QUOTE
This ad made me so confused I have written a letter to send to the RTA....
Dear Big-wigs at the RTA,
Recently I have seen your new ad campaign regarding speeding (
http://www.rta.nsw.gov.au/roadsafety/advertisingcampaigns/speeding_pinkie.html), in which is presented the new slogan "Speeding. No one thinks big of you”. In no uncertain terms this advertisement is drawing the conclusion that people who speed have small penises.
Now, as this is a new initiative of the RTA’s I am still yet to understand some of the finer details concerning the matter. Many of the RTA’s ideas have some hard-to-comprehend underlying issues, but for me this one takes the cake, and as such I felt it necessary to write this letter asking a few questions I would like answered.
Firstly, I would like to know if the effect is immediate on the male genitalia. That is, if a well-endowed man travels at the speed limit all of his life until one day when he misses a poorly placed sign, or a confusing speed change, and he accidentally breaks a ridiculous speed limit will his wang shrink immediately? Or is it more of a gradual effect that builds up over time? And, if so at what rate will it occur? If possible I would like to know the mathematical formula for the rate that the appendage will shrink – I.e. If n is the number of km/hr over the limit, is it a linear relationship with new_size = size-n, or is it an exponential relationship (size = size*1/n^m)?
The next thing I would like to know is if this means that there is now an easier way to increase the size of the penis without resorting to those dodgy pills that I bought over the internet. What I would ultimately like to know is this – if I travel slowly does that mean the size of my penis actually increases? And If I travel 20km/hr under the speed limit in the right hand lane of a three-lane carriageway does that speed up the effect?
Following on from these questions I would like you to clear up the issue of the sexist nature of the ad. From the campaign I could assume that either:
A) Women don’t speed and hence ad campaigns do not need to be directed at this demographic
There will be a follow up campaign alleging that women who speed have large vaginas, or
C) The RTA will be installing penises on female drivers which allow them (through examination of the current size of their penis) to monitor their speeding.
It would be good if you could clear up which of these three options is most correct.
The final details I would like you to clear up are a few inferences I have made from this campaign. Using logical thinking I believe that I can infer the following:
· Old ladies are slow drivers and therefore they have large penises
· NASA astronauts who probably achieve the highest speeds of mankind would have the smallest penises of all (however I’m not sure if your jurisdiction stretches to the U.S.A)
· Women drivers that speed excessively have very small penises, which from their point of view could be a good thing, hence encouraging them to speed.
Thankyou for taking the time to read this extensive list of queries – as you can appreciate I am quite confused over some of the issues raised by your new ad campaign, and I look forward to your reply which will hopefully put some of these questions to rest.
Yours sincerely,
Responsible male P-Plate driver.
My nan had to explain it to me..
