My advise to first years (2 Viewers)

[Garygaz]

well, well, well.

since university, at least in my experience, has been a lot less enjoyable than I had originally envisioned it to be, I thought I'd lay down my tips on how to survive uni with the least effort involved.

1. sit at the front of every tutor that you have a group assignment for. check your outline and check for any at the beginning of semester. you can be sure lots of socially inept/nerds will be sitting there too, and when it comes time for ye old tutor to tell you to get into a group, simply turn the neckbeard next to you and assume him as your property. be brutal, arrogant and establish yourself as alpha, and your group will work hard for you.

thank you free marks

2. buy your tutor a gift at the end of semester. last semester i missed about 30% of my tuts for 1 class, yet on my last tutorial i went up to my tutor and said how much of an inspiration she was and gave her a bottle of wine. 10/10 tutorial mark, thank you. I know for a fact she wasn't the type to give out high marks to everyone as well.

3. online quizzes with multiple attempts. bring up all your previous attempts by going onto the marks tab on your blackboard online, copy and find the right answer in your final attempt, free marks. i received 20/20 marks last semester for about a combined 40 minutes of effort.

4. if you get a free loader in your group, just man up and tell them either contribute or gtfo. you're just going to be miserable and moan about it otherwise. if you're too beta to say something, email your tutor and have them be the man for you.

5. if you're a pretty girl/handsome guy, go up to your lecturer (if they're setting the exam) and be as charming/flirty as possible to get as many tips as possible. they're human, they'll give you what you want.

6. from my experience, if there is weekly assignments, those who do them later in the semester generally get better marks. sure your tutor says that they take into account the increased amount of knowledge in the subject area, but, most of the time, no.

7. Steer your almighty ship the hell away from international students who struggle with the concept of speaking english. if not, enjoy doing the whole project by yourself. e.g presentation in marketing where i ended up speaking for about 80% of the 15 minute speech. got some strange looks.
(cheers @ absolute & terminator)

cheers cunts,

G

 

[funnytomato]

thanks for your advice

 

[iRuler]

thanks for your advice

.

 

[Hermes1]

well, well, well.

since university, at least in my experience, has been a lot less enjoyable than I had originally envisioned it to be, I thought I'd lay down my tips on how to survive uni with the least effort involved.

1. sit at the front of every tutor that you have a group assignment for. check your outline and check for any at the beginning of semester. you can be sure lots of socially inept/nerds will be sitting there too, and when it comes time for ye old tutor to tell you to get into a group, simply turn the neckbeard next to you and assume him as your property. be brutal, arrogant and establish yourself as alpha, and your group will work hard for you.

thank you free marks

2. buy your tutor a gift at the end of semester. last semester i missed about 30% of my tuts for 1 class, yet on my last tutorial i went up to my tutor and said how much of an inspiration she was and gave her a bottle of wine. 10/10 tutorial mark, thank you. I know for a fact she wasn't the type to give out high marks to everyone as well.

3. online quizzes with multiple attempts. bring up all your previous attempts by going onto the marks tab on your blackboard online, copy and find the right answer in your final attempt, free marks. i received 20/20 marks last semester for about a combined 40 minutes of effort.

4. if you get a free loader in your group, just man up and tell them either contribute or gtfo. you're just going to be miserable and moan about it otherwise. if you're too beta to say something, email your tutor and have them be the man for you.

5. if you're a pretty girl/handsome guy, go up to your lecturer (if they're setting the exam) and be as charming/flirty as possible to get as many tips as possible. they're human, they'll give you what you want.

6. from my experience, if there is weekly assignments, those who do them later in the semester generally get better marks. sure your tutor says that they take into account the increased amount of knowledge in the subject area, but, most of the time, no.

cheers cunts,

G

so with this flirting thing how do i no when to take it to the next level, should i like go down on her if she refuses or what?

 

[Garygaz]

so with this flirting thing how do i no when to take it to the next level, should i like go down on her if she refuses or what?

If she laughs at your jokes she wants it

 

[terminator69]

1. sit at the front of every tutor that you have a group assignment for. check your outline and check for any at the beginning of semester. you can be sure lots of socially inept/nerds will be sitting there too, and when it comes time for ye old tutor to tell you to get into a group, simply turn the neckbeard next to you and assume him as your property. be brutal, arrogant and establish yourself as alpha, and your group will work hard for you.

thank you free marks

I will be exercising the same motive this semester, but with a different method. My method: be alpha male in your efforts to avoid sitting near any asians and sit near people that you think may know their shit (doesn't have to be up the front). If groups are randomly allocated; you're fucked. If people around you make groups while excluding you, so you end up having to go with asians; you're fucked.

so with this flirting thing how do i no when to take it to the next level, should i like go down on her if she refuses or what?

Usually, if they say "stop" or "no", it is the first sign that they really want you to go further.

 

[Hermes1]

why would u avoid asians in group assignments, i thought they were the smartest and most hardworking?

 

[Absolutezero]

why would u avoid asians in group assignments, i thought they were the smartest and most hardworking?

Most international students are asian. Our education system takes some getting used to, and you'll often have problems in their research, referencing, and (understandably) English written, composition, and language skills.

 

[Hermes1]

Most international students are asian. Our education system takes some getting used to, and you'll often have problems in their research, referencing, and (understandably) English written, composition, and language skills.

cant u just offer to do their work for them? then they cant f**** u up.
and i cant really get group assignments in actuarial/maths can I?

 

[Absolutezero]

cant u just offer to do their work for them? then they cant f**** u up.

Yes, you can. That's usually what happens. And it defeats that point of having a group at all. You end up doing all the work yourself, they do nothing, and they still get the marks.

 

[AussieVesti]

cant u just offer to do their work for them? then they cant f**** u up.
and i cant really get group assignments in actuarial/maths can I?

You also have to take into account that the workload for a group assignment is set accordingly so that maximum marks can only be achieved by effort from multiple individuals.

 

[iRuler]

You also have to take into account that the workload for a group assignment is set accordingly so that maximum marks can only be achieved by effort from multiple individuals.

This is true, but I did get stuck in a group where only 3 were doing the work, other 3 were bludgers, so we 3 did enough to do well, it works sometimes, usually though it makes the job a lot harder.

 

[chewy123]

I HATE group assignments. Even if I can get a good group. The organisation is just too much effort and disporportionate to weighting or whatever it's worth. Not to mention the unfairness of marks and so on.

I suppose I don't mind if they make the marks maximisable. As in if you do better in finals, then your final marks will fully replace your group assignment marks. Or give you a choice to do an individual assignment.
The 'skill' to work in teams is something you learn in high school and primary school and as a child growing up, you cannot possibly teach that at uni.

 

[Shadowdude]

The trick with group assignments is to get a group with a hot chick you can talk to - such that she eases the pain of the other members being there.

Haven't tried it yet, but in theory - it sounds great. =P

 

[enoilgam]

I agree with arj1, its easier to do the work yourself. Sure they get credit for it, but as long as they cant stuff you up who really cares. Just like the old saying goes, if you want a job done properly, do it yourself.

 

[meilz92]

group assignments are the worst because you cant leave everything for the last minute because you'd be letting the team down

 

[Hermes1]

guys will i ave to do group assigments in actuarial/adv maths degree? surely not

 

[Timothy.Siu]

guys will i ave to do group assigments in actuarial/adv maths degree? surely not

u will

 

[Absolutezero]

guys will i ave to do group assigments in actuarial/adv maths degree? surely not

Possibly. They're pretty common across the board.

 

[Omnipotence]

Maths. Its like you will be conversing anyway.