Please Please Pleasee Helppppp Please!!! (1 Viewer)

[punkoohi]

Me and my bf have been going out for about almost 3 and a half months now... and it is getting serious, our relationship is getting more deep and meaningful... HOWEVER, we can onl see eachother once a week.. if not then once every two weeks.. and cause i have my last year of high school next yr [be4 uni] its gonna be even harder... we just had a major conversation about it... we dont want to break up, but we dont see how its gonna change in the future... cause we live an hr away from each other, and we can only possibly see each other on the weekends... and thats not enough for us anymore, and we dont feel the same when werer having fone conversations, but we dont want to break up... anyone have any tips?

he goes to uni, im doing my HSC next year, i dont know if your american or anything, and i think in America its the SAT's... but yeah, thats why its really important for me, and i dont have too much time, but he goes to Uni, he has more time then me... and hes willing to make the effort and so am i, but its so much harder...

Its been going well until now, because right upto now we havent had the need to see eachother more then once a week.. but now its getting bad, like when we talk on the phone, it feels like it doesnt even mean anything... but when we see eachother... then we really feel it!! But seeing each other once a week is not enough for us,... i pointed it out to him that theres all these other people that can do it, and hes like 'were different" and its true, not all relationships are the same!! butt i REALLLYY dont wanna break up... its times like these where i really feel how much i like him... what can we do?

we decided we cant just keep going like this, cause its not gonna get any better... we need options... but it feels like theres nothing we can do.. and we live an hr away from each other which DOES NOT help the stuation

please help somebody

 

[Dr_Doom]

Both of you should get a job around the same area. 30 minutes away from your house. Then you can see him during breaks and after work.

 

[ur_inner_child]

whats wrong with sleepovers?

 

[littlewing69]

Both of you should get a job around the same area. 30 minutes away from your house. Then you can see him during breaks and after work.

That's an awesome idea.

 

[punkoohi]

i dont drive to go to a job 30 mins from my area..and he works for a family friend... IN HIS AREA lolzz im applying for a job in my area... itll be too hard as well espcially with my HSC next year... but its a good idea... but it wont work for us

 

[loquasagacious]

How about a uni student should stop dating a highschooler???

By my estimation you will be 17-18 and he will be at least 18-19.

IMHO in uni it is loosers who can't attract females their own age who go out with school girls. The bigger the gap the bigger the looser and seeing as your bf is on the maximum legal gap that makes him a pretty big looser.

Even besides from that have you heard of a maturity gap? No matter how mature you think you are assuming that your boyfriend is not retarded he is more mature than you.

Heard of a 'life-experience' gap? He is in (at least) first year of uni and you haven't even done your HSC, how much common ground can this give you?

 

[punkoohi]

SHUT UP! LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT? PLEASE... actually its proven that girls mature quicker then boys... first of all, second of all, yes i know life experience gap, and am going through it, have already been through a bit, and i know the importance of age gaps between these ages... BUT its not really affecting us... and as for your "theory" about "uni guys being losers for dating school girls" please.... get a life!!!

 

[glitterfairy]

Quite a few people I know who are in long-term, successful relationships can only meet up once a week due to travel issues.

If this isn't enough for you, then break up. If you care enough about each other to want to make one meeting a week work, then go for it. Sitting around saying "this is how things are and I'm not happy about it even though I don't think they will change help me please" isn't going to help things.

 

[*hopeful*]

this isnt no american site btw, so we know what hsc is

 

[punkoohi]

yes i know that i know that, i just want some options, like i dont know if its a phase or not?

and i know its not an american site, but i posted it on another forum as well... and i hd to explain it to them...

 

[ur_inner_child]

If anything I feel you're over-dramatising the situation

 

[tabbi_neubeck]

I must say, the main thing that you need to do is to stop thinking of the HSC as a barrier, and that it is going to take up all of your time. Time organisation works wonders.
And just because your bf is at uni does not particularly mean that he has more time, there is a lot of extra work that goes with it.

Manage your time, and learn to stand being away from each other, it just makes the time that you do spend together that little bit more special ... trust me i am going through the same thing at the moment ... i am currently in the middle of a 4 week prac teaching block for uni and have shit loads of stuff to do, but still manage to spend all weekend with my bf, plus at least one week night (though he only lives 15 minutes away) ... and when i am at uni this semester i am at uni 5 days a week (for which i travel to and from each day for 40 minutes) then work 830-630 saturday and sunday. But still manage to spend friday afternoon together and some nights, despit the mass of uni work that i have to do.

So i think that you need to sit back and realise this is not all as bad as you may think it is.

 

[AlleyCat]

whats wrong with sleepovers?

whats wrong with sleepovers?

whats wrong with sleepovers?

whats wrong with sleepovers?

whats wrong with sleepovers?

whats wrong with sleepovers?

whats wrong with sleepovers?

whats wrong with sleepovers?

whats wrong with sleepovers?

whats wrong with sleepovers?

whats wrong with sleepovers?

whats wrong with sleepovers?

whats wrong with sleepovers?

whats wrong with sleepovers?

yeah. what IS wrong with sleepovers?

edit: yeah i put the "oh!" in "overkill"

 

[Dejected]

this was exactly the reason me and my ex broke up.

she didnt want to bother trying, while still saying that she loved me. work that out?

*cries*

 

[Serius]

SHUT UP! LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT? PLEASE... actually its proven that girls mature quicker then boys... first of all, second of all, yes i know life experience gap, and am going through it, have already been through a bit, and i know the importance of age gaps between these ages... BUT its not really affecting us... and as for your "theory" about "uni guys being losers for dating school girls" please.... get a life!!!

theres nothing wrong with an age difference in relationships, but dont pretend there isnt a maturity gap. Females dont mature faster than males and if you beleive this then you are in denial. Either you are more mature than average, he is less mature or probably somewhere in between.

One of my friends is dating a younger girl, she isnt doing her HSC yet [well actually she kinda is, but only in 1 subject] and there isnt a problem. Probably because she is unbeleivably mature.

If you want it to work, i am sure you can find a way to see him more often. Otherwise you could take a break until uni time

 

[Hosemans]

Ok, basically all you need to do is plan out what you need to do with school and work *when you get a job*, after that has been completed i suggest you look into a T-card for bus's and train's as they can help you're situation.

Another idea is, to apply you're mum and dads help to getting you to see him on the free times you have planned out, or go for your L's then you can bargin with your parents to let you do your hours while getting to see your boyfriend.

Ha and once again more ideas, i've been in this situation before and i usually just got time to spare to meet somewhere and spend the hours i had free with them. You must not think to deeply about it becuase usually it will result in a break up or confusion between what to do and where to go with things.

Just one more thing... if he is in uni, wouldn't have his lisence? if he doesn't then he should pull his finger out alittle and make things alot easer on the both of you.

Anyways hit me back if i have helped at all, becuase i like to know i helped... if i haven't then still hit me back on what you think you should do!

I'm intrested in helping you lol

Anyways later .

Benji

 

[grk_styl]

How about a uni student should stop dating a highschooler???

By my estimation you will be 17-18 and he will be at least 18-19.

IMHO in uni it is loosers who can't attract females their own age who go out with school girls. The bigger the gap the bigger the looser and seeing as your bf is on the maximum legal gap that makes him a pretty big looser.

Even besides from that have you heard of a maturity gap? No matter how mature you think you are assuming that your boyfriend is not retarded he is more mature than you.

Heard of a 'life-experience' gap? He is in (at least) first year of uni and you haven't even done your HSC, how much common ground can this give you?

ok that is a MASSIVE generalisation! How about instead of criticising the girl's relationship, we just give her the help she needs?

thread starter: i only see my boyfriend once a week (two on a good week) and it's incredibly hard. But I guess if you WANT it to happen you can make it happen. Would you rather only see each other once or week or not be together at all? If you really like the guy, I'm assuming you're going to choose the first option.

Don't run away from these problems, coz they won't get solved and you'll end up breaking hearts, and being broken hearted and who can concentrate with a broken heart?

My boy and I get through it with sms', we talk every night on the phone, and we utilise the time we spend together. It makes us appreciate each other more. Plus, on the holidays you get to spend more time together!

I do also suggest trying to get your license, or considering he's in uni for him to have his license? Driving usually brings the gap closer!

Alternatively you two should probably talk about whether you like each other enough to try.

 

[punkoohi]

UPDATE: welll i tired my best and all i could, but we broke up... i have heaps more time now, im just looking at the positives... he said he thinks its betetr if we break up, although i suggested some tiems we could see each other, but he just thought theres no way it could work... so yeah thats the end of it...

 

[ujuphleg]

I had this exact situation when I was in Year 12 - my boyfriend was in halfway through his first year when I started and he lived an hour away from me too. We saw each other maybe once a week or once a fortnight and we talked for about 20 minutes on the phone every night.

ur_inner_child is right, theres nothing wrong with sleepovers - unless you have ultra strict parents like mine in which case everything is wrong with it.

It comes down to this:

1) How much do you like this guy?
2) If you don't want to break up, can you survive the year with *minimal* contact?
3) Small amounts of quality time is much better than huge quantities of shit time
4) You just have to give it a go and see how it works. Every relationship is different and you'll just have to go trial and error to see if it works.

If you don't think it will, perhaps you should break up now, because doing that during the HSC is a bad idea.

 

[punkoohi]

we already broke up... ur situation is like EXACTLY the same as mine.. i dont know, i did everything i could, but he just couldnt see it working, im already enjoying my freedom though... its okay