Please check my essay on Animal Farm (1 Viewer)

Indoz

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Would someone be able to check my essay on animal farm? I will PM it with the original essay question, thanks :)
 

deloving

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Animal Farm! I studied the book last term. PM it to me I'm, just out of curiosity.
 

deloving

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Interesting read on a very interesting book. Hopefully this is a hand-in assessment, otherwise good luck writing 1400 words in ~40 minutes :D (well, it's not IMpossible...)

Your response is very detailed and sophisticated. Really. What I would say you would need to improve is how you set out your arguments. You did well referencing to the book as a whole (like the question has asked you to), but make sure you relate to the essay question as well. Always summarise each argument and relate it back to your thesis. Reference back to the question, put emphasis on how your thesis answers the question. In your conclusion, alongside the review of your main arguments, add a final summary statement reinforcing your thesis.

If in any doubt follow this guide -> http://community.boredofstudies.org/showthread.php?t=257183

We studied Animal Farm for our 'Genre Study'. I loved the book, hated the assessment - we did not analyze the novel too deeply as our assessment task was just 'satirical creative writing'. Shame.
 
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Indoz

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Interesting read on a very interesting book. Hopefully this is a hand-in assessment, otherwise good luck writing 1400 words in ~40 minutes :D (well, it's not IMpossible...)

Your response is very detailed and sophisticated. Really. What I would say you would need to improve is how you set out your arguments. You did well referencing to the book as a whole (like the question has asked you to), but make sure you relate to the essay question as well. Always summarise each argument and relate it back to your thesis. Reference back to the question, put emphasis on how your thesis answers the question. In your conclusion, alongside the review of your main arguments, add a final summary statement reinforcing your thesis.

If in any doubt follow this guide -> http://community.boredofstudies.org/showthread.php?t=257183

We studied Animal Farm for our 'Genre Study'. I loved the book, hated the assessment - we did not analyze the novel too deeply as our assessment task was 'satirical creative piece'. Shame.
Thanks. The thing is, this question is actually not an essay. It is supposed to be a powerpoint, where I record my voice over the slides, answering this question. So I thought that it would be easy to start of by writing an essay on it :) In this sense, do you think I am still not answering the question? What I was trying to do is relate how that group of techniques is linked to the quote, and then I tried to make a reference to the plot itself, with specific examples.

Thanks a lot for replying
 

deloving

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I see. Well from what I can see you did well answering the question. If this was an essay then it would have a couple of essay-structure mistakes I have mentioned in the previous post. In an essay you won't get away with it if you don't relate to your thesis after every argument. In your powerpoint you should just reference the question more and you should be ok.

It would be best if you could get a senior student for more professional and reliable feedback xD I don't consider myself an expert and I don't want to give you incorrect guidelines :p
 

joyjoy19

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I know this is kind of old... but plz PM it to me.... im doing that book at the moment!
 

1611134585

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Ill give you my whole essay from Year 8
How does your selected text communicate ideas of value to us?
‘Animal Farm’ by George Orwell was written in 1945 during the Russian Revolution. He wrote this novel to show how ideas of the Russian Revolution were betrayed by its leaders. In this novel, animals overthrow their human masters in an attempt to create a fairer and more equal society. Ideas of value in the novel are communicated to us in a variety of language forms and features including satire, allegory, characterization, fable and also through the structure of the novel.
Orwell uses satire to communicate ideas of value such as the abuse of political power was unjust. The imitation of characters in ‘Animal Farm’ to real life equivalents and using parallels with the political events of the time, especially targeting the dictatorship of Joseph Stalin allow us to see the cruel treatment of the lower classes. In comparison, it shows how much the upper classes benefited. Animal Farm’s satirical content evidently shows that the abuse of political power was unjust.
In ‘Animal Farm’, characterisation is also used to communicate ideas of value such as work ethic. There are many vivid descriptions of Boxer, showing him as the epitome of hard work. Whenever he was free of work, he would volunteer to do extra work for the sake of his friends. One of his sayings was ‘I will work harder’. These descriptions show that the animals regarded work ethic highly.
Characterisation shows that propaganda should not be used for personal advantages. It is clearly shown through Squealer the pig, Napoleon’s speaker. Characterisation is used to describe his cunning personality and his persuasion of the less intelligent animals. For Example, ‘Squealer would read out to them lists of figures proving that production had gone up by two hundred per cent, three hundred per cent, or five hundred per cent, as the case might be’. This encouraged them to work even harder so the pigs could revel in luxury for longer. Hence, characterisation is used to communicate that propaganda should not be used for personal advantages.
‘Animal Farm’ is a fable with lessons that communicates many ideas of value. An example is greed shows the worst in everyone. After the pigs took charge, they were driven by their own greed and ended up becoming like their enemies (the humans). When in debt, Napoleon ordered the hens to surrender one hundred more eggs to sell which greatly diminished their numbers. Therefore, it is evident that the idea of greed is shown through the fable.
Orwell skilfully organises the structure of the novel to help communicate ideas of value. An example is at the beginning, where he uses the animals’ speech to share their enthusiasm for the vision of the future. The story progresses and after they see their ideals destroyed, previous phrases are repeated to further emphasis the dystopia. The structure of ‘Animal Farm’ helps to clarify the theme and idea of the betrayed revolution by using speech at the beginning and repetition.
‘Animal Farm’ by George Orwell is a meaningful novel that communicates ideas of value. He uses a variety of language forms, features and the structure of the novel to do this. It is a simple farmyard tale where the abuse of political power shows how important a fair society truly is.
 

Tamama251

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Yea, let's bump up a 3 year old post... The people who gave the resources are probably way gone by now lolllllll
 

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