Quotes from RED DWARF!!! (1 Viewer)

[stalk_if_u_dare]

Come RED DWARF FANS!!!!!

Quote time!

*My sig has a quote from red dwarf

here's some more:

*"I have a medium-sized fire axe buried in my spinal column. That sort of thing can really put a crimp on your day. "
- Kryten, Quarantine

*Rimmer: "What's this? Learning drugs? They're illegal, matey! Where did you get them? I'm afraid you're in very serious, grave, deep trouble, Lister. Where did you get them? I want names, I want places, I want dates."
Lister: "Arnold Rimmer, his locker, this morning."
- Rimmer and Lister, Balance of Power

*" No silicon heaven? Preposterous! Where would all the calculators go? "
- Kryten, The Last Day

*Rimmer: "Step up to Red Alert!"
Kryten: "Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb. "
- Kryten, Legion

 

[snail_2006]

A pub? Ah yes, a meeting place where people attempt to achieve advanced states of mental incompetence by the repeated consumption of fermented vegetable drink - Kryten


Ok Rimmer, ok
Ok?
Ok
Is that a threat, Lister?
Yeah
Actually ok, Lister is not a threat, technically speaking
It is when you mean it to mean what i mean it to mean and i mean it to mean ok Rimmer O-K
No Lister ok is never a threat no matter how many a's you put on the end.

 

[Ennaybur]

The time for talking is over. Now call it extreme if you like, but I propose we hit it hard, and we hit it fast, with a major, and I mean major, leaflet campaign.

cat: CREASE!

Time is a great healer. Unless, it's a rash, then you're better off with ointment. -- Holly



[Robot Kryten's space corp directives]

No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex in zero gravity

Any officer caught sniffing the saddle of the excercise bicycle in the women's gym will be discharged without trial.

By joining SpaceCorp, each individual tacitly consents to give up his inalienable rights to life, liberty, and adequate toilet facilities.

In an emergency situation involving two or more officers of equal rank, seniority will be granted to whichver officer can program a vcr.

Work done by an officer's doppleganger in a parallel universe cannot be claimed as overtime.

During temporal disturbances, no questions shall be raised about any crewmember whose timesheet shows him or her clocking off 187 years before he clocked on.

Kryten: "Well, Space Corps Directive 195 clearly states that in an emergency power situation, a holo-grammatic crew member must lay down his life in order that the living crew members might survive."
Rimmer: "Yes, but Rimmer Directive 271 states just as clearly, "No chance you metal bastard
-- Kryten



i just want to say that over the years iv come to regard u as... people iv met = rimmer


yay inner nerdchild released... now i have an insatiable urge to whip out the old vids .. hehehe thanx comrades

 

[electric_six]

Give quiche a chance- thats not really a quote more of a slogan on Rimmer's shirt, but i thought it was funny anyway.

 

[stalk_if_u_dare]

Cat - 'time to make myself look BIG!'

 

[biomic]

Rimmer: "They're dead"
Kryton: "But I was only out for a minute!"

When they first found kryton on that ship

Captain: "I'd have it cut up into little pieces and get it sent down to the ships lab"
Lister: "Would you put it back together when youre finished?!"

In reference to Listers cat, season 1

A favourite image of mine though was when that guy combusted and it rained fish, with Rimmer's statement "It really is going to be one of those days isnt it"