would you change 4 someone else? (1 Viewer)

[ElGronko]

Your appearance is an aesthetic reflection of who you are.

the way that he dresses is an aesthetic projection of himself.

Your boyfriend has the right idea!

 

[azzie]

Oh people will grow and change etc and that happens though your life.

But, for one- take the case study that is my parents.
They've been together for 20 years, and they've changed since they were at high school/uni when they met. But that doesn't mean they've changed in such a way that it's better for both of them. They constantly fight and bicker, picking on aspects of each others personality that they say has "always" annoyed them.

In this regard, I see the most practical thing to do is find someone who annoys you as little as possible- someone who dresses the way you like, acts in a manner which you find charming and such, treats you the way you want to be treated.

If you don't address those niggling little points, you can end up like my parents- they blissfully chose not to address the warning signs, and are now in a relationship which I think would be best solved by prolonged periods appart. Preferably in different countries.

 

[ujuphleg]

Haha, my parents are the same.

Cept they do spend prolonged periods of time apart in different countries and the funniest bit is that Dad always looks so relaxed and young when he comes home. Then Mum will serve up a lecture and the lines will appear on his face again.

 

[Serius]

Maybe a little bit, with things i dont view as core to myself. Shave more often? sure why not. Dress stylishly and stop being a slob and wearing the same t-shirt 2 days straight? could take some effort but if its ultimately to bennefit me and i get some help i would probably eventually be up for it. Start sending money to peta? sorry.

 

[cerpin taxt]

Oh people will grow and change etc and that happens though your life.

But, for one- take the case study that is my parents.
They've been together for 20 years, and they've changed since they were at high school/uni when they met. But that doesn't mean they've changed in such a way that it's better for both of them. They constantly fight and bicker, picking on aspects of each others personality that they say has "always" annoyed them.

In this regard, I see the most practical thing to do is find someone who annoys you as little as possible- someone who dresses the way you like, acts in a manner which you find charming and such, treats you the way you want to be treated.

If you don't address those niggling little points, you can end up like my parents- they blissfully chose not to address the warning signs, and are now in a relationship which I think would be best solved by prolonged periods appart. Preferably in different countries.

right, that's one example of where two people haven't put any effort into accommodating eachother's changes, which doesn't have to happen. if there were heaps of things and habits that annoyed me about my girlfriend i just wouldn't want to be with her.

my parents rarely have serious fights, have been together since they were like 14 years old, and are very very different people. they don't seemed to have necessarily addressed parts of themselves they don't like - they just seem to fit together.

 

[azzie]

My dear, trust me- things that you think are sweet or cute or just slightly annoying now, will become issues when you get older. They will. I'll pay you ten million if they don't.

So many people say "oh it'll never happen to me" or blah, and that's cute because they're in love and that. But rationally, realistically, we don't stay infatuated or love-struck forever. Translate little habits into 20 years down the track, and you'll see how it looks.
And my parent's aren't rare either- nearly everyone's parents (that I know) are like that (unless their parents are divorced of course).

 

[cerpin taxt]

uhh yeah come back to me when you are 40 years old and slightly less gratingly arrogant

 

[azzie]

uhh yeah come back to me when you are 40 years old and slightly less gratingly arrogant

Haha and you come back when you're 40 and slightly more realistic.


It's nice to be all in love rah rah whatever, but when you're in love, or infatuated, you have a nice rosey view of the world. After you go through a few shocking breakups, you realise life isn't so dandy, and men aren't gentlemen who like you for all you are.

Men either like you because they want to have sex with you, or they've idealised you beyond reality.
It's true.

 

[nwatts]

and of course you are in a position to make a comment like that, because you are a man

haha you're a joke

 

[azzie]

and of course you are in a position to make a comment like that, because you are a man

haha you're a joke

I know that because I've dated men.
I've never met one who's different.


No that's a lie, I have. He's gay.

 

[coldasice]

Nup, never happened to me. Girls either like me or they dont and if they dont like something, they deal with it. What sort of makeup and dress we talking here? slutty? Not enough? Too much?

too much.

but it's alright, we worked things out between us

 

[Atticus.]

cant say i agree with you on that one... and i think im in a good position to judge as well haha

i certainly didnt have an idealised view of you, i had an idealised view on relationships full stop. dont be so cynical mr watts has a point!

 

[nwatts]

i like that it's the females who make disparaging judgement calls on the blanket male population, calling upon their vast experience of being male. as well as the fact that you are of course in a position to state with authority how males consider women and relationships, because again your gifts of telekenetics are more advanced than ours.

pull your head out of your gaping vadge and look at how arrogant you are.

 

[Chiisora]

I agree with basically everything Azzie said.


(Oh and I would change for someone else, but only if I thought their point was valid)

Agree. Completely.