Asquithian said:
So you love them...you have sex because you really really really love them...
How do you know that that person is ther person who are going to love for the rest of your life? Do you really know...how do you test that you are going to love them for the rest of your life? Life is dynamic, you cant just suddenly say i will love this person forever...you might in a perfect world but many of us will fall in love more than once in our lives...
We will make mistakes...how are you know that loving someone isnt a mistake?
Dont answer with 'i just know'...or anything to do with God...remember religion is not logical its emotional...try and answer logically not emotionally.
How do I know I will love that person for the rest of my life? Because I made that decision the day that I marry her! "Forsaking all others" is one of the things I say, and it is something I will stick to. She is the one person I truly care about and know deeply, so I will not leave her just because some other person comes a long.
Obviously I dont have the rest of my life mapped out and I cant be sure of what will happen so nothing is certain. But I have the experience of all those who have made the same choices before me. My parents made the same decision i have made, and after about 26 years of marriage theyre still going strong.
Granted not everybody is the same, but if what you say about needing to have sex before marriage is true, I know a lot of people who should have had a lot of problems that don't. I have a lot of examples of people who chose the same path and do not have problems. So I have confidence that I can be the same.
Asquithian said:
that is so grounded in fantacy land its not funny.
"Sex is a major part of marriage"...but if she cant satisfy you if wont devalue her? POSSIBLY...BUT you will be very sexually frustrated and as most studies find sexual regularity is linked to happyness.
Relgion...emotional rather than logical.
What about all those people who for one reason or another have a life of celebasy forced upon them? Human beings are amazing creatures. When forced to live a lifestyle contrary to what is natural, they can adapt. Sex is only a nessecity for those people who can have it.
Asquithian said:
marriage is really just a formality consolidating legal ties between partners. Its a serious thing with many legal and financial responsibilties.
To say that after you have sex there is nothing more is a bit rich...so you can run out off exciting stuff in relationship.
So you get married and you finally have sex....you have lotsa of sex...you get bored...suddenly the marriagle isnt special...people get bored with sex while they are still married just like they do when they are not married...its just when sex gets boring after 3 months of marriage that people get divorces or commit adultary.
Id prefer to get that period over and done with before getting married...its about getting to know your partner before taking serious joint economic and legal responsibility.
If you do not understand Christianity, it is impossible for you to understand marriage. You see marriage as a legal binding. It is that now. But in my honest opinion, I wish the church never forced marriage (or itself) onto a pagan society because now marriage is no longer seen as a gift from God because most marriages are now conducted without him.
Marriage is a gift of God. It is symbolic of Christ's love for his church. That is a relationship which is so intimate and so strong that nothing can break it. For two people who love God to get married, it is symbolising they they are making the same level of commitment. They are not going to go chasing after the next best thing.
Sex isn't the be all and end all of marriage. As I said before, if i could not have sex with my wife I would still love her. If I got bored with having sex with my wife, I would still love her. Because of the decision I made to love her like christ loves me, I would love her no matter what.
Life itself is not all about sex. Sex has 2 functions:
1. It feels good. As with all things that feel good, you can have two much of it. Eventually its not going to feel like it once did. Especially if you do it a lot. Of course sex will get boring fast if you do it all the time. That would happen to anything. Thats why you have to take it slow and enjoy what it is.
2. To have children. Can you imagine if everytime you had sex you fell pregnant? You wouldnt want to do it very often
Sex can be boring if you dont want to have children because you are only doing half the job it is designed for.
You do not make a lifetime commitment for three months of pleasure. When you make a decision as big as marriage, you do not call it quits whenever the feeling goes. If your only in it for the feeling, then dont get married. You are not going to be together forever with that attitude. But hey I guess thats what you want.
Asquithian said:
its oversimplified and an easy answer...its like asnwer a question with 'i just know' or 'i feel like it'
1. Children come from sex...divine intervention is ribbish...if you believe that...stop and think...think really hard about how much that sounds like a fairy tail.
Abstinance has never worked. Saying STD's will decreased and teen preganancies will decrease when you tell kids not to have sex JUST DOESNT WORK.
it may work personally for you because you have blind unquestioning faith in the bible (a book written by chinese whispers) but for the rest of society it rarely works.
Sometimes easy answers are the best. Take bush medicine for example. Would you ever think to go to a tree, scrunch up its leaves and smell them to cure a cold? No. We always try to complicate things.
I know you dont (and a lot of other people dont either) believe in divine conception, but I do. And it doesn't bother me that you don't. It's hard to believe. But I believe in a God who is capable of raising people from the dead, and as such is capable of doing it. I said it as a semi-joke anyway.
If i tell my kids not to have sex, they will probably do it. I wasnt sugguesting that anyone needs abstainance. I was say the simple fact that if noone had sex, then diseases wouldnt spread and people wouldnt get pregnant. I never said it was something people could do. But if you are denying the fact that without sex STD's and unwanted pregnancies wouldnt happen, I think you need to think loligically.
My faith is not unquestionable... considering I had to question it to put my faith in it. The bible is not a book of chinese whispers. I think you need to do a bit of reasearch from people who are not totally opposed to christianity. You'll find the opposition makes up as many things as they claim the bible does.
Just because I believe in God, it doesn't mean I can be abstinant for my entire life! Do you think it would be easy to say no if someone you were keen on came up to you and said lets do it right here right now? Hell no. It would be hard but I would have to say no because I want to respect whoever it is I marry. Although it may be her, I wouldnt take a chance.
Asquithian said:
Dont look now but it is dictating how you act.
You know the truth? How can you know the truth if you have faith in it. How can you question something if you have total faith in it? You cannot successfully question something if you have total faith in it...if you already know the answer before you even try to question it?
You are not restricted by the rules because you dont challenge them and are happy to accept them.
You ALWAYS use this point. I keep telling you that you CAN question what you have faith in and MUST question it otherwise you have faith for no reason. Before you put your faith in something you must question why you would. Why do you believe what you believe? If you were shown two black boxes, one had eternal salvation the other had eternal condemnation, which box would you chose? You must choose one and you must have a reason for choosing it. Obviously you have to question why you would pick one box over the other!
How can I break rules which don't exist? For there to be rules there has to be something I have to do before I can not do it. When there is something I HAVE to do, it isnt christianity, it is religion. I am not happy to accept religion, but I am happy to live how I want which is also happens to be in accordance with what the church values.
Asquithian said:
Spoiled...taking the easy way out? They think their life is tough without considering that people in other parts of the world do it much tougher and are happy. We demand alot from some of our teenagers these days...we have serious responsibities...for some people many more than in past generations.
I think our teenagers should have it told to them...not sugar coated in a perfect world relgious fairy tail not often doesnt occur for most people.
They find out the church is a lie and has been lying to them for a long time?
Getting pissed? at a party is fun because people like to escape from the realities...most people can remember the night before.
much like how people like to go to church and surround them with other people who can agree and reaffirm their belief in a peer pressure surrounding.
Cowardly? You dare to call people who commit sucide cowardly? You said it yourself they are under a lot of pressure. Some people cant handle pressure as well as others because of a chemical imbalence in the brain. For someone whos mind convinces them things are a million times worse then they are to crack under the pressure you call it cowardly?!
The church lies? Im glad I dont go to any of those such churches! I find it hard to lie about something that so obviously says these people form 2000 years ago are just like you. They have the same social issue the same confusion and desires as you, they just lived elswhere. When you start making up lies you are telling the world about your own personal brand of Jesus, and that is not what the bible is about.
Thats interesting... parties/bars are churches in themselves. I've been told that and I can see how its true.
Asquithian said:
These years should be great because it is when we learn and when we decide our own values and what is right and wrong. To have it fed and to accept it is dangerous.
You do not need to be fed whats right and wrong. You have your own sense of decency to tell you that. You think murder is wrong, you think rape is wrong, you think lots of things are wrong. Not because you were fed it from an institution, but because you knew it all along.
We do not need to be told what is right and whats wrong because we have been given a sense of justice.
