Rules for Customers (4 Viewers)

[happy cup]

I have 3 from today
- When you ask me a question and I tell you that I'm on training and it's my second day, don't roll your eyes at me and get angry. I can't learn everything straight away.
- If you ask for a price check and I ask someone to check it, don't decide 5 mins later that the wait is too long and to leave it (unless you're in a rush). Don't waste our time!
- If you need a trolley to put a bike you're carrying in, wait until we can arrange one for you. Don't dumb the bike at the entrance and storm off all pissed off. We're not trolley people!

 

[waterfowl]

Myer continued....
13. I don't care if I've lost a sale; I told you that I don't know anything about the fridges and the only person that does is with customers at the moment. Just be patient...you would probably expect to spend a while asking questions about the fridges yourself, so just wait, and if you don't want to: I don't care. One lost sale doesn't affect me very much.
14. Don't ask me to price match, if you saw it cheaper at another store buy it at that store! The ONLY reason you may have for price matching is if you have a staff discount and/or a MyerOne card...and ONLY if the product is over at least $200

 

[MoonlightSonata]

Myer continued...
15. Do not ask me, in a rude and obnoxious fashion, for immediate assistance when I am carrying a pile of boxes that I can barely see over from one side of the floor to the other.
16. Do not swipe your card over and over before you are required to do so, overzealous shopping nuts!

 

[waterfowl]

Myer continued...
15. Do not ask me, in a rude and obnoxious fashion, for immediate assistance when I am carrying a pile of boxes that I can barely see over from one side of the floor to the other.
16. Do not swipe your card over and over before you are required to do so, overzealous shopping nuts!

I can't believe I forgot those two!

Extension on 16. "Swipe Card" when I've asked if you have FlyBuys is for the FlyBuys card, not EFTPOS

 

[waterfowl]

RULE FOR STAFF:

When you ask me how I am, at least put some feeling into it, instead of talking in that dead-pan monotone with minimal/no eye contact.

If you can't do this, don't speak to me at all and hope to God I'm not a mystery shopper.

Speak to us nicely, we speak to you nicely!
Mystery shoppers don't come into my department.

 

[^CoSMic DoRiS^^]

a few more...

*dont ask me if i work here. Of course i work here!!! do you think i just get a kick out of wearing the uniform or something? morons!!!
* dont be rude to me in any way, especially when im being nice to you, or i will hunt you down on my lunch break and kill you.
* if you want something on a high shelf, ASK for help and i will get it for you! dont pull down the display that i spent 14 hrs arranging, just ask for help!! its not hard...
* when the little blue sign is up that says "register closed" thats what it means. it doesnt mean you can chuck it away, barge up to me with 4 trolleys of crap and demand i serve you.

 

[waterfowl]

Subway continued:
3. Don't accuse people of over charging and stealing from you when your fat children get charged for the double meat, bacon and double cheese they order for their sandwhich. You normally pay less because by the end of the product line it has been forgotten that you got bacon, double cheese etc. Don't be a bitch and call the server a thief when they have properly charged you; and especially don't say that you know the owner and you will tell them about the alleged thievery, because they are the only ones who would actually benefit from such thievery!

 

[moffat]

lol.this thread brings back so many memories. here's mine for checkout- kmart
1. if u spill ur drink all over the floor.don't just walk away and pretend it didn't happen
2. if ur kid feels sick. take them outside. who cares if it means you have to come back and queue up again. we don't appreciate having to put up with the sight and smell of vomit all over the floor in between the checkouts.
3. if i ask u if u have flybuys. don't ignore me...wait till i finish the sale and then yell at me for not waiting for u to answer the question.
4. don't complain how the information saying something is not included on the 20% off sign was inconveniently in small print.
5. don't chuck a fit because you have to wait for a price check and then tell me u have to pick up ur poor little boy from soccer practice and that he's going to be scared and lonely if i don't just discount the item without checking it first.
6. if i greet u by saying 'hi, how's it going?' don't respond by saying 'hi, how's it going?' it creates awkwardness
7. don't chuck a fit because u don't have time for me to serve the person in front of u. we have queues for a reason.
8. don't complain that the store is a mess. customers mess up our store, not staff.
9. if it doesn't have a barcode then we can't scan it. it doesn't matter if u know how much it costs...we can't just type in a price without a barcode

 

[braindrainedAsh]

Woah, some of you guys have no tolerance for customers.... some people can't help being stupid ya know lol.

Anyway, some of the things that annoy me are really pretentious customers... no matter how much you kissed their butts they would criticize your service or something. I always try and be genuinely nice to people I am serving so this really irritates me.

I also dislike it when customers are pains just for the sake of being pains.

Also, when customers tell you how to do your job, or question you. E.g. people acting as if you won't know how to make a good latte despite you making 50 coffees in the past 2 hours, or this lady once went psycho because I had to swipe her credit card twice because it was a bad read the first time.... then she started accusing me of charging her card twice. I explained it to her, and she was still going crazy, so I had to get the head cashier to explain it, and she still didn't believe us!

In hospitality, it is really annoying when people (like, grown adults) get food everywhere!!! Like, can't you eat like respectible human beings! Sometimes small children make less mess than the adults. I don't mind cleaning up after kids, but the grown ups should know better!

Also, dealing with drunk customers can be such a pain. People can be so annoying without realizing it when they are drunk, they think they are being funny!

 

[jumb]

Just because someone uses a register, it doesn't mean they're there to serve you, if they do, they would look up and tell you to come to them.

 

[Atticus.]

Just because someone uses a register, it doesn't mean they're there to serve you, if they do, they would look up and tell you to come to them.

yeh damm straight! im working at the cookers, does it look like its my job to serve you on the counters? FUCK NO! im 18 dickhead, im not getting paid 17 an hour to serve you, ill cook it for you but i dont care to hear your voice stammer and stutter because your one of those annoying ummers and ahhhers.
in fact im not sure why you arnt dead. hitler should have gassed all ummers and ahhhers instead of all the other people he tried to kill... good concept, just the wrong cross section of society.



ok ok im kidding

 

[yenta]

(from when i worked in a deli)

- we charge $9.95 for our bbq chickens. Sure it's probably a bit expensive (i thought so myself), but don't complain for 10 minutes about the price to me when a)i can't do anything about it, and b)you can easily fuck off somewhere else to buy your stupid chicken, we'd rather not have bitchy people like you as our business.

- (although stated numerous times before in this thread) don't fucking talk on your mobile while i'm serving you!!!!!!!!!! fuck that is the rudest thing you can do

- don't be a picky fuckwit and demand that I get the slices of ham that are underneath, making me go to 3 times the effort just to get your precious ham. They are all the fucking same, they were all sliced at the same time and the ones below aren't any fresher than the ones on top.

- DON'T THROW ALL YOUR CHANGE ON THE COUNTER AND MAKE ME SPEND 30 MINUTES COLLECTING IT. MY HAND IS OUTSTRETCHED FOR A REASON

- when you ask me if we have something, and i have to go check in the cool room, don't get pissed off because you have to wait 2 more minutes. And if I come back and we don't have what you want, don't just get the shits and storm off, i went to a lot of fucking trouble to look for you, even though i didn't have to. UNAPPRECIATIVE FUCK!

- don't be a cheaparse and make me go to the effort of getting you 1 olive, 1 sliced of salami and 1 slice of cheese, adding up to $1.60 (this actually happened...wtf?)

- don't get pissed off at us because we don't take eftpos when there's an ATM 20 fucking metres away.

- if you're old and deaf, stay away, i don't want to be shouting to you 40 times just to tell you how much your stuff is

- Use your goddamn manners. If you say "give me 4 slices of smoked ham" (especially in a grumpy tone) i will get the shits not be nice to you. It doesn't take a lot of effort to say please and smile a little now does it?

- Don't try to haggle with us (directed mainly at the Asian ladies who come around). We are not a chinese market, we are a shop in australia, and we have set prices. If you don't like it don't fucking shop here

- Don't be annoying and make me cut your bbq chicken into 8 pieces, or cut your chicken breast in half, which takes me ages meanwhile there is a huge line of people waiting to be served when you can do it yourself at home lazy retards

- Stop paying with 50 fucking dollar notes. Grrr we ALWAYS ran out of change because people think we are a bank with and endless supply of change when in fact WE ARE NOT. Also, be helpful and give us correct change or at least a helpful amount (e.g. if it's $10.40 and you have a $20 note, give us 40 more cents so we don't have to waste all our change on you)

- Keep your shitty little kids away from me. I don't understand why the fuck people need to bring their screaming kids into a mall which pisses everyone off. Also (this happened to me), shut your fucking 10 yr old up or else i smack him one (he had said, when i went to put all their shit in a bag, "NO WE DON'T NEED A BAG" in a very rude and disrespectful tone)

- In general, treat me like an actual person because, surprise surprise, I am one, not your goddamn slave

 

[Atticus.]

My Complete set of rules, let it be known that if you break them i will immediatly put a curse on you that will ensure that wild animals eat your children. if you have no children, the next time you have sex the condom will break and you will fall pregnant and after your children are born wild tigers will come to the hospital and THEN eat you children... this is on top of any punishment prescribed in the rules...

FRESH FISH AND FISH AND CHIP SHOP

1. dont ask me what is in a dimsim or i will actually tell you. then after ive told you dont act like i make the fucking things.

2. dont come into the shop and ask me for a fish that has fins ALL FISH HAVE FUCKING FINS

3. dont order a fuck load of shit then ask me if you can pay on card... i would have thought the 82634648 signs around the shop that say NO EFTPOS AVAILABLE would have given you the idea that you infact cannot pay on card

4. do not think your funny by ordering a piece of puffer fish. yes i know its poisonous and yes ive heard that joke before you twat

5. do not ever click at me and call me boy. i wll plunge your head in the deep fryer if you do

6. do not think that just because you eat at maccas everyday you will get your food in under 3 mins. your an obeses fuck anyway get out of my shop

7. in general do not come into the shop, i still get paid even if no one comes in!




8. no i do not want to hear your life story and how you have been coming to bermagui since you were 9 and now you 67 and no i definatly do not care that you are here for you sons wedding and i dont care that his name is brad and hes a top fisherman and i dont really give a fuck that you think john howard is a good prime minister in general unless i know you i am not your friend. i dont care to hear what happened to you on the weekend ESPECIALLY when there are seven hundred and ninety six people behind you waiting to be served. if you presume to tell me all this, yes i will cut out your tongue with a spoon so it hurts more then proceed to deep fry it, put it with some chips, vomit blood on them and then give it to you. $8.90 Thankyou

9 * if you do spit on me while you are making your order, i will reel in disgust so dont be offended you twat, your the one who spat on me

10* if you are drunk and you order food yes you do actually have to pay for it

11* if you are unemployed, on the dole, smell like the inside of a camels rectum, spend all your money on smack and metho, then no you will not be receiving a free meal. i do not care if your heroin addicted prostitue girlfriend is pregnant, you should have withdrawn before you blew. its not my fault that she will soon be having your bastard child. your only going to sell it to by more smack and metho anyway you vagrant...

12* if you are unimpressed by your food and the small quantites of it DO NOT throw it at me or yes you will find yourself with a broken nose and a hungry stomach...

13* no the fish colloqiually called "dolphin fish" is not dolphin! DO NOT TELL ME THAT WE SHOULD CALL IT SOMETHING ELSE BECAUSE PEOPLE WILL GET CONFUSED. hey dickhead, you are the only person ever to actually think that it was dolphin. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SHOP

14* if you liken me to the soup nazi from seinfield i will not find it amusing.

15* do NOT tell me that we cook grilled fish and you got it here yesterday. do not claim that you know it was grilled because it had the grill lines on the fish. what did we cook it on you dopy bitch? the bun toaster? plus i was working here yesterday and YOU didnt come in. stop trying to scam me.

16* do not tell me that you have been coming here for 25 years and the fish has never been that small. the place has only been open 10 you lying old dick. go take a nap

17* do not presume that i speek cantonese, japanese, hungarian, french, german, lithuanian, mongolian, flemmish, russian or innuet. im not C3P0 from starwars. Piss off

18* do not come in thinking you are all clever, hand me a ten wait for me to give you your change and then claim you gave me a 50. there are no fiftys in the till. fuck off before i throw a newly cooked chiko roll at you head

19* dont think i cant see you when you try to steal icecreams. and dont think ill let you get away with it.

20* if your moderatly famous, your name is vannessa amorossi and your a pompous bitch, you will not receive service before people who have been here waiting longer. in fact i dont even want to serve you, your music pisses me off. i hate you no chips for you

21* if your name is daniel bell the australian idol reject and you come into the shop with chanel cole, also an idol reject you have to laugh at my jokes when i say chanel is better than you and that she wil have a career and you wont. you also have to take it in your stride when i flirt with chanel for fun. no you cant give me dirty looks, what are you going to do? write a song about me? no one will listen to it anyway you failure of a human being

22* im working at the cookers, does it look like its my job to serve you on the counters? FUCK NO! im 18 dickhead, im not getting paid 17 an hour to serve you, ill cook it for you but i dont care to hear your voice stammer and stutter because your one of those annoying ummers and ahhhers.
in fact im not sure why you arnt dead. hitler should have gassed all ummers and ahhhers instead of all the other people he tried to kill... good concept, just the wrong cross section of society.

 

[Lu Lu]

More rules for pharmacy:
*If i am having trouble reading your name or address off the script don't make a crappy joke about doctors writing as I heard it about 300000000000000 times.
*Please don't get shitty at me if you have to wait it because the pharmacist is doing there job
*If i am sweeping, mopping, vacuuming or any other form of toucher its because i am being paid and i would not ‘Clean the floor at your house' if ya paid me a million dollars
*When i say eat something with the tablet its not because i think your hungry its because it says so on the box and you don't look like you can read
*If you wave at me through the front door when we are closed it wont make me open the shop
*If you are a dirty arse methadone client and you are asking for credit because you can't pay today because you spent all your money on drugs on the weekend we still wont give you credit
* when you ask for 300 pseudoephedrine tablets and we say no its because we don't want you to make speed with them

Sorry four long years working in a chemist has made me very nasty.

 

[Hippy La-Laa]

- don't be a cheaparse and make me go to the effort of getting you 1 olive, 1 sliced of salami and 1 slice of cheese, adding up to $1.60 (this actually happened...wtf?)

Heh. I do that to seafood shops. I did it last Christmas during the really hectic hours of Christmas Eve, got my little ticket and then asked for one prawn. The woman just looked at me and said '1 kg of prawn?'.
Me: No. Just one prawn. Single prawn.


I eventually got my prawn- a whole 70c worth.

I did it a second time and the guy felt sorry for my cat so he let me have it for free..

 

[kirabolton]

i've never worked in a deli but i don't find it annoying when customers do things like that... but...yeah i suppose it's because i don't see it all the time. I just find it kind of wierd. Ok. I'm not making sense. Go Away.

 

[kalli]

I dont think theres been a call centre yet so ill put up a few rules...


Call Centre

1. Please dont tell me your whole life story... just tell me what the problem is and ill attempt to fix it... we have call times we HAVE to stick to!

2. Get your screaming kids out of the room please

3. Please dont drop the phone on something hard (instant headache) or (like some loser did last night) please dont put the phone up to the mobile to see if i can hear the dialtone... the feedback is unbearable

4. Dont tell me i have to fix your problem if its clearly stated in the contract i dont have to support certain things (didnt you read the terms and conditions?)

5. If you came through to the wrong department by pushing the wrong buttons, dont complain when i cant help you about your bill enquiry

6. If you dont know where the start button is i can talk to you like ure a ten year old

7. Dont get all bitchy when i wont discuss account information with you when u are not listed as authorised on the account... you could be some stranger off the street wanting a free username and password!


anyways thats all i can think about off the top of my head... oh one more

8. Dont ask to be put through to a male because you have the stereotypical view that women dont know anything technical... grrr!!!


eidt: if you get a really helpful person at a call centre, give them a compliment (email or whatever) or ask to speak to their supervisor for a compliment... we get bonuses for it!

 

[waterfowl]

if you get a really helpful person at a call centre, give them a compliment (email or whatever) or ask to speak to their supervisor for a compliment... we get bonuses for it!

Give any service person you believe was really helpful a compliment to their supervisor / manager! The only people who seem to tell managers about your service are disgruntled assholes who only want to complain, who the managers generally ignore anyway.
Compliments are really appreciated!

 

[chelzmalee]

More rules for checkouts/corner stores (Some may have already been posted, but I'd like to enforce these!!!)

1. DO NOT come in at 6:30am on a sunday and buy a newspaper worth $1.40 and pay with a $100 note and expect me to have decent change. Same applies to tic tacs and gum.

2. If you ask for say, $6.00 of devon, I give you ROUGHLY $6.00 of devon (say, $5.92) and charge you $5.92 for it, don't expect me to rip up sliced devon for you so it amounts to EXACTLY $6.00 worth.

3. Don't give me the change you scraped out from the ashtray and expect me to just stick it in the register. I WILL count it out and YOU WILL wait while I ensure you are correct.

4. Don't complain to me that you can buy it cheaper at Woolies or Bunnings. If it's cheaper elsewhere, GO ELSEWHERE. I'm not worried, I still get paid $10.91/hr.

5. I ask for ID for cigs for a reason. Don't come in every day for a week without ID or with fake ID and expect me not to ask for it. If you look 13, the chances are you actually are 13.

6. No, I don't know where every product in the store is.

7. Yes, sometimes we run out of newspapers around 1pm. No, we can't order more on sundays as the newsagent closes at 12. Come in earlier like everyone else, or ask us to reserve you a copy.

8. No, I don't have 8 arms, and I can only serve one person at a time. If you're in a rush, that's not my problem. I'm working as quick as possible.

9. Don't get cash out via EFT and expect me to give you $50 divided into 1 $20, 2 $10, 1 $5 and the rest in 50c peices. I will give you a $50 note.

10. (in addition to the above) We DON'T have an endless supply of change. If you need specific denominations in change, GO TO A BANK.

11. When I ask you how you are, ANSWER ME. Don't just look at me, or say "Don't ask me how I am, that's what those silly girls at Franklins do". MAYBE I'm genuinely interested in your wellbeing?!?!?!

12. DON'T tell me the supermarket scanning code about how if it's labeled at a certain price it has to be sold at that price. I KNOW. It's not my fault you're blind and looked at the wrong label.

 

[_muse_]

*cough* if your under 18 and im working on customer service and you want to buy spray paint.. i wont give it to you. I dont care if we used to be in the same grade or u "left your ID in your car" i wont buy it and i WONT give you the spray paint.. so DONT write out a customer complaint form saying im crap because your underage and werent allowed to get your stupid spray paint.