Girl Image issues, and what to say. (1 Viewer)

[lookleft]

Intermittently, I get into the topic of self image issues with girls-often girls I am close to, or have been involved with.
It usually goes along the lines of them saying "i hate x part of my body" or "I hate the way I look, I have 0 self esteem"
I mean, I could say hit the gym once a week and that would solve what MINIMAL issues you have.
But I don't feel that's the point. How do you respond? I'd like nothing more than to have them feel happy and confident in themselves, and I think feeling like that is mostly psychologically based, not based on actual physical appearance-i.e even if they were models they'd still be unhappy.
I have three usual responses.

(a) typical: "no, i think you look great etc... dont be stupid"

(b) Non commital...sort of: "i think that that's a shame you feel that way, I beg to differ. I think you look great etc, and I wish you could see you how i see you"

(c) "It's okay to feel that way, alot of people seem to. I wish you could be happy with what you are, alot of people(like me) are."

It seems soppy etc I know. But I'm sure there is a better way to go about this.
guys: what do you usually say?
girls: what do you think? any suggestions?

 

[pman]

something along the lines of, "you haver a gr8 bod, and a pretty face. You are a very real girl..."

Just tell her how awesome she is, also mention personality

 

[bio_nut]

Um, no at the above, just say the word "personality" and she'll think you're a prick forever.

 

[lookleft]

Um, no at the above, just say the word "personality" and she'll think you're a prick forever.

Its a Fucking minefield isn't it. personality translates into "i have nothing nice to say about your physical appearance" which means "you're ugly"
which isn't what i'm trying to say lol.

 

[bio_nut]

From a females perspective, I'm going to give you some advice.

You can never, ever, EVER win.

 

[lookleft]

grraaagh. i feel woefully inadequate when this comes up. ill fucking study psycology to try and win.

 

[pman]

personally, I would rathe rbe told have a gr8 personality than a gr8 bod (even though I'm a male and have neither)

 

[bio_nut]

You can't. Girls are too illogical, it won't work. You think you finally get it then they do the opposite. Shrug.

 

[lookleft]

Guess ill fumble my way through as best i can.
do you ever have this sort of conversation?

 

[_trickster_]

From a females perspective, I'm going to give you some advice.

You can never, ever, EVER win.

oh thats just mean

so youre purposefully being complicated?

what a joke

 

[David Spade]

or you could tell them to wake the fuck up and if they dont like that they are not worth being with?

 

[tonyharrison]

gag them

 

[Riet]

I have a question for you: how is it being friends with lots of girls but never getting any pussy?

 

[lookleft]

I have a question for you: how is it being friends with lots of girls but never getting any pussy?

Im not fucking cassanova, but I'm pretty happy with what I get. In the OP when I say "involved" I basically mean I've slept with them.

 

[Riet]

Man they might as well just stamp "friendzoned" on your forehead.

 

[breaking]

well from my experience nothing you can say actually works

 

[tommykins]

haha nothing works . really, it doesn't .

 

[L]

i usually am like

yeah now that you mention it.. bish

 

[stampede]

tell them ur friend was actually discussing that specific part of her body just the other day, and how it was her best feature/ a good feature etc.

but lol, watch out for their reactions towards the 'friends' u mention, can go either way

 

[vannilla_latte]

the point is... some girls go into relationships thinking that they're not good enough.. not pretty enough, not smart enough. and personally i think the problem lies within... a) her trust for her bf OR b) lack of self esteem due to past experiences.

but seriously... when a girl finds a guy that she falls for... she'll accept compliments... genuine compliments work if you have the charm to back it up.

if you are looking for a fuck and go thing.. thats why some girls don't believe you when you say "your pretty" or "you have a great personality"....

from personal experience.. i knock back these compliments to those whom i dont like... i just dont like putting up with some guys ways of tryna pick up a girl.. its almost like "try before you buy" kinda thing... ... so yeah i just act normal and say no etc etc.. and then they assume im playing hard to get.. wtf is that.. its called NO IS NO.

but in another scenario... in my case when i really like a guy.. ill accept his compliments, like i wont argue if it has another meaning to it or not.... it just comes with the trust i have for him.. and what kind of personality he has. (yes im a big personality person... looks are just bonuses =P)