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Physical Journeys Essay - Please give whatever adive you can :) (1 Viewer)

Johhny Thunder

Johnny Thunder
Joined
Mar 23, 2008
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8
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Sydney
Gender
Male
HSC
2008
We Don’t Receive Wisdom; We Must Discover It For Ourselves After A Journey

I believe it was Don Williams, Jr who once said “The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination.” And this is so true. We don’t receive wisdom from nothing; wisdom must come as part of a personal discovery after a journey. I have studied 4 texts related to this statement; 2 poems by Peter Skryznechi (A Drive in the Country and Leaving home), Neil Strauss’s novel “The Game” and David Fincher’s film “Fight Club”. All of which support the idea of an inner wisdom gained after an outer journey has taken place.

A Drive in the country is a poem about a physical journey taken by the persona into a place known as Blue Hole, in what begins as an attempt to explore the beauty of nature Skryznechi comes to a depressive inner realization of his own mortality. Throughout the poem there is an extended metaphor of the road, this is symbolic of life and life’s journey, the end of which of course is death. Blue hole is symbolic of the detour that is a common part of a journey, and which allows the persona to grow. This is why the poem is so macabre in nature, because the composer realizes that even though he is able to take this detour he knows he still must get back onto the path of his journey, the eventual end of which is death. He uses predication of future events in stanza 4 in the lines “the miles yet to go: thinking of the room where an alarm clock was set and tomorrow was already there” to assure the responder that his life will continue yet for quite some time but that he doesn’t see this as an incredibly positive matter instead he sees it as a rather tedious thing which creates a sense that the composer feels overwhelmingly uninterested since he knows that he will eventually die. This mortality of course is in Juxtaposition to the environment which surrounds him which is seen as a thing of immortality and beauty. We know this because of the Euphemistic Language he uses when describing nature he accomplishes this by utilizing sibilance and example of which is the line “how swans swam” creates an overall sense of tranquility in the reader. Alliteration and repetition of the soft W and L sounds further create an overall sense of tranquility for the reader. This is then immediately contrasted with the harsh language used to describe that which is man made in the 3rd stanza “a CHain and rOPE HUNg doWN FRom a tree” describing it as the gallows to which only “dead men return” reminding us again of his own mortality. In the end Skryznechi doesn’t leave blue hole with an overall feeling of negativity, instead he has come to the inner wisdom of Carpe Diem a desire to seize the day!

An exploration of life’s many ‘wisdoms’ continues in David Fincher’s Fight Club – a film about the main persona’s abandonment of society’s values. The nameless character moves out of his condo, at this point I think its worth noting the composers choice to leave the character nameless is a technique which enhances the viewers experience of the film as it enables us to relate more to his journey, though this move is involuntary, proof that journeys do not need to be self initiated, into a squalid environment with the anarchistic Tyler Durden. He thinks that through this abandonment of capitalist beliefs he has ascertained freedom and happiness, But it is not until the end of his journey he comes to the realization that the beliefs Tyler Durden shares are not his own. Although Fight Club is also an exploration of a significant inner journey this is the result of a complex physical journey which involves meticulously tracing the footsteps of a non-existent person. The physical journey goes in a complete circle to return to the same point yet without the physical nature of this journey the inner realizations are not possible. Special effects allow us to witness the destruction of his condo more vividly and bring us further into the personas experience. Clever characterization is used straight from the outset when we are introduced to Tyler Durden, through the script and the unique way in which he is dressed we see him as free. This is juxtaposed with the nameless personas characterization which up until this point has shown him to be a corporate robot and slave of society, This juxtaposition further enhances the responders view of Tyler, we now see him as the perfect man or at the least symbolic of what the nameless persona imagines the perfect man to be. As the nameless persona becomes Tyler’s apprentice the lighting of the film gets progressively darker and shadier, this is symbolic of the personas decent into the dark side of anarchistic beliefs that enshroud his mentor Tyler Durden. In the final scene the technique of repetition is used through recreations of past scenes with the omission of Tyler, this is symbolic of the nameless personas power over Tyler as he finds that he himself is TYLER DURDEN. With this comes the rejection of Tyler’s anarchistic beliefs and thus the apprentice has come to realize the false teachings of his mentor. The persona comes to the wisdom that he should not obey blindly the teachings of his mentor, but must instead make his own judgments. Hence, we witness the ways in the physical journey has resulted in the gaining of wisdom, acquired through the ongoing process of journey.

Similar wisdoms are gained in ‘Leaving Home’, which encompasses an obvious physical journey in which the persona goes on a very impersonal job interview which results in him having to go somewhere on job assignment against his wishes. This re-enforces the idea of the involuntary journey. The personification of the emotions of ignorance, faith and obedience emphasizes the humanity of such emotions and how natural they are. The descriptive language used when describing his following of authority as ““Dull witted, frog-mouthed obedience to the letter of the law” shows us that it is in human nature to follow authority even if we don’t really want to. The line “A black suit to out-do the pallbearer of the year” is symbolic of the hopelessness the persona feels being in this situation and unable to control his own fate this idea is further re-enforced by the juxtaposition of a 3 hrs wait for a 2 minute interview. The “Cabbages for sale” sign he describes is symbolic of his status as a migrant, cabbages are not native to Australia just like him, as well as this consumers symbolic of population just pick and choose the cabbages they want and toss the rest away, but wither way the cabbages and immigrants have no choice in their destiny. Intersexuality is utilized in the final stanza when Skryznechi describes himself and his family as 3 headless birds, birds in other poems represent freedom, in this poem the headless birds represent the LOSS of freedom (captivity) they are him and his family, presumably this is because they are headless. This INTERTEXTUALITY allows us to see anthology of his works, we must see immigrant chronicles and a body of work as well as separate poems if we are to fully understand them. When Skryznechi describes the “millionth person that couldn’t pronounce my name” it serves to re-enforces idea that he is different allowing us to further experience his struggle. At the end of the poem Skryznechi is left questioning control, who controls his life is it him? Or is it some unseen external force symbolized as the faceless interviewer. This leaves us the reader with the question of how large a role does destiny actually play in our lives? Do we control our own fate or is it merely guided by some unseen force?

In my final text “the game” by Neil Strauss, out main persona Neil going by the pseudonym ‘Style’ longs to become part of an underground society of world-class ladiesmen (termed in the book as “PUA’s). Upon being fully accepted into this group and indeed highly regarded amongst its members Neil partakes is invited to become a resident of Project Hollywood (a shared house for PUA’s). Once there Neil realizes that his dream of becoming a PUA is flawed, and he has a deep and profound realization that this underground society is inconsistent in many ways to what he originally imagined it to be, leading to his eventual disillusion and leaving of the underground community. This profound inner realization could not have been had without the physical journey from his safe home and normal life, to a wild Hollywood mansion and a life that was anything but normal. Something that intrigued me about this text is the inclusion of writings related to seducing women which Neil to read during the time the book takes place, this means that as he is reading the book the reader is becoming educated in various concepts around seducing women, leading to them becoming more involved in the text. A similar effect is had with the inclusion of various jargon scattered throughout the text, examples including PUA (pickup artist), Sarge (act of going out to seduce women) and Set (group of people), this brings the responder further into the novel allowing them to feel as if they are actually living the story. Descriptive language used throughout the book, especially when describing various women throughout the text (voluptuous, slim beauty) helps the responder picture the scenario the persona is in, and helps them feel certain emotions (nervousness, excitement, arousal) that Neil is feeling. Lastly the use of images at the beginning of each section of the book, highly exaggerated comic book type art with Neil in famous stills from movies, help bring humor to the novel and serve to uplift the responder during some of the more somber sections of the book to ensure they don’t give up on it. Overall though the overriding lesson from this journey seems to be (to use the old cliché) that although the grass always appears greener on the other side this is not always so.

3 Texts, and 3 wisdoms gained, seize the day, Don’t believe what you are taught to believe, though the grass appears greener on the other side this is not always so and the question of who controls our fate. Each wisdom has been discovered only after the completion of an external journey. I will repeat again “The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination.”


KA from SIHS (initials here because my teachers may think im plagerizing if they find this)



HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


i think i really need help with this, especially with my last paragraph on "the game" the linkages to journeys dont seem to be good enough


anyway any replies welcome


cheers :)
 

o.bi.sess

You feeling lucky, punk?
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Johhny Thunder said:
We Don’t Receive Wisdom; We Must Discover It For Ourselves After A Journey

I believe it was Don Williams, Jr who once said “The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination.” And this is so true. We don’t receive wisdom from nothing; wisdom must come as part of a personal discovery after a journey. I have studied 4 texts related to this statement; 2 poems by Peter Skryznechi (Skrzynecki) (A Drive in the Country and Leaving home), Neil Strauss’s novel “The Game” and David Fincher’s film “Fight Club”. (Don't need to say that you studied these texts; you can just list them. Although this is a personal response, you should avoid making it too conversational) All of which support the idea of an inner wisdom gained after an outer journey has taken place. (You might want to briefly list the wisdom gained in each text here. A good way is to introduce the text and the wisdom gained and linking two texts this way if the wisdom is similar).

A Drive in the country is a poem about a physical journey taken by the persona into a place known as Blue Hole, in what begins as an attempt to explore the beauty of nature Skryznechi comes to a depressive inner realization of his own mortality. (*) Throughout the poem there is an extended metaphor of the road (provide quote), this is symbolic of life and life’s journey, the end of which of course is death. Blue hole is symbolic of the detour (what detour? Maybe more explanation?) that is a common part of a journey, and which allows the persona to grow. This is why the poem is so macabre in nature, because the composer realizes that even though he is able to take this detour he knows he still must get back onto the path of his journey, the eventual end of which is death. He uses predication of future events in stanza 4 in the lines “the miles yet to go: thinking of the room where an alarm clock was set and tomorrow was already there” to assure the responder that his life will continue yet for quite some time but that he doesn’t see this as an incredibly positive matter instead he sees it as a rather tedious thing which creates a sense that the composer feels overwhelmingly uninterested since he knows that he will eventually die. This mortality of course is in Juxtaposition to the environment which surrounds him which is seen as a thing of immortality and beauty. We know this because of the Euphemistic Language he uses when describing nature he accomplishes this by utilizing sibilance and (replace with: an) example of which is the line “how swans swam” (which) creates an overall sense of tranquility in the reader. Alliteration and repetition of the soft W and L sounds further create an overall sense of tranquility for the reader. This is then immediately contrasted with the harsh language (not harsh language - a harsh image is created) used to describe that which is man made in the 3rd stanza “a CHain and rOPE HUNg doWN FRom a tree” describing it as the gallows to which only “dead men return” reminding us again of his own mortality. In the end Skryznechi doesn’t leave blue hole with an overall feeling of negativity, instead he has come to the inner wisdom of Carpe Diem a desire to seize the day! (Feels a little out of place as you spent the whole paragraph talking about how the protagonist is coming to terms with his own mortality and now, suddenly, you're bringing up Carpe Diem. You gave no indication about this throughout the paragraph. Maybe consider leaving it out? Also, try to link the last sentence back to the question).

An exploration of life’s many ‘wisdoms’ continues in David Fincher’s Fight Club – a film about the main persona’s abandonment of society’s values. (Try to be specific about the "wisdom" you are talking about. Actually spell it out) The nameless character moves out of his condo, at this point I think its worth noting (too conversational) the composer's choice to leave the character nameless is a technique which enhances the viewers experience of the film as it enables us to relate more to his journey, though this move is involuntary, proof that journeys do not need to be self initiated, into a squalid environment with the anarchistic Tyler Durden. He thinks that through this abandonment of capitalist beliefs he has ascertained freedom and happiness, But it is not until the end of his journey he comes to the realization that the beliefs Tyler Durden shares are not his own. Although Fight Club is also an exploration of a significant inner journey this is the result of a complex physical journey which involves meticulously tracing the footsteps of a non-existent person. The physical journey goes in a complete circle to return to the same point yet without the physical nature of this journey the inner realizations are not possible. Special effects (provide examples) allow us to witness the destruction of his condo more vividly and bring us further into the personas experience. Clever characterization is used straight from the outset when we are introduced to Tyler Durden, through the script and the unique way in which he is dressed we see him as free (examples and explain why they make the audience think a certain way). This is juxtaposed with the nameless personas characterization which up until this point has shown him to be a corporate robot and slave of society, This juxtaposition further enhances the responders view of Tyler, we now see him as the perfect man or at the least symbolic of what the nameless persona imagines the perfect man to be. As the nameless persona becomes Tyler’s apprentice the lighting of the film gets progressively darker and shadier, this is symbolic of the personas decent into the dark side of anarchistic beliefs that enshroud his mentor Tyler Durden. In the final scene the technique of repetition is used through recreations of past scenes with the omission of Tyler, this is symbolic of the nameless personas power over Tyler as he finds that he himself is TYLER DURDEN. With this comes the rejection of Tyler’s anarchistic beliefs and thus the apprentice has come to realize the false teachings of his mentor. The persona comes to the wisdom that he should not obey blindly the teachings of his mentor, but must instead make his own judgments. Hence, we witness the ways in the physical journey has resulted in the gaining of wisdom, acquired through the ongoing process of journey.

Similar wisdoms are gained in ‘Leaving Home’, which encompasses an obvious physical journey in which the persona goes on a very impersonal job interview which results in him having to go somewhere on job assignment against his wishes. This re-enforces the idea of the involuntary journey. The personification of the emotions of ignorance, faith and obedience emphasizes the humanity of such emotions and how natural they are (examples). The descriptive language used when describing his following of authority as ““Dull witted, frog-mouthed obedience to the letter of the law” shows us that it is in human nature to follow authority even if we don’t really want to. The line “A black suit to out-do the pallbearer of the year” is symbolic of the hopelessness the persona feels being in this situation and unable to control his own fate this idea is further re-enforced by the juxtaposition of a 3 hrs wait for a 2 minute interview. The “Cabbages for sale” sign he describes is symbolic of his status as a migrant, cabbages are not native to Australia just like him, as well as this consumers symbolic of population just pick and choose the cabbages they want and toss the rest away, but wither way the cabbages and immigrants have no choice in their destiny. Intersexuality (Intertextuality?) is utilized in the final stanza when Skryznechi describes himself and his family as 3 headless birds, birds in other poems represent freedom, in this poem the headless birds represent the LOSS of freedom (captivity) they are him and his family, presumably this is because they are headless. This INTERTEXTUALITY allows us to see anthology of his works, we must see immigrant chronicles and a body of work as well as separate poems if we are to fully understand them. When Skryznechi describes the “millionth person that couldn’t pronounce my name” it serves to re-enforces idea that he is different allowing us to further experience his struggle (through exaggeration). At the end of the poem Skryznechi is left questioning control, who controls his life is it him? Or is it some unseen external force symbolized as the faceless interviewer. This leaves us the reader with the question of how large a role does destiny actually play in our lives? Do we control our own fate or is it merely guided by some unseen force? (Need to explain how this links back to the question)

In my final text “the game” by Neil Strauss, out main persona Neil going by the pseudonym ‘Style’ longs to become part of an underground society of world-class ladiesmen (termed in the book as “PUA’s). (Link back to question) Upon being fully accepted into this group and indeed highly regarded amongst its members Neil partakes is invited to become a resident of Project Hollywood (a shared house for PUA’s). Once there Neil realizes that his dream of becoming a PUA is flawed, and he has a deep and profound realization that this underground society is inconsistent in many ways to what he originally imagined it to be, leading to his eventual disillusion and leaving of the underground community. This profound inner realization could not have been had without the physical journey from his safe home and normal life, to a wild Hollywood mansion and a life that was anything but normal. Something that intrigued me (too conversational) about this text is the inclusion of writings related to seducing women which Neil to read during the time the book takes place, this means that as he is reading the book the reader is becoming educated in various concepts around seducing women, leading to them becoming more involved in the text. (**) A similar effect is had with the inclusion of various jargon scattered throughout the text, examples including PUA (pickup artist), Sarge (act of going out to seduce women) and Set (group of people), this brings the responder further into the novel allowing them to feel as if they are actually living the story (Need to explain why this happens). Descriptive language used throughout the book, especially when describing various women throughout the text (voluptuous, slim beauty) (don't forget quotation marks if quoting straight from the novel) helps the responder picture the scenario the persona is in, and helps them feel certain emotions (nervousness, excitement, arousal) that Neil is feeling. Lastly the use of images at the beginning of each section of the book, highly exaggerated comic book type art with Neil in famous stills from movies, help bring humor to the novel and serve to uplift the responder during some of the more somber sections of the book to ensure they don’t give up on it (How does that relate to the question? There's no use analysing techniques if it has nothing to do with the question - makes it seem as if you're throwing everything you know about the text on to the paper despite its relevancy). Overall though the overriding lesson from this journey seems to be (to use the old cliché) (conversational) that although the grass always appears greener on the other side this is not always so.

3 Texts, and 3 wisdoms gained, seize the day, Don’t believe what you are taught to believe, though the grass appears greener on the other side this is not always so and the question of who controls our fate. (There were four texts. Skrzynecki's poems count as two. Also, don't use numbers. Write the number out in words) Each wisdom has been discovered only after the completion of an external journey. I will repeat again “The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination.”


KA from SIHS (initials here because my teachers may think im plagerizing if they find this)



HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


i think i really need help with this, especially with my last paragraph on "the game" the linkages to journeys dont seem to be good enough


anyway any replies welcome


cheers :)
(*) Topic sentence - try to relate it back to question by incorporating the word "wisdom" into it somewhere. Try to make the point of the paragraph clearer. Eg, "A Drive in the Country is a poem about how a physical journey can grant wisdom to the traveller through the realisation of his own mortality."

(**) Is the book in first person? That might be a better technique to use (if it is) as a tool for making the audience empathise with the protagonist.

Overall, the analysis is pretty good. The major bug is that some of your sentences are really awkward to read. I don't know if you skipped words or whatever, but your sentences go on and on when they shouldn't. They don't make sense and I had to mentally insert full stops and add/change words to read the essay.

You also have to try to relate every text back to the question by listing a specific wisdom/lesson if you can. Although I can tell what you're trying to say, they don't mark on what you imply. You have to acutally spell it out for you to get marks.

Don't forget to provide specific examples. Sometimes you list techniques and then just explain what the technique does without giving an example of it from the text. You NEED the example.
 

Johhny Thunder

Johnny Thunder
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o.bi.sess said:
(*) Topic sentence - try to relate it back to question by incorporating the word "wisdom" into it somewhere. Try to make the point of the paragraph clearer. Eg, "A Drive in the Country is a poem about how a physical journey can grant wisdom to the traveller through the realisation of his own mortality."

(**) Is the book in first person? That might be a better technique to use (if it is) as a tool for making the audience empathise with the protagonist.

Overall, the analysis is pretty good. The major bug is that some of your sentences are really awkward to read. I don't know if you skipped words or whatever, but your sentences go on and on when they shouldn't. They don't make sense and I had to mentally insert full stops and add/change words to read the essay.

You also have to try to relate every text back to the question by listing a specific wisdom/lesson if you can. Although I can tell what you're trying to say, they don't mark on what you imply. You have to acutally spell it out for you to get marks.

Don't forget to provide specific examples. Sometimes you list techniques and then just explain what the technique does without giving an example of it from the text. You NEED the example.
thank you a lot!

your advice has been very helpful :)
 

abbeyroad

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Johhny Thunder said:
We Don’t Receive Wisdom; We Must Discover It For Ourselves After A Journey

Similar wisdoms are gained in ‘Leaving Home’, which encompasses an obvious physical journey in which the persona goes on a very impersonal job interview which results in him having to go somewhere on job assignment against his wishes. This re-enforces the idea of the involuntary journey. The personification of the emotions of ignorance, faith and obedience emphasizes the humanity of such emotions and how natural they are. The descriptive language used when describing his following of authority as ““Dull witted, frog-mouthed obedience to the letter of the law” shows us that it is in human nature to follow authority even if we don’t really want to. The line “A black suit to out-do the pallbearer of the year” is symbolic of the hopelessness the persona feels being in this situation and unable to control his own fate this idea is further re-enforced by the juxtaposition of a 3 hrs wait for a 2 minute interview. The “Cabbages for sale” sign he describes is symbolic of his status as a migrant, cabbages are not native to Australia just like him, as well as this consumers symbolic of population just pick and choose the cabbages they want and toss the rest away, but wither way the cabbages and immigrants have no choice in their destiny. Intersexuality is utilized in the final stanza when Skryznechi describes himself and his family as 3 headless birds, birds in other poems represent freedom, in this poem the headless birds represent the LOSS of freedom (captivity) they are him and his family, presumably this is because they are headless. This INTERTEXTUALITY allows us to see anthology of his works, we must see immigrant chronicles and a body of work as well as separate poems if we are to fully understand them. When Skryznechi describes the “millionth person that couldn’t pronounce my name” it serves to re-enforces idea that he is different allowing us to further experience his struggle. At the end of the poem Skryznechi is left questioning control, who controls his life is it him? Or is it some unseen external force symbolized as the faceless interviewer. This leaves us the reader with the question of how large a role does destiny actually play in our lives? Do we control our own fate or is it merely guided by some unseen force?
I just want to point out that in "Leaving Home", the stanza about Skryznechi waiting for an interview is not refering to an interview for a job as you've said, but rather it's an interview with the management of the education dept. to explain why he can't go on the country assignment.
 

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