Smurg
Fookin' Hell
It’s been rather bizarre lately. First off, I've kissed her and all of that...wow...big deal. She was a girl I hadn't spoken to in 6 years...until we met seemingly randomly. I said we should catch up sometime and I got her number. The following Friday I was invited to her house...all in all we both got drunk that night and we made-out and all that shit. That night she invited me to a party that would be on the night following. Practically the same thing happened, made out on the backseat of my car etc. Wow! The the night following was more mellow when we were both sober...it works out like that. 
We got along really well it seemed...and had a fair bit in common and all the rest of that shit, we kept in contact, via MSN, e-mail, mobile phone messages and face to face for about two weeks straight. Somewhere along the line I realised that I liked her, this was strange to me...as it hadn't really happened much in the past...if at all. So I was freaked out and didn't know what to do. So basically one night I got a little tipsy/drunk and felt more enamoured to call her and tell her how I felt. I kept saying "I have something to tell you...but it's hard...because I don't know...something..." The 'something' I was referring to was if she liked this other guy...I didn't want to tell her I liked her...I was in a bit of a situation...she didn't want to hear it...she didn't want to hear that I liked her. I found out later from her best friend that she really liked me...and that me telling her I liked her took something away from it, made it less interesting...something bizarre like that.
Anyhow, despite that mistake...of sorts...she took it fairly well...but during the next week (away at my 'schoolies' Partyweek’ in Queensland with my friends...and 20,000 other schoolies.) I was staying with my friends...and she happened to be up there at the same time...well it's not that big a co-incidence as the majority of people hire out resorts/hotels in Surfer’s Paradise up on Queensland’s Gold Coast. So basically I met up with her a few times…but due to the nature of the party week it involved a lot of alcohol. So basically the truth comes out when you are drunk…or at least in my experience…she came up to me and said “I’m sorry I don’t like you more than a friend, I don’t know why…but I don’t…I’m sorry.” She then proceeded to hug and kiss me numerous times. Then she proceeded to the dance floor to dirty-dance and make-out with half a dozen or more males in the space of the evening. Basically it seemed…that whatever I had done in the past…i.e. my phone call revealing my feelings for her…had created some kind of barrier around me…meaning that because of that…I could never be anything more than a friend to her. Since she was hooking up with random people…of every size, shape and whatever it seemed that I was truly out of the circle.
Now that we’re all recovered and stuff…we’ve just been swapping novella sized e-mails whilst she’s at work and all that, basically I’ve told her the clichéd “let’s be friends for now it seems right”. Just yesterday…she called me up and said “Hey let’s go see a movie…I really want to see Harry Potter!” so the both of us went to see the movie…
Even though it was inherent in my mind we were going as friends…I still had a curiosity…was this truly just as friends? We get along just fine, and I love being friends…we make each other laugh and share a lot of the same taste in humour and just generic shit that obviously made me connect with her and start to develop a crush on her in the first place. >.<
Ok…so we shared a drink with two straws? Wtf am I inside a movie or something? Well I literally was inside a movie theatre…but I mean…this is playing out strangely. I acted fairly normally during the movie and since there is this apprehension in me to try to start putting my arm on her…or let her rest my head on my shoulder or whatever, it makes it hard to know what to do. I don’t know if she’d want that…even just as a friend or whatever.
Now…tonight she asked if she could come over and watch a movie at my house…it was on my computer in my room…so lights went out, movie was on…and my bed is directly opposite the computer…so she lay down on the bed…and then I was just sitting there in my chair…and she’s like “Come on! Lie down here next to me.” So I was like…hmm ok. If body language is an indicator of anything then it was fairly decent…except when the calls started coming. It was the guy she likes…or he likes her…or they both like each other. She said “Oh I’m not answering it” but then after it stopped ringing…it rang about 4 times on different occasions…I’m thinking they have nightly phone calls. That changed my mood marginally…oh well I’ll see how it unfolds.
Update: Badly, because I don’t like her anymore. Nice!
- Smurg
P.S.
Ok, this is the first girl I've ever liked in my life. It ended like shit. Thing is I have like no feeling to this whatsoever. Now I am so ready to find another girl to develop a crush on. Hopefully it will result in mutual likeageship.
^_^
We got along really well it seemed...and had a fair bit in common and all the rest of that shit, we kept in contact, via MSN, e-mail, mobile phone messages and face to face for about two weeks straight. Somewhere along the line I realised that I liked her, this was strange to me...as it hadn't really happened much in the past...if at all. So I was freaked out and didn't know what to do. So basically one night I got a little tipsy/drunk and felt more enamoured to call her and tell her how I felt. I kept saying "I have something to tell you...but it's hard...because I don't know...something..." The 'something' I was referring to was if she liked this other guy...I didn't want to tell her I liked her...I was in a bit of a situation...she didn't want to hear it...she didn't want to hear that I liked her. I found out later from her best friend that she really liked me...and that me telling her I liked her took something away from it, made it less interesting...something bizarre like that.
Anyhow, despite that mistake...of sorts...she took it fairly well...but during the next week (away at my 'schoolies' Partyweek’ in Queensland with my friends...and 20,000 other schoolies.) I was staying with my friends...and she happened to be up there at the same time...well it's not that big a co-incidence as the majority of people hire out resorts/hotels in Surfer’s Paradise up on Queensland’s Gold Coast. So basically I met up with her a few times…but due to the nature of the party week it involved a lot of alcohol. So basically the truth comes out when you are drunk…or at least in my experience…she came up to me and said “I’m sorry I don’t like you more than a friend, I don’t know why…but I don’t…I’m sorry.” She then proceeded to hug and kiss me numerous times. Then she proceeded to the dance floor to dirty-dance and make-out with half a dozen or more males in the space of the evening. Basically it seemed…that whatever I had done in the past…i.e. my phone call revealing my feelings for her…had created some kind of barrier around me…meaning that because of that…I could never be anything more than a friend to her. Since she was hooking up with random people…of every size, shape and whatever it seemed that I was truly out of the circle.
Now that we’re all recovered and stuff…we’ve just been swapping novella sized e-mails whilst she’s at work and all that, basically I’ve told her the clichéd “let’s be friends for now it seems right”. Just yesterday…she called me up and said “Hey let’s go see a movie…I really want to see Harry Potter!” so the both of us went to see the movie…
Even though it was inherent in my mind we were going as friends…I still had a curiosity…was this truly just as friends? We get along just fine, and I love being friends…we make each other laugh and share a lot of the same taste in humour and just generic shit that obviously made me connect with her and start to develop a crush on her in the first place. >.<
Ok…so we shared a drink with two straws? Wtf am I inside a movie or something? Well I literally was inside a movie theatre…but I mean…this is playing out strangely.
I acted fairly normally during the movie and since there is this apprehension in me to try to start putting my arm on her…or let her rest my head on my shoulder or whatever, it makes it hard to know what to do. I don’t know if she’d want that…even just as a friend or whatever.Now…tonight she asked if she could come over and watch a movie at my house…it was on my computer in my room…so lights went out, movie was on…and my bed is directly opposite the computer…so she lay down on the bed…and then I was just sitting there in my chair…and she’s like “Come on! Lie down here next to me.” So I was like…hmm ok.
If body language is an indicator of anything then it was fairly decent…except when the calls started coming. It was the guy she likes…or he likes her…or they both like each other. She said “Oh I’m not answering it” but then after it stopped ringing…it rang about 4 times on different occasions…I’m thinking they have nightly phone calls. That changed my mood marginally…oh well I’ll see how it unfolds.Update: Badly, because I don’t like her anymore. Nice!
- Smurg
P.S.
Ok, this is the first girl I've ever liked in my life. It ended like shit. Thing is I have like no feeling to this whatsoever. Now I am so ready to find another girl to develop a crush on. Hopefully it will result in mutual likeageship.
^_^
