My half yearly english story incorporating belonging (or the lack of it). (1 Viewer)

[Miz Janani]

Hey peeps,

I'm just uploading the story that i used in my halfies.. Could you please read it and tell me how you think i could improve it.

I got 12/15 for it..

Thanx, xox

 

[ghostman_on_3rd]

I like your wordings lol, found some techniques you added =p
Maybe you need to expand your idea of belonging, make it bit bigger? i dont know.
go ask your teacher lol best reply you can get.