school captain speeches!!! (1 Viewer)

[eliseliselise]

for those of you who do not know me.... you dont know what you're missing out on.

i've noticed a few threads re: school leadership/captaincy roles & im aware that some schools arent making nominees present a speech but... mine is!! [along with many other schools, i assume ]

soo! what are some timeless one-liners that have been used in past school captain speeches that have really brought the house down??

over the years... here are the best ones i can remember.

"i never did much sport for the school, as my career was cut short due to a lack of talent!!"

"and now - a quote from one of the world's greatest leaders... ALBUS DUMBLEDORE..!!"

& then there was another lass who spoke about her passion for constructing unflattering body suits as a career option.

well AT THE TIME... they were genuine thigh-slappers, but i think it all boils down to how you say it. im thinking of going for a light-hearted Anna Coren kinda voice? & giving random audience members a transcript of my speech, indicating the appropriate times to laugh, stand up, cheer, chant etc.

oh & im not asking anyone to write my speech or anything [as its already written..] but seeking inspiration that could add colour to both my speech & others'.

 

[eliseliselise]

bump!

 

[Aerath]

Let's just say - you'd need to have a lot of balls [pardon the phrase] to do a Captain's speech. And LOL at Anna Coren voice.

 

[ticky2002]

Is it even about you? - or it's simply a random speech? :S

 

[eliseliselise]

Is it even about you? - or it's simply a random speech? :S

bahah! its a school captain speech! "why should I be school captain???" & u need to give some personal background info, extracurricular activities etc.. im not going to bother with that though... just impart my "vision" for the school etc...

anyone got any good one-liners?? eh eh???
happy last 8 minutes of 08/08/08

 

[Bobness]

I accelerate in 4u maths. I also do all sciences.

So you can see i like animals. Vote 1 fur!




























Elise that is *cue music*

edit: ps guys i have OCD, and in these last 18.8 seconds i'm going to do a little jig.

 

[eliseliselise]

I accelerate in 4u maths. I also do all sciences.

So you can see i like animals. Vote 1 fur!















Elise that is *cue music*

edit: ps guys i have OCD, and in these last 18.8 seconds i'm going to do a little jig.

-cue collective fruit and vegetable throwing AT ELISE-

i like to let the school population think i undertake the challenging courses... like cafs, hospitality, pottery, needlework etc- practical things...the "cool" subjects.

i think this speech might need a nautical theme...

ahoy!!! my name's elise --- & TODAY... my little spiel on why i should b school captain has a nautical theme!

captains.

ships.

the 2 work together, hand in hand.

& i, hvgs... wish to be your captain

omg...

and then i can pay my little sister and all her friends to stand up on their chairs towards the end of the speech & yell "oh captain my captain!!!" a la dead poet's society.

ok. i can do this.





bobness, i appreciate your feedback. i am taking it on board, & may utilise it at some point throughout my career.


anyone else have any suggestions??

thanks

 

[bored of sc]

Ever felt as if you're education has been in vain? Ever seen the problems of our school ignored? Ever heard the complaints of students and how in return the staff divert the complication? Ever tasted the bitter over the sweet? Tell me, ladies and gentlemen, students; have you ever inhaled the strong scent of defeat?

 

[jazzbaby]

at the end say " now you all better vote for me... if you dont, I KNOW WHAT SCHOOL YOU GO TO!"

haha

 

[eliseliselise]

Ever felt as if you're education has been in vain? Ever seen the problems of our school ignored? Ever heard the complaints of students and how in return the staff divert the complication? Ever tasted the bitter over the sweet? Tell me, ladies and gentlemen, students; have you ever inhaled the strong scent of defeat?

stroke of pure genius!! you are a poet, & i hope u know it

at the end say " now you all better vote for me... if you dont, I KNOW WHAT SCHOOL YOU GO TO!"

haha

lol!!

thankyouu!!

 

[jazzbaby]

lol you are welcome haha

good luck with the speech and hope you get captain

 

[clintmyster]

we just had our speeches recently and the one liner i remember was this one guy who went, "the principal told us to not make a speech about how cool we are so i had to rewrite my speech!"

we all cracked up

good luck!

 

[marcquelle]

The two captains at our school last started like this:

the Boy : I'm a folder not a scruncher and ended with vote 1 mutton chops
the girl: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! now that i have your attention.

I suggest dress up if you can if not color your hair hot pink then everyone will remember you. (with fudge or something)

 

[Aerath]

LOL, Elise. Always the comedian, you are.

 

[eliseliselise]

lol! these are priceless, thanks guyz!!

unfortunately, costumes and hair dying is prohibited/against the law, but... i had this idea inspired by the internet...

ok, so.

_________________________________________

i get up & do my nautical themed speech, & towards the end i have a line that goes something along the lines of...

"it would be a great honour to be the voice of the HMAS HVGS, we shall plant.. our name-"

-flicks hair over shoulder, steps down podium thing, dramatically shoves handicraft school flag with logo into jar of dirt; crowd goes wild/crazy/stands on their chairs 'o captain, my captain!', i return to podium [or whatever its called] & continue, composed.. -

"in soil!! & become known as the greatest ship, ever to cross the ocean of the NSW education system."

____________

how would you react to that??

im not sure about doing that coz people are either going to start laughing hysterically and saying things like "ahahah!! shes so random!! vote one elise!! hahaha!! soil!!! o captain my captain!! vote one captain elise!! haha!!" OR... the whole massive stadium could go silent, with the only sound being my jar of soil with flag flapping in the wind, & then i'd need counselling.


im not sure of my chances actually getting school leader/captain but.. if i dont bore the masses, make 'em laugh & tell 'em what a great person i am.. i might get vice!! -fingers crossed-

thankyouuuu!!!

 

[Aerath]

I'd laugh, and definitely vote for you (unless one of my best friends was also running for captain), purely on the basis that you have balls (pardon the phrase).

 

[asdf.cosmo]

I'm going for captain as well. I don't know about making jokes - whenever I make jokes, they're excessively lame.
Although I do recall having heard a good analogy about ships-
"Being a leader of the school is like being the captain of a ship. You need a good team to help you get from point A to point B"
You could possibly use that as well. Although I do think it's more aimed at the SRC than anything.

 

[bettina44]

its good to be funny but don't overkill it and keep in mind they don't always go to plan.
these were some of mine that i used for my senior mentor speech:

For all of those who know me, well you obviously know who I am, but for those who don’t I’m Bettina and I’m running for senior mentor. As most of you guys aren’t that familiar with me, I’ve spent hours and hours writing this autobiography which I’m going to read to you to get you to know me better.(hold giagantic book)--stuff this bit up as the cover i made kind of fell off and you could tell it was two eco books stuck together

I learnt to be a polite and respectful student striving to the best of my ability. I’m a hard worker who gives everything 110%, well that's what my report says---got a couple of laughs

i can't promise you a swimming pool but there has been a lot of rain lately which has created a really big puddle in the playground, you can always bring your swimmers along and have a splash around there.---also a dud

maybe getting the veronicas to sing at our formal is a little too unrealistic; perhaps I could convince Mrs. Neupuruk,also a veronica herself to sing instead.--this one worked a treat

i guess my speech turned out alright even though my jokes were dodgy but i still got a place as senoir mentor.

 

[lyounamu]

"Beers for those who vote for me"
"Cruisers for the ladies"

/victory.

Yeah~~~~~~~

Captain Exphate!!! (don't forget free beer for me)

 

[eliseliselise]

heyy!!
after a sleepless, fitful night-- i did my speech today!! i was so nervous, with my handicraft school flag & jar of dirt... but it ended up being incredibly well received, people were constantly laughing & afterwards the head of senior school [like. oh. my. god.] congratulated me & so did 5745893742 others!! yessssss!!! successs through endeavourrr!!! anyway, if i get vice/school captain [which is unlikely coz im competing with kids who have been at the school since preschool {which is unnatural imo} & various conversations that may occur behind closed doors]... ill scan my speech, in all it's tacky and scrunched up/creased glory for the benefit of future school captain speech makers.

but now i must concentrate on mathematics trials!! aaah!!

thankyou everyone!!!