Marriage + Uni (1 Viewer)

[Calculon]

I plan to murder the rest of the committee so I can make the Union recorder a right wing publication.

 

[stazi]

I was just wondering, if people in uni were 100 percent sure that they had found the right person for them, would they consider getting married during or after uni straightaway? Or something like 4 years after graduating?
I always used to think that 3 or 4 years after uni is the best time to deal with that kind of stuff, but since my relationship, i've been having second thoughts.
Do you think that marriage will get in the way of education? Even if you don't have kids etc?

I would sit in a corner, listen to a lot of bright eyes. exclaim 'shit. im scared'. and move to Mozambique

 

[Calculon]

I personally wouldn't get married during uni, I'd wait until at least a few years afterwards so I could afford a house etc.

 

[tempco]

there's nothing wrong with marriage during uni in my books.

 

[zahid]

r u kiding or being serious?
coz if ur joking then lol
if u seriously forgot..then im insulted

lol..ofcourse i was joking soha...thats why i added that (hehe) bit at the end....no need to be insulted ...as if i would forget.

 

[santaslayer]

I'd marry whenever the time feels right. It wouldn't woory me coz I'm living off the woman.

 

[MaryJane]

I'm with santaslayer, generally. But I am pretty sure I wouldnt get married during uni; I'd prefer to do it afterwards, probably a year or something into working in the "real world" to see how we go as a couple because a lot can change. I would like to be engaged before the end of uni (hint hint ), but even then, its only a desire, not a I'll-stick-a-gun-to-your-head demand.

Actually, I think I'm more of an engagement girl, I dont ever dream of my wedding day, but rather on the actual engagement.

And anyway, if you are supposed to be together, I cant see how a little wait will damage a relationship; it will only grow stronger. But stories like Soma's are just gorgeous!

 

[MaryJane]

That was low. Dropping hints on an internet forum ... it's just low.

I wouldnt call it low, I'd call it desperate ... But either way, it will get the message across!

Hypothetically, you could find out your partner's darkest secrets if you put it off and end up breaking your heart, whereas if you got married you'd never know and live happily ever after though there might be one or two odd moments where those dark secrets almost stop being secret.

I totally agree, I just didnt want to jade the kiddies' views on marriage and such things.

p.s. There may be a chance of you not being married if you keep up the super grocer life-style. Havent you seen the movies? They all have to forfeit their power to live happily ever after... So, the power is in your hands, as Captain Planet would say.

 

[AsyLum]

MJ: Its soha dear was wondering where Soma had come into it

And poor Skittled Hints on the BoS forum ! haha *notes to self: propose in NS*

 

[MaryJane]

Ta Asy, bloody Brave New World!!

*Soha.

And I'm pretty sure Steve is aware of my thoughts... I hope so, or he's in for a shock!

We were planning on broadcasting our wedding in L&R, with pics in NS

 

[AsyLum]

ooooh! and like webcam!

Ill round up the media students, we're in for a royal wedding!

 

[sly fly]

my sister met her husband at university
they were both first year students(she was 19 he was 18)
he was the presidant of the islamic association
and she was the vice presidant
they met ,fell in love, and got married at the beginning of second year
they moved in together..went to uni together..worked part time and got on with their lives
they are bothe still studying and working and have been happily married for 1 year and a half now
i thought it was great

aww that is so cute. Insha'Allah their life together is full of love and happiness. Let us know when you become an aunty!

 

[loquasagacious]

I would suggest that the level of commitment generally involved in marriage is not a great combination with uni. On the other hand moving out/in with a partner during uni can be a great way to get to know them and decide whether or not there is a viable prospect there. In that vein uni is not really a place to get tied down it is a place to really see whats out there and marriage would pretty much stuff that up....

Oh and as an as yet unsuggested reason for holding off till after uni: You want to get good wedding presents? Then you need friends who earn abit more than Youth Allowance so waiting till you all graduate is a good idea. You want a good honeymoon? (eg overseas as opposed to uni bar) then you need money, which you dont see till after graduating. So wait so that you (and your friends) can afford a kickarse wedding...

 

[bscienceboi]

wtf wtf
who are u to assume that its unwise?
they were engaged 6 months
and they are doing fine
they are both happy and such a cute couple

its like a b/f g/f relationship
pretend they have been dating 6 months and decide to move intogether
is that unwise?.....their marriage is beautiful

Marriage and love is like an endurance run. It's not just based on the fact that you may be infactuated or believe that within a short period you have found your perfect partner but rather how long you can hold out the relationship for. Marriage isn't a thing to mess with, once mariied your really obliging to a contract that says for the next 50 or so years you are to be together. Then of course you can divorce and its no big deal but really it shows that its more an act of desperation than realisation.

You can't learn everything there is to know about your partner in 1 year. On another thread someone stated that after awhile you pass the barrier where the communication between two people slowly diminish. 1 Year doesnt give you that oppurtunity to find balance. If it is like a bf/gf relationship and they decide to move together then so be it, but marriage is definately a new step. Most couples do move in after awhile so that they can experience what it is like and how their relationship copes but skipping that process and jumping onto the alter is a big leap. Whats there to really say that your not actually making a blind decision.

If they have only been engaged 6 months, how can you possibly judge how well they are getting along especially when the duration of their dating period exceeds their time as a married couple. So referring back to your question, yes it is unwise and although they may live happily ever after, it really isnt a mature way for anybody to follow.

Like MJ said: If you are supposed to be together, I cant see how a little wait will damage a relationship; it will only grow stronger.

Why play the Hail Mary when you have time to plan and strategise your future. You can't see your future, but only experience what may be of it.

 

[AsyLum]

On the same thing, i dont know why you should be telling them off for something theyre obviously happy with. You havent been married nor have you the right to judge people based on time.

Its not a fucking rule, its a generalisation.

 

[bscienceboi]

On the same thing, i dont know why you should be telling them off for something theyre obviously happy with. You havent been married nor have you the right to judge people based on time.

Its not a fucking rule, its a generalisation.

When was I ever telling them off?

She asked for our opinions and this is mine. If i have to be married to express myself then that is nonsense. Nor did I judge them for their decision (but only on the decision itself).

Plus who says I havent been married.

 

[AsyLum]

Nor did I judge them for their decision (but only on the decision itself).

What the fuck?

(Your decision as consenting adults who are in love wishing to make a commitment solid is "unwise no matter the outcome") isnt judging them?

Pfft.

 

[rink]

I agree with bscienceboi in that GENERALLY it isn't the best idea to get married after you've known someone for 6months. However, every situation is different and people are different in terms of their ability to judge others etc. Therefore, since they are married and are happy then I say good for them.

 

[SuGa BunI =D]

marriage and uni? why not?? DO IT!!
divorce exist

 

[bscienceboi]

What the fuck?

(Your decision as consenting adults who are in love wishing to make a commitment solid is "unwise no matter the outcome") isnt judging them?

Pfft.

An unwise choice doesnt reflect them to be unwise people.