Losing a loved one (1 Viewer)

[bubz :D]

i agree with you, johnson....


when my aunty died from cancer last year, i was absolutely distraught, and what made it worse was that i couldn't do a thing to help, because they live overseas.... all of us'd sent money over to help with the treatment, but i still felt helpless. even though i'd only met her twice but she was a beautiful person with two young daughters and a hard-working husband... it was a very similar scenario to my family's, except that my mum died very suddenly and my sister and i weren't as young.

i recently went back to HK, and at first i didn't want to but eventually i went with other close friends to cami's grave.... she committed suicide july last year. as soon as we put the flowers down, the three of us just bawled our eyes out and hugged for the next hour. it was so hard to let go, the fact that i regret so many things, the guilt that i feel, for not being able to be there for her when she was struggling.... arrrrrgh234123841q.

 

[*~Dazed~*]

whenever i had an auntie, uncle or grandparent die, i felt nothing. As heartless as that sounds, i just couldnt bring myself to be upset, and that is what upset me. Reason being, all my family live overseas so i hadnt met most of the ones that have passed away, and then the few i had, it was only a couple of times and its really difficult to be upset and mourn over someone who you didnt know, even though i do it in tv shows, movies, news etc. It is an odd feeling knowing that they are family and that you should feel something.

 

[ramin_87]

soha nice poem . GOD bless you all ! Remember that GOD and JESUS are up ther loking after you're loved ones. Always remember that. Again GOD bless you.

 

[a little lost]

my grandpa my mum's dad died during my yr 12 stuvac. i remembered how shocked i was my grandpa had lived with my my family for like 9 yrs and he spend a lot of that time bringing up my sister and i while my parents were at work.
it was just soo sudden like on the first day of stuvac my dad came into my room asking if i could take some time out to go to china with my mum. i was totally confused because it was stuvac time and i would have thought that my parents would be expecting me to trying to concentrate and study hard.

i asked my dad why and he said that my grandpa had died and he wanted me to accompany my mum. although i had never gotten along too well with my grandpa after a while when he returned to china to live i had made the effort to be nice to him whenever i went back to china, and my mum had only spoken to him a few days before that. apparently he had woken up one night wanting to go to the toilet and slipped when he got off the bed and fell and cracked his neck. its frightening how fragile human life is.

it was a very emotional time for everyone the instant we walked into the unit where my grandpa and step grandma were living there was a photo of my grandpa there and my mum just walked up to the photo and feel to her knees and started crying i was totally shocked the funeral was very emotional as well and most of the adults that were there were crying it was soo wierd. even my relatives from hk i'd never seen them cry before.

i was on the verge of crying myself but stopped myself from doing so what comforts me the most is that i was there for my mum when she needed me the most and i did go through the grieving period except i didn't burst out into tears.

and now my grandma is really ill and likely to die soon and i really don't know how i'm going to deal with it.

but being able to grieve in whatever way makes u feel better is really important.

 

[Danoz The Great]

I've lost both my Grandfather and one of my best friends during april 2004.


I lost my friend in April last year - we had always known each other (our folks are friends) - but we became really good friends when we went to high school together. We did Self Defence classes together too, up until a couple of months before she was diagnosed. She was diagnosed with lymphoma in september 2003, and was expected to come back to school start of 2004, but a lump was found on her liver, and she needed a bone marrow transplant. Unfortunately it didn't work. (They have a pretty slim success rate with lymphoma patients.)
She was a great friend to EVERYONE- so nice, had no enemies, and you could talk to her about anything. She was really smart and talented too.

It was especially hard on one of my best friends, Kate. She was one of Tahli's best friends, since Kindy. She was in Vietnam on holiday when Tahli died, and we couldn't get in contact with her. She arrived back home, the day after the funeral.
She took it worse and it was so sad.
But I think it's strengthened our friendship.

There was a play written by a friend of the family that we starred in also - along with a few other good friends. Kate played a girl called Angel - the main star of the play, whose character had the same wonderful qualities as Tahli. It wasn't about Tahli, or her illness. But it was about a girl passing away (through a car accident) and following her friends, who realise that she held the group together, and it just wouldn't be the same without her. Just like we thought of Tahli.
We could all relate to it. It was really good like that.
Unfortunately the play couldn't happen - but I think it was for the best anyway. I don't think Tahli's family were ready for it.

Exactly two weeks after Tahli died, my grandfather passed away. He had been sick since I can remember. He had angina, a severe blood infection that just wouldn't go away, and Huntington's disease (your brain practically eats away).
He had really deteriorated the six months before he died. He was at the point where he couldn't remember what had happened 2 hours before.
However, it was sort of a blessing because:
* He would've gone to a nursing home - if he got out of hospital (which, by then, was a really slim chance)
* He would've gotten his leg amputated in that next week after he died, and, as you can imagine, that'd be a huge shock, especially when you lose your memory very easily.
* He died of a sudden heart attack - he didn't suffer like he would've
* He wanted to die anyway, he'd had enough, he knew he wasn't remembering anything, and that he was very sick.

 

[Serius]

Raiks man, iam really sorry for your loss,
just reading about it made me sick to my stomach and i admit brought tears to my eyes in the few years ive lived, i havent found something worse than losing your soulmate at such a young age

the people losing their best friends... thats pretty hard aswell, no1 should ever have to die at such a young age

the only 2 losses i have suffered are my grandparents, my grandpa and granddad [ i.e my mum's father and my dad's father] my grandad lived with us and oneday he fell into a coma and didnt wake up, i was pretty sad but i didnt understand death then, i thought he was coming back, when grandpa died i was in yr7 [ like the second day actually, sometimes i like to think he held on to see me make it to highschool] and the pain hit pretty hard, i realised wat happend this time and tho we all knew he was dieing from cancer suddenly he just wasnt there anymore

it still hurts sometimes but i love them both
still, nothing compared to the losses u guys have had


still, nothing

 

[JGreenwood]

I am the same as dazed. its just not my fault, I miss them but don't mourn or anything.