The time-old "Just Be Yourself" advice (1 Viewer)

[Cookie182]

To those who still love to pull out the "Just Be Yourself" adage whenever anyone mention's relationship advice, this article should prove an interesting read-

Why Not "Just Be Yourself"

Sure you could say it's marketing for their own service, but I think it makes some strong points about the utter fallacy that undermines that statement.

Discuss

Edit: Some classic examples of this advice being given out can be seen widely across BOS (particular reference to NorthRiversMatt's posts). My favourite part of the JBY advocates is their follow up lines, as highlighted by the article- ""You just have to be patient and eventually you'll meet someone who's right for you" and "And if it doesn't work out between you and her, than it wasn't meant to be". Which basically translates without the euphemisms to: Give the fuck up and HOPE that something will one day happen to you, i.e. operate from a needy, desperate frame of scarcity as opposed to a frame of happiness and abundance. I wonder which one is more attractive?

 

[hermand]

To those who still love to pull out the "Just Be Yourself" adage whenever anyone mention's relationship advice, this article should prove an interesting read-

Why Not "Just Be Yourself"

Sure you could say it's marketing for their own service, but I think it makes some strong points about the utter fallacy that undermines that statement.

Discuss

Edit: Some classic examples of this advice being given out can be seen widely across BOS (particular reference to NorthRiversMatt's posts). My favourite part of the JBY advocates is their follow up lines, as highlighted by the article- ""You just have to be patient and eventually you'll meet someone who's right for you" and "And if it doesn't work out between you and her, than it wasn't meant to be". Which basically translates without the euphemisms to: Give the fuck up and HOPE that something will one day happen to you, i.e. operate from a needy, desperate frame of scarcity as opposed to a frame of happiness and abundance. I wonder which one is more attractive?

haha.

it is true. women read about it monthly, multiple times if they get more than one magazine. obviously just being yourself won't work if it hasn't before.

i don't think it needs hardcore study or anything, just a bit of intuition into what women like, even if that means just grabbing one of those trashy magazines once or twice.

hmm. good post though.

 

[kevinx2]

Life's too short to be someone else

 

[Graney]

I guess the PUA thing is okay, if that's what you want to do and it's really important to you.

What I'm really sick of is the smug superiority they give off that they are the holders of 'the one true way', that they're so much better and smarter than any other guy who's ever lived.

The thing is, for myself and I'm sure it's true for many other guys, is we just don't care.

There are a million more fun and productive things I'm putting off that I'd rather do before I learn about sarging. It's a waste of time. I don't do it, because I'm mature enough to realize banging a succession of HB8's isn't the most important thing in life.

It's nothing, I don't need to try to prove I'm more powerful and more attractive than other guys in order to feel content with myself. That's a dead end game you can never win.

The whole philosophy behind the PUA culture is backwards, it's the bankrupt spiritual movement for the consumer culture of the 21st century. Your inner life is everything, beyond fulfilling basic needs, the external is nothing when it comes to creating happiness.

Being happy and content with yourself is what's really important, and that is a huge battle for most people. I get the impression the whole pick-up movement is filled with guys struggling to be happy with who they are. The movement is a destructive step backwards from being happy with themselves. It's really sad.

They would do well to heed the advice "just be youself", it's the first step to true contentment and being happy with who you are.

 

[be.yourself]

Just Be Yourself.