Question on essay structure (1 Viewer)

sadpwner

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I have only been taught the standard 5 paragraph essay structure, so when it comes to 2000+ word essays I end up with massive body paragraphs. I usually write the topic sentence, support it, provide evidence and then explain.

I am confused about what to do after explaining. I generally want to support my topic sentence with more evidience so I would repeat the sequence: provide new evidence and explain it. When I've sufficiently done so, I would link all my evidence to the thesis and essay question then link my paragraph to the next. This gives me 800 words.

Should I have just linked my first evidence and started a new paragraph for the 2nd? Would I have to write the same topic setence again since the evidence supports the same topic setence? I don't understand what to after the explaining section. The problem here is not going above the word limit btw, just poor structure.
 

CrescentMoon

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How i usually structure my essays:
Introduction: provide stance on question/topic, link to text(s), themes/concepts
Body (separate paragraphs based on ideas, different paragraph for different ideas): thesis/topic sentence, explain, example/quote, link to question and next paragraph
Conclusion

I don't know what your essay is on but i think you can write things more succinctly. Your topic sentence should be supported by your evidence which you then explain and link to the question. So to answer your question, after explaining you should link back to the question and your following paragraph. You shouldn't write the same topic sentence again. Instead, you should group your argument and ideas with your examples so you don't have to repeat yourself in your essay.

I hope this makes sense :)
 

sadpwner

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You shouldn't write the same topic sentence again. Instead, you should group your argument and ideas with your examples so you don't have to repeat yourself in your essay.
Where should I group them? In my evidence section or the following pararaph? I usually do this:

Topic sentence
Support
Evidence
Explain
Evidence
Explain
... as many times needed then
link everything to thesis and essay question
link to next paragraph

This causes my paragraphs to be massive. I am also succinct, so the problem is with structure.

I understand that you start a new paragraph when you discuss a different idea, but all my evidence supports one idea. I am uncertain on when to start a new paragraph and how to for the same idea.
 
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sadpwner

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Can you give an example?

It sounds like that if your having lots of evidence for one point, then either your point is very broad and can be broken into sub points (hence different paragraphs), or your analysis of ideas is not broad enough.

Also, give this a read:

http://community.boredofstudies.org/4/english/257183/advanced-english-essay-writing-guide.html
I just read that, but I couldn't get an answer out of it.

I was asked to write a proprosal on why King Lear should be staged in a theatre, one of the reason I choose was its revelence in modern society. I chose various components of the play and explained how they were relevant. This was a 700 word paragraph.
 

Absolutezero

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I just read that, but I couldn't get an answer out of it.

I was asked to write a proprosal on why King Lear should be staged in a theatre, one of the reason I choose was its revelence in modern society. I chose various components of the play and explained how they were relevant. This was a 700 word paragraph.
Ok, so something like that you could break down into smaller paragraphs. So you could talk about the universality of the themes, how the characters reflect modern people, how the circumstances reflect current political trends etc. It's very broad otherwise.
 

sadpwner

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Ok, so something like that you could break down into smaller paragraphs. So you could talk about the universality of the themes, how the characters reflect modern people, how the circumstances reflect current political trends etc. It's very broad otherwise.
What would the structure of the main paragraph and sub-paragraph look like? My dicussion of the univeral themes spanned on for 500 words and resemblance of modern people for 200.
 

Absolutezero

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What would the structure of the main paragraph and sub-paragraph look like? My dicussion of the univeral themes spanned on for 500 words and resemblance of modern people for 200.
It depends on what the rest of your essay looks like. You would want to even up those paragraphs for starters.

I've done essays that go:

Thesis
Summary of Idea 1
First Specifics of Idea 1
Second Specifics of Idea 1
Summary of Idea 2
First Specifics of Idea 2
Second Specifics of Idea 2
...
Conclusion

However, at HSC level, you should be able to get away with

Thesis
Idea 1
Idea 2
Idea 3
...
Conclusion

For your example, there's really only one reason you would restage King Lear, because of it's relevance to modern society. So that would be your thesis. Then the ideas are each reason why it is relevant.

It could be that your thesis is too broad, which then makes your ideas too broad.
 

sadpwner

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It depends on what the rest of your essay looks like. You would want to even up those paragraphs for starters.

I've done essays that go:

Thesis
Summary of Idea 1
First Specifics of Idea 1
Second Specifics of Idea 1
Summary of Idea 2
First Specifics of Idea 2
Second Specifics of Idea 2
...
Conclusion

However, at HSC level, you should be able to get away with

Thesis
Idea 1
Idea 2
Idea 3
...
Conclusion

For your example, there's really only one reason you would restage King Lear, because of it's relevance to modern society. So that would be your thesis. Then the ideas are each reason why it is relevant.

It could be that your thesis is too broad, which then makes your ideas too broad.
The essay question was kind of broad. It told us to propose for the play because we believe it is Shakespeare's most significant work, so my thesis was it being Shakespeare' most significant work. Its relevance in modern society was just one of my arguments.

I was criticised for having too long paragraphs, so the 5 paragraph structure will cost me marks.

I think a better example would be if I had 3 equally valid and important pieces of evidence to support my topic sentence, but my paragraph ends up being 800 words. Should I spilt my arguments into sub-paragraphs? If I were to separate my evidence into sub-paragraphs, what would the structure of the sub-paragraph and main paragraph look like specifically?

Btw, I think you misunderstood and thought my thesis was the relevance in modern society and the word counts I gave were for separate paragraphs. The word counts were for my evidence in one paragraph. I only gave one argument as an example.
 
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Mdyeow

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I think, like Absolute that " your thesis is too broad, which then makes your ideas too broad". I would differ from him in that I would advocate specificity of points, rather than splitting each idea into separate stages or components.


To your specific example
"Relevance to modern society" can mean everything from the enduring nature of jealousy to the fact that people still pissed and crapped in those days, same as now.

You want to split that into the reasons why it's relevant, maybe: lust for power; jealousy; and sibling rivalry. Now you have far more specific lenses for each paragraph, which limits the scope of each to a more manageable amount.

Like Absolute's intimated, each of your paragraphs is an essay unto itself.


More generally:
Remember that the point of each paragraph is to prove your topic sentence. Once you've done this, move on to the next one.

Don't try to artificially split your paragraphs because it just sounds stupid. Each paragraph should be an entire self-contained entity - that is, if you took it out from the essay, it'd still provide a full and coherent message. Much like I've done with the sections of this post.

Separating evidence from analysis fails this test and it will hurt you (this is not a refutation to Absolute's structure, though, which is a variant on mine).

Alternatives
It could also be a stylistic issue. You should be aiming for as short and pithy sentences as you need to convey your point. Present technique, explain effect, link to message, move on. But I can't tell this unless I see a sample.

Hope that helps.
 

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