The dreaded ex... (1 Viewer)

[Loza33]

My boy and I started going out last year... right at the beginning of the year.. him in year 12, me in yr 11... it was fun, great, new, exciting.... everything was good.. we balanced well... we had heaps of good times.. blah, blah we were

"the quentenessiential high school couple"

We fell in love. Majorly.

But we knew we couldnt do it; he was going to canberra, i was staying in sydney, he had uni, a new life, i had yr 12... and then im going to london...

So we did the logical thing... we broke up on speech day... it hurt... we cried... we talked.. we tried to find a solution.. we had none... basically.. it was hard.

First half of the holidays - we talked.. just like normal.. as if nothing had changed...

Second half - we started to fight.. about past things.. about issues... we didnt talk for 2 months.. i didnt even go to his 18th....

That hurt too

We started to talk again.. i called him.. we chatted.. pretended we had never fought...

He called me... it was normal.. we were 'friends'

He came to school this weekend... it was weird...

From the first second, it was just like normal... our dynamic was exactly the same... nothing had changed.. except now we were 'just friends'

We spent the day together.. we kissed.. a couple of times.. his lips felt exactly the same...

WHAT THE HELL??

I cant do this agian.. we broke up.. i was getting over it.. he was getting over it.. we were fine..

He lives in canberra... im still at school... it wont work.. why cant we let go??

Am i weak? He hurt me... a lot.. i hurt him.. yet we go back to each other??

Plus this guy and i at school were starting to hang out.. we werent together, we hadnt done anything.... but there were rumours.. and we were becoming friends.. and it was hte first time i had seen him in a while coz i had been away... i dont know if he knows.. i like him.. i dont want him to be the rebound guy...

HELP!

 

[i(L)ski]

Ah, the age old topic of the friggen dreaded ex.

IMO it's one of the hardest things you can really ever go through, especially when you guys didn't break up because you no longer liked each other. Being forced to break up because of a shift in geographical location sucks harder than horny drunk emo. It's gonna hurt, for a while.

You say, "why can't we get over this?". It's not just about "getting over it". There's this thing, it's in all of us, lodged there for our entire existence, known as attachment. We have it with our parents (no matter how much we might "hate" them sometimes), we'll have it with our teachers (no matter how much "shit" they talk), and you'll definitly have it with a boyfriend or girlfriend of any lengthy period. Such as yours. It's not something which you can just deal with, it's more than that. This is about conditioning your mind to understand why it has happened. It's about teaching yourself, through whichever lessons you're learning, that things come and go, often out of your control. It's something which takes a shitload of time, effort, emotional committment and patience to start to grasp, but once you get it, fuck, you'll know about it.

Testing times like the one you speak of, where you see him, kiss him, and become one again are nothing short of traumatic. You want in, but you know you shouldn't. You want out, but your body thinks otherwise. What do you do? You do whatever you feel, that's what. Because no matter which path you take, neither will be wrong. If you go through another level, barrier, or fuckin wall of emotional pain, it won't be for nothing. You will become heightened in terms of dealing with emotional stress, and thus will come out the other side, "blessed and altered" - to quote Shirley Geok-Lin Lim's The Town Where Time Stands Still. If you choose to follow a different path, you will gain insight, and knowledge, which will help you far surpass your peers as to what to do in this situation when it arises again (it's going to, there's no doubting that). Either way, it's not at a loss. Not at this age. We're too young, too lively, and too full of inquisition to be stopped by something like this. It's just a lesson to be learned, on the grand scale of our lives.

Trust me, it hurts now, but soon you will look back, smile, and laugh at how it all panned out.

How do i know this? I went through it one year ago, today. Breaking up from a 24 month relationship is not easy, but living without the lessons i learned over the past 12 months would have been harder. I hope you understand. But if not, i'm sure you will soon..

Hope that helps.

Tristan

 

[carreau]

Yea you're weak.. Time to move on the sooner you do, the sooner things will get better.

So here's what you're going to do..

You're going to invite that guy you like over to your house and let him masturbate on your pillow..

From there things should sort themselves out fine.

 

[jumb]

We fell in love. Majorly.

But we knew we couldnt do it;

Love is about compromise. You couldn't compromise your happiness or the rest of your life for him, so you weren't in love.

He came to school this weekend... it was weird...

Weekend school? That IS weird.

WHAT THE HELL??

He knows if he keeps pushing the "i still luv u" thing, that you will put out. I mean, if he made a trip just to see you, he wouldn't like it if he went home empty handed. (I put that cliche in and was hoping to get a masturbating joke out of it, but I'm drawing a blank )

I'd probably do the same thing.

 

[MrMilk]

was hoping to get a masturbating joke out of it, but I'm drawing a blank )

I'm pretty certain you've done it there!

 

[Jenny1984]

Love is about compromise. You couldn't compromise your happiness or the rest of your life for him, so you weren't in love.

Yes, I agree about this, if one of you dont know how to compromise, your relationship can not be figure out. For example, my boyfriend and i knew each other in Brisbane, at that time, we were uni mates who live in college together, but after he graducated uni last year, we thought the way to be contiuned our relationship, by the time, he found job in Sydney, the only way is i transfer to Sydney, so i did s although uni is not as good as the one i went in Brisbane, i am still happy, at least we can keep our relationship, as for uni stuff, all unis are similar for me. doesnt have any difference.....

By the way, you can ask your boyfriend transfer back to Sydney after 1st year if you really want to keep your relationship.

 

[Jenny1984]

Love is about compromise. You couldn't compromise your happiness or the rest of your life for him, so you weren't in love.

Yes, I am agree about this, if one of you dont know how to compromise, your relationship can not be figure out. For example, my boyfriend and i knew each other in Brisbane, at that time, we were uni mates who live in college together, but after he graducated uni last year, we thought the way to be contiuned our relationship, he found job in Sydney, the only way is i transfer to Sydney, so i did s although uni is not as good as the one i went in Brisbane, i am still happy, at least we can keep our relationship, as for uni stuff, all unis are similar for me. doesnt have any difference.....

By the way, you can ask your boyfriend transfer back to Sydney after 1st year if you really want to keep your relationship.

 

[ccc123]

Love is about compromise. You couldn't compromise your happiness or the rest of your life for him, so you weren't in love.

Yes, I am agree about this, if one of you dont know how to compromise, your relationship can not be figure out. For example, my boyfriend and i knew each other in Brisbane, at that time, we were uni mates who live in college together, but after he graducated uni last year, we thought the way to be contiuned our relationship, he found job in Sydney, the only way is i transfer to Sydney, so i did s although uni is not as good as the one i went in Brisbane, i am still happy, at least we can keep our relationship, as for uni stuff, all unis are similar for me. doesnt have any difference.....

By the way, you can ask your boyfriend transfer back to Sydney after 1st year if you really want to keep your relationship.

What you said