Question 2 (2 Viewers)
- Thread starter McLake
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max
That which u feel becomes
I was looking out my window trying to describe the landscape...
A mile below the lowest cloud, rock breaches water and the sea begins. It fills the spaces between stones and sand, curling around coastlines and filling trenches between the continents. At the edges of the world the salt water is cold enough to burn. Huge slabs of frozen sea mimic the land, and break and crash and reform.....
A mile below the lowest cloud, rock breaches water and the sea begins. It fills the spaces between stones and sand, curling around coastlines and filling trenches between the continents. At the edges of the world the salt water is cold enough to burn. Huge slabs of frozen sea mimic the land, and break and crash and reform.....
Wild Dan Hibiki
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my story was about a guy going to iraq to hand supplies to kids n stuff... then it just lead to no where. oh yeah i too kept changing between past and present tense. i knew i was doing it but i didnt know how to fix it. LOL
angelduck
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I loved it! I was soo worried that it was gonna be a feature article, soo worried!!!
But i did Journeys over time, and it was about an old lady who has arthritis, cant play her beloved piano anymore, has a memory, and realises that she still has a life ahead of her, so she needs to remmeber her past etc. I was upset that i didnt get to use my Duck story....Yes reni and tines, the Duck! The fat little baby duck with the feathers, such a cute little duck...
But i did Journeys over time, and it was about an old lady who has arthritis, cant play her beloved piano anymore, has a memory, and realises that she still has a life ahead of her, so she needs to remmeber her past etc. I was upset that i didnt get to use my Duck story....Yes reni and tines, the Duck! The fat little baby duck with the feathers, such a cute little duck...
mazza_728
Manda xoxo
I didnt actually say what section i was responding to... its a journey of the heart/journey over landscapes.. im kicking myself for not specifying though.. i just thought id go with the flow and go back to it but i forgot. shit!
Choctop
Member
At least none of you did some romantic mush about a girl and her war-time love that made NO SENSE WHATSOEVER, especially since I strongly suspect that I forgot to specify which Journey I was using as stimulus!
*Gulp*
*Gulp*
Komaticom
Bored Member
My story (give or take): landscape.
"Spectators"
Harry Bannister had almost crashed his car twice in the past month, due to fatigue and stress that had accumulated over the years from working in the office. That was why he decided to get away for a couple of weeks and relax with his daughter, Kate, at the quaint resort town of Altamont. The girl who was so elated upon hearing the news was now sleeping soundly in the passenger seat. Harry glanced at her, pondered a moment or two, and decided that a little bit of music wouldn’t hurt the peace, and the persistent hum of the vehicle’s engine reminded him of the office - the last thing he would think about on this cloudless night. Altamont had a radio station, but its four-digit frequency was buried too deep within his mind to recollect. Laura would know, but she wasn’t with them. Harry would have enjoyed her company… Kate would even more, since she never knew her mother. Harry had to explain why Mum left, and explain it in a way that the little girl would understand. Telling a four-year-old that her mother had passed away from cancer wasn’t exactly one of Harry’s strengths.
As the jeep neared town, a figure suddenly came into view. Harry swerved ploughing through the thin foliage on the roadside, kicking up plumes of dirt and stones.
He awoke standing, which struck him as strange. Thunderclouds slid across the sky, like black fingers reaching for the horizon. His jeep was before his eyes, mangled beyond recognition. He approached the passenger-side door, and found it sprawled on the dirt. The passenger seat was vacant.
“Kate!” He hollered.
“Daddy!” Came the heart-warming reply, from down the road.
Harry bent down to greet his girl, wrapping her in his arms.
“I found Mum!” Kate exclaimed.
“Hi Harry,” the woman greeted half smiling.
“Isn’t it great!” Kate exclaimed, tugging at her father’s trouser leg. “Now we’re one happy family!”
“What are you doing here?” Harry stuttered, confused and standing.
“Harry,” Laura began, stepping closer, her glistening chestnut hair flapping freely in the warm wind. “I wished you didn’t come so soon.”
“What do you mean?”
“Kate,” the woman knelt down, gently grasping the little girl’s shoulders, “can you go to the field over there and pick lots of flowers for Mum?”
“Okie dokie!” The little girl took off, skipping and singing merrily.
A sigh. “Look at this,” she nodded towards the wreckage.
He turned to his late wife after a few moments, his confusion palpable.
“There’s no easy way to say this, Harry,” Laura began, taking a few steps forward, glass crushing under her sneakers. “You’re both dead.”
“Dead?” The man spurted out, his voice dripping with desperation and denial. “But I’m here in one piece!”
“So am I,” his wife replied gently, watching tears swim in his eyes. Laura embraced him. Harry had thought he had saved a life the night before, yet, there was no life, just a spirit of a loved one, a warning of the bleak future. He had ended her daughter’s life, but Laura felt no resentment, no sympathy. She only felt… joy… Heaven had that effect on people.
“Harry,” she whispered in his ear. “I had always been beside you, all those nights when you were crying yourself to sleep, and all those days in the office, staring at my portrait, on the corner of your desk. I’ve seen you suffer silently these three long years, but I’m here now. I’m here now.”
They were spectators now, spectators in a game in which she was dealt a losing hand. Harry could have kept playing, but he played carelessly, and that had cost him his game, his life, Kate’s life. So here they were…
“One happy family,” she smiled to herself, spotting her daughter in the distant meadow. Kate waved to her, disappeared under the sea of yellow, before appearing again waving a bundle of flowers, oblivious to her new existence - for now.
I wrote a note that the journey is one of death and the landscape is from the city to mountainous region, in case the examiner is a moron .
"Spectators"
Harry Bannister had almost crashed his car twice in the past month, due to fatigue and stress that had accumulated over the years from working in the office. That was why he decided to get away for a couple of weeks and relax with his daughter, Kate, at the quaint resort town of Altamont. The girl who was so elated upon hearing the news was now sleeping soundly in the passenger seat. Harry glanced at her, pondered a moment or two, and decided that a little bit of music wouldn’t hurt the peace, and the persistent hum of the vehicle’s engine reminded him of the office - the last thing he would think about on this cloudless night. Altamont had a radio station, but its four-digit frequency was buried too deep within his mind to recollect. Laura would know, but she wasn’t with them. Harry would have enjoyed her company… Kate would even more, since she never knew her mother. Harry had to explain why Mum left, and explain it in a way that the little girl would understand. Telling a four-year-old that her mother had passed away from cancer wasn’t exactly one of Harry’s strengths.
As the jeep neared town, a figure suddenly came into view. Harry swerved ploughing through the thin foliage on the roadside, kicking up plumes of dirt and stones.
He awoke standing, which struck him as strange. Thunderclouds slid across the sky, like black fingers reaching for the horizon. His jeep was before his eyes, mangled beyond recognition. He approached the passenger-side door, and found it sprawled on the dirt. The passenger seat was vacant.
“Kate!” He hollered.
“Daddy!” Came the heart-warming reply, from down the road.
Harry bent down to greet his girl, wrapping her in his arms.
“I found Mum!” Kate exclaimed.
“Hi Harry,” the woman greeted half smiling.
“Isn’t it great!” Kate exclaimed, tugging at her father’s trouser leg. “Now we’re one happy family!”
“What are you doing here?” Harry stuttered, confused and standing.
“Harry,” Laura began, stepping closer, her glistening chestnut hair flapping freely in the warm wind. “I wished you didn’t come so soon.”
“What do you mean?”
“Kate,” the woman knelt down, gently grasping the little girl’s shoulders, “can you go to the field over there and pick lots of flowers for Mum?”
“Okie dokie!” The little girl took off, skipping and singing merrily.
A sigh. “Look at this,” she nodded towards the wreckage.
He turned to his late wife after a few moments, his confusion palpable.
“There’s no easy way to say this, Harry,” Laura began, taking a few steps forward, glass crushing under her sneakers. “You’re both dead.”
“Dead?” The man spurted out, his voice dripping with desperation and denial. “But I’m here in one piece!”
“So am I,” his wife replied gently, watching tears swim in his eyes. Laura embraced him. Harry had thought he had saved a life the night before, yet, there was no life, just a spirit of a loved one, a warning of the bleak future. He had ended her daughter’s life, but Laura felt no resentment, no sympathy. She only felt… joy… Heaven had that effect on people.
“Harry,” she whispered in his ear. “I had always been beside you, all those nights when you were crying yourself to sleep, and all those days in the office, staring at my portrait, on the corner of your desk. I’ve seen you suffer silently these three long years, but I’m here now. I’m here now.”
They were spectators now, spectators in a game in which she was dealt a losing hand. Harry could have kept playing, but he played carelessly, and that had cost him his game, his life, Kate’s life. So here they were…
“One happy family,” she smiled to herself, spotting her daughter in the distant meadow. Kate waved to her, disappeared under the sea of yellow, before appearing again waving a bundle of flowers, oblivious to her new existence - for now.
I wrote a note that the journey is one of death and the landscape is from the city to mountainous region, in case the examiner is a moron .
moonskystars
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Section 2
I wrote a personal response where I talked about the insights I gained from my father who has travelled all over the world when he told me about what he'd learnt from his journeys over landscapes and how it changed him as a person and made him appreciate Australia even more.
At the end of it I noted that I was going on a cruise for schoolies (pretending it was my first overseas trip) then said:
Monkey see, Monkey do, I suppose.
Do they like humour? I hope so!
It was about 5 and a half pages of medium writing.
I wrote a personal response where I talked about the insights I gained from my father who has travelled all over the world when he told me about what he'd learnt from his journeys over landscapes and how it changed him as a person and made him appreciate Australia even more.
At the end of it I noted that I was going on a cruise for schoolies (pretending it was my first overseas trip) then said:
Monkey see, Monkey do, I suppose.
Do they like humour? I hope so!
It was about 5 and a half pages of medium writing.
hotcocoababe
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Whoa ok.... LOL
I COULD put a transcript of my Section Two response here, but i really cant be bothered and besides its so cold that im having enough trouble typing as it is
But, it was basically the life of a Bic pen.... was quite funny, i posted somewhere else that i couldnt stop giggling all the way through writing it, and the supervisor keep giving me, "Are you alright dear?" sorta looks LOL
'Pen' (as i called him) started off in the shop, gets bought and taken home, and makes his way up the careers ladder from being a shopping-list writer to being the M.O.T.H (Man of the House's) business pen, where he gets to travel overseas n see many wonderful things.
Eventually, he becomes old and scratched (although he is still convinced of his own importance, and cannot see past his former glory to see that he is only a shadow of his old, shiny new self) and gets replaced with Parker pens.
Pen ends up under a desk, where he ponders his life (has a reflection period) over the many wonderful journeys (doncha just HATE that word) that he went on in his life and how he worked his way up....
and thats the end LOL!
simple, but quirky....well, i liked it
I COULD put a transcript of my Section Two response here, but i really cant be bothered and besides its so cold that im having enough trouble typing as it is
But, it was basically the life of a Bic pen.... was quite funny, i posted somewhere else that i couldnt stop giggling all the way through writing it, and the supervisor keep giving me, "Are you alright dear?" sorta looks LOL
'Pen' (as i called him) started off in the shop, gets bought and taken home, and makes his way up the careers ladder from being a shopping-list writer to being the M.O.T.H (Man of the House's) business pen, where he gets to travel overseas n see many wonderful things.
Eventually, he becomes old and scratched (although he is still convinced of his own importance, and cannot see past his former glory to see that he is only a shadow of his old, shiny new self) and gets replaced with Parker pens.
Pen ends up under a desk, where he ponders his life (has a reflection period) over the many wonderful journeys (doncha just HATE that word) that he went on in his life and how he worked his way up....
and thats the end LOL!
simple, but quirky....well, i liked it
Last edited:
GromReaper
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I did Journeys of the Heart and basically re-did my story from the trials and beefed it up a bit.
It was about some guy (Dave) and he hears this bum on the street say something like "I look back now and realise how it is that I came to be here." and that gets Dave thinking about how he wants to be remembered as a hero and whatnot.
So anyway he goes into his diner, the place gets robbed, Dave tries to be a hero by hitting the dude with a suitcase, and the robber turns just in time to fire a single shot before they both see black.
Dave wakes up i na hospital-like room, with black sheets and floors. He wanders out into the hallway full of doors and sees that each one opens up to his important memories. He keeps telling himself it's a dream, then comes to a door labelled "The End" and opens it and sees himself get shot and BAM! he realises he's dead. It ends with him saying "I look back now and realise how it is that I came to be here."
...Man, I'm hoping that it's relevant.
It was about some guy (Dave) and he hears this bum on the street say something like "I look back now and realise how it is that I came to be here." and that gets Dave thinking about how he wants to be remembered as a hero and whatnot.
So anyway he goes into his diner, the place gets robbed, Dave tries to be a hero by hitting the dude with a suitcase, and the robber turns just in time to fire a single shot before they both see black.
Dave wakes up i na hospital-like room, with black sheets and floors. He wanders out into the hallway full of doors and sees that each one opens up to his important memories. He keeps telling himself it's a dream, then comes to a door labelled "The End" and opens it and sees himself get shot and BAM! he realises he's dead. It ends with him saying "I look back now and realise how it is that I came to be here."
...Man, I'm hoping that it's relevant.
Not-That-Bright
Andrew Quah
I wrote a story about the devil in a bikini.
I hope that was relevant too
I hope that was relevant too
:: dreami ::
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i did journey of the heart, but it was sorta time as well
i didnt title it with that, called it the photograph
it was about this women who is reflecting on this photograph of her and her two friends. she thinks back to when the photo was taken and what their life was like then. then the time is shifted back to reality and she is old now. her friends are still with her and their children and grandchildren are all around them.
they take another photo and the woman reflects on the changes that have occured between the two time periods and is moved by this journey
i stuffed up writing it though, it hardly achieved the effect i wanted
i didnt title it with that, called it the photograph
it was about this women who is reflecting on this photograph of her and her two friends. she thinks back to when the photo was taken and what their life was like then. then the time is shifted back to reality and she is old now. her friends are still with her and their children and grandchildren are all around them.
they take another photo and the woman reflects on the changes that have occured between the two time periods and is moved by this journey
i stuffed up writing it though, it hardly achieved the effect i wanted
elizabethmary
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it didnt specify for a story actually sammywags its says a piece of writing which well.. means a piece of writing.
krissyjenko
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hey i wrote a totally different thing.
Mine was about the actual journey (metaphoricaly speaking) from the perspective of an actual heart!
It started as the birth of a child, emotions experienced as a child like love and death by a heart attack! what do ya think?
i used lots of techniques but it wasnt very long
Mine was about the actual journey (metaphoricaly speaking) from the perspective of an actual heart!
It started as the birth of a child, emotions experienced as a child like love and death by a heart attack! what do ya think?
i used lots of techniques but it wasnt very long