My friend wants to drop out... (1 Viewer)

[longtusk]

And I don't know what to say to her. I'm really worried cos we go to a selective school and me and her have always been below average (consistently :0) but lately her marks have been getting worse and worse cos she's completely lost motivation and she feels like she's the 'only dumb person in the whole grade.'

For her trials she's gotten quite a few 50s, 60s, and highest mark is probably in the 70s somewhere.

I don't think she should drop out but I don't know what to do... her parents keep telling her she's not going to even get her HSC and that without it she won't even be able to get some crap job like a secretary or something so she's feeling really down about it.

If anyone has any advice I'd be really appreciative :worried:

 

[Testpilot]

Tell her that there is two months and to hang in there.

EDIT:Nobody cares about the HSC after a uni/tafe course or work experience is completed.

 

[gaoOO]

try and get through to her parents that coming say 100th in a selective school does NOT mean that's she's dumb and going to fail.

 

[tanjin]

If she's really set on dropping out, then just let her. It may turn out to be a very good decision.

But i'd have to agree with gaoOO and testpilot - there's less than 2 months to go. Even if she doesn't get the results she and her parents expected - it wont mean a thing...HSC isn't the end of the world. If she drops out now - what will she do for the rest of the year?

 

[Season]

This is how I see it, 13 FREAKING YEARS OF PAIN THEY'VE PUT ME THROUGH! GOD DAMNIT IF I'LL LEAVE WITHOUT A GOD DAMN CERTIFICATE!

not that i'm pissed at the schooling system or anything...

Look its her reasons for dropping out are obviously not to do with a lack of desire to finish school, she is smart enough to get into a selective school thus she has desire to work hard and do something with herself. What has got her down is being surrounded by perfectionists... admittedly can eat at everyone, especially with reinforcements like rankings.

I'd suggest that you take her to talk with the school counsellor about her mental and academic states and her reasons for leaving. Also advise her not to listen to her parents... they obviously have no idea.

 

[tanjin]

This is how I see it, 13 FREAKING YEARS OF PAIN THEY'VE PUT ME THROUGH! GOD DAMNIT IF I'LL LEAVE WITHOUT A GOD DAMN CERTIFICATE!

not that i'm pissed at the schooling system or anything...

Look its her reasons for dropping out are obviously not to do with a lack of desire to finish school, she is smart enough to get into a selective school thus she has desire to work hard and do something with herself. What has got her down is being surrounded by perfectionists... admittedly can eat at everyone, especially with reinforcements like rankings.

I'd suggest that you take her to talk with the school counsellor about her mental and academic states and her reasons for leaving. Also advise her not to listen to her parents... they obviously have no idea.

Most school counsellors don't either.

 

[riss123]

not everyone is made for the HSC alright.
I know the feeling of not doing well, and i know im probably not going to get the results i WANT and NEED. But, if i drop out now... its just a waste of time.
Just tell her to do as much as she can, do the best that she can, and get the exams over and done with.
If her results arent very good, then it doesnt matter.
University isn't for everyone, and not everyone is going to get in.
There are other pathways, such as tafe.
Tafe offers a range of subject/career choices, which some will cross over into uni.

tell her shes not alone in the state.
and... its not to late to start studying really, she still has time between now and the exams, and like a teacher told me the other day, the only way is up, you will only excel from this point on.

The HSC isnt the end all and be all of things.
There is way to much pressure placed upon it.

 

[Sofstar]

We have about 1 month of school and 1 month-ish of exams left. We're almost finished! She can't give up now.

Plus, she goes to a selective school, which means she must be pretty good and there are another few thousand of us not just the students in the school.

Or maybe she needs a break. Plan a day out?

 

[tanjin]

Even if both your ranks are low, considering you're in a selective - your average would be better than many students throughout the state.

 

[goosiegoo]

Just tell her that rather than throwing away all the work she has done, she should just finish the hsc - even if she doesn't try hard and doesn't study - cos that way at least she will have a hsc!

 

[Sprinkles~]

My advice would be don't pressure her, and don't tell her what you think she "should" do. She's obviously already feeling really pressured and discouraged, and being pushed too much could make her want to do just the opposite of what everyone wants.

She might not be serious about dropping out, even if it sounds like she is. She could just be reallyy sick of it and down about her marks but wouldnt actually go through with it? Whatever she decides it needs to be her decision, all you can really do is listen and tell her to make sure she's thought it through and isnt making any irrational decisions.

 

[Gimlian]

Maybe tell her you'll support her regardless of her decision, that might help ease the pressure a bit.

 

[kewlu]

Maybe tell her you'll support her regardless of her decision, that might help ease the pressure a bit.

That'll make her drop out. The girl needs to know where she stands.

Quoting Government ads ftw.

 

[kloudsurfer]

I agree that the HSC isnt everyones thing. Even if thats true about her, shes gotten this far so she might as well finish it.

Anyway, it sounds to me like this isnt just about staying or dropping out. She seems to have a lot of underlying issues eg loss of motivation, her parents attitudes etc.

Dont try to convince her to stay/drop out. Help her get to the bottom of these underlying issues.

I agree with the suggestion to get her to see the school counsellor to help her work everything out.

 

[kewlu]

I agree that the HSC isnt everyones thing. Even if thats true about her, shes gotten this far so she might as well finish it.

Anyway, it sounds to me like this isnt just about staying or dropping out. She seems to have a lot of underlying issues eg loss of motivation, her parents attitudes etc.

Dont try to convince her to stay/drop out. Help her get to the bottom of these underlying issues.

I agree with the suggestion to get her to see the school counsellor to help her work everything out.

HOLY CRAP. DID YOU DROP EE2?

Please tell me you didn't.

 

[FromDeeEast]

also keep in mind that the trails are suppose to be harder then the actual hsc

 

[kloudsurfer]

HOLY CRAP. DID YOU DROP EE2?

Please tell me you didn't.

...maybe...

...please dont hurt me!!!!

 

[kewlu]

...maybe...

...please dont hurt me!!!!

But.... but.... but....



You're so smart though.

 

[kloudsurfer]

But.... but.... but....



You're so smart though.

Anyway, I just basically had no motivation for it all year. I chose it because i love creative writing, but I guess i cant do it if forced to. I knew all year that i wanted to drop it but people kept convincing me not to, but eventually i just said 'screw everyone else' im dropping it!

Anyway, by the start of the term i had only written about 1700 words that were remotely cohesive and i knew that i wouldnt have been able to produce something of good enough quality to get decent marks, so i knew it wouldnt count in my UAI so instead of stressing and spending lots of time on it I decided to just drop it like i should have ages ago...

And what gives you the impression that im smart? lol

 

[Hallatia]

just about everyone in my school has wanted to either, drop put or transfer at some point this year, the school always seemed to manage to stop them however, I wanted to transfer but the principal made me feel really guilty about it and often I just regret not tranferring