]

My boyfriend pays for alot and he doesn't mind, but at the moment I'm unemployed so I try to chip in where I can.

 

[funniboi]

money can't buy love.


having said that, i feel that you're a very considerate guy, knowing that she doesn't have a job, so paying for her is reasonable. BUT, her not wanting to eat takeaway food, and always wanting resturaunts isn't good. explain it to her like others have said because you obviously is giong through a struggle, borrowing money from friends to please her, i'm sure she would understand, if she's not a bitchy type of girl, it would be smooth. but if she says someshit like, "why cant you pay for me, you have a job i don't you fucken cheapskate" , i recommend you think twice if this is really the person you want to go out with!

haha, eventually, you'll get something in return for good deeds, cause what goes around, comes around.

afterall, money is hard to get, but easy to lose..

 

[babydoll~*]

nicely put =)

 

[SuGa BunI =D]

ahhh the good ol' gold digger type of girl.. congrat to her for having a tolerantabe type of bf lk u
you pay for foods wif money, she’s payingback via your errhemmm personal pleasure?

 

[Emily.]

wen i was with my bf we id feel bad if he shouted me so we took turns

it all evens out in the end

 

[waterbottle]

it doesn't bother me at all. my boyfriend and i pay for whatever, whoever has the closest money or whoever isn't broke at the time. the first time we ever went out i paid for his stuff but he's paid for a lot of my stuff too.

if she doesn't have a job she should ask her parents for an allowance. i'm doing the hsc and i don't have a job but i still need money to be able to go out and buy stuff, that's the money i use when i'm with my boyfriend.

 

[*ashlea*]

if she doesnt have any source of income then u cant really expect her to pay 4 heaps of stuff, but she also shouldnt be asking u to pay for anything.. like she's not allowed to ask u to buy her stuff, but u can offer if u want.. when u take her out u pay, but if she wants u to go somewhere with her, its not your responsibility to pay 4 both of u.. she should also invite u to do stuff which doesnt cost money, or at least not much, rather than expecting u to fork out to go out with her all the time.. like she could hire a movie and watch it at home once in a while, rather than u pay to go see one at the cinema..
in return 4 u supporting her financially, she should be willing to help u out with other stuff, like if u have chores to do she should help, or she could cook dinner if u would have to do it otherwise, stuff like that.. to return the favour you're doing her..
it's only fair..

 

[Skeeta]

yeah theres a difference between being shouted dinner and expecting that you will be paid for. Ive ben in the same relationship for about 3 years, i think he paid for the first date, but after that it was pretty much 50/50. Its also nicer (i think... and easier) rather than splitting each dates costs in half, i'll pay one day and he'll pay the other (not that we really keep count)

however there are periods when one (or both of us) are strapped for cash. During the HSC we both had limited income, and rather than going out to a nice restaurant, we'd get $5-$10 fish and chips and sit on the beach or somethin. Not every dates gotta cost alot!!

I mean theres been times when he's havin money troubles and i've thrown $100 bucks his way, but hes done the same for me. We're not married or anythin but theres gotta be a balance