My creative writing peace for Paper 1. Thoughts? (1 Viewer)

mupzbra

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Hey guiz
Dis is me paper 1 story about belonging, wat do u guiz think? could i get 10+? i need to get a band 5 and i do adv. I put heapz of assonance, similiez and other shit me teacher told me to put, but this is all i can remember, the last part of it. Cheers cunts.

I'm asleep and in a dream. Me and da boiz r just walking home from da pie shop after a few cones in the shack down da bush were the butterflies and birds bounced bubbly. As we walking home so gronk cunt comez up to us and starts mouth off like some wanker. So anyways, i split this cunt above the brow and rich, ruby, red blood pours out his cut as da lil bitch starts screaming like a drownin kitten.

Then i remembered this one time me and da boiz stomped some azns heads in from Ruse coz they looked at us wrong and them i faught to me self.

This shack. Smoking Billies.

This is were i belonged.
 

noworriez1

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Hey guiz
Dis is me paper 1 story about belonging, wat do u guiz think? could i get 10+? i need to get a band 5 and i do adv. I put heapz of assonance, similiez and other shit me teacher told me to put, but this is all i can remember, the last part of it. Cheers cunts.

I'm asleep and in a dream. Me and da boiz r just walking home from da pie shop after a few cones in the shack down da bush were the butterflies and birds bounced bubbly. As we walking home so gronk cunt comez up to us and starts mouth off like some wanker. So anyways, i split this cunt above the brow and rich, ruby, red blood pours out his cut as da lil bitch starts screaming like a drownin kitten.

Then i remembered this one time me and da boiz stomped some azns heads in from Ruse coz they looked at us wrong and them i faught to me self.

This shack. Smoking Billies.

This is were i belonged.
definite 15 brah

the markers definitely were thinkng

"fark, this boiz got it.. hey brahz cum n chek thiz shitt out.. this boiz da 1 brah"

100%
 

Skriker

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definite 15 brah

the markers definitely were thinkng

"fark, this boiz got it.. hey brahz cum n chek thiz shitt out.. this boiz da 1 brah"

100%
This guy is totally going to stop the state!
 

noworriez1

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This guy is totally going to stop the state!
yeh men

they rz gonna be all likez

"farkin fark.. wot r we all lyk dooin readin these utha nobs brah? dis is da 1, fuck da rest"

true story
 

Skriker

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yeh men

they rz gonna be all likez

"farkin fark.. wot r we all lyk dooin readin these utha nobs brah? dis is da 1, fuck da rest"

true story
HAHAHA
The markers are going to "Fark, who is this troll, he rips up everyone else with his use of colloquial language..........FARK!"
 

mupzbra

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yeh men

they rz gonna be all likez

"farkin fark.. wot r we all lyk dooin readin these utha nobs brah? dis is da 1, fuck da rest"

true story
Thanks :) do ya fink i could be one of the published onez that they send to schoolz if it is gud?
 

noworriez1

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Thanks :) do ya fink i could be one of the published onez that they send to schoolz if it is gud?
nah m8

it will be da 1 pubalished 2 tha countri m8

be on bookstands and everything brah
 
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men you prob get 14-15 in me opinion, you're engrish iz top gun bra. u do ext 2 engrish too ye? u fkin badess!
 

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