Help in essay (4 Viewers)

iamdumdum

Member
Joined
Feb 28, 2011
Messages
36
Gender
Male
HSC
2014
Hello guys. I have an essay exam in 2 days and can u guys tell me if this mock essay intro is good?

Explore the ideas conveyed in the novel studied this year?

(word) is (definition). In the book ___________ by _______ shows many ideas. Many of the issues can relate to the concept of ________. Two of the important ideas portrayed are _____________ and _______________ . These themes overlap one another as they (synonym for relate) to the concept of ____________.

Do i need to include the definition of _______

I really want to get an A grade? if i do have any places where i can improve, please tell me
This is just a scaffold
 

Demento1

Philosopher.
Joined
Dec 23, 2011
Messages
866
Location
Sydney
Gender
Male
HSC
2014
More often then not, I do not begin my essay with that generic response as it bores the examiner. A good tip instead of starting with the name of the novel and author, is to introduce the thesis of your intro by giving a general philosophical statement that has some meaning to your novel you are studying. PM me if you have a draft and I as a year 10 would be happy to give some feedback ASAP to you and perhaps explain exactly what differentiates from a great and mediocre essay.
 

Absolutezero

real human bean
Joined
Nov 17, 2007
Messages
15,082
Gender
Male
HSC
N/A
Hello guys. I have an essay exam in 2 days and can u guys tell me if this mock essay intro is good?

Explore the ideas conveyed in the novel studied this year?

(word) is (definition).
This first line needs to be your argument.


In the book ___________ by _______ shows many ideas. Many of the issues can relate to the concept of ________.
Not succinct. This [thesis] can be seen in the [type of book] [title of book] by [name of author].

Two of the important ideas portrayed are _____________ and _______________ . These themes overlap one another as they (synonym for relate) to the concept of ____________.
It's not just about the ideas, but how they're represented and how they link to the thesis.

e.g.

Through the use of [evidence], this novel reveals aspects about [theme 1 and 2]. Through [theme 1] or [theme 2], shows [evidence about the thesis] and thus, is highly relevant to the exploration of [thesis]

Do i need to include the definition of _______
Definition, not necessarily, but definitely an argument.
 

Absolutezero

real human bean
Joined
Nov 17, 2007
Messages
15,082
Gender
Male
HSC
N/A
Basically, it should go:

Thesis
Thesis Explained
Introduce Texts
Evidence For Themes
Link Evidence to Thesis
Hence, Thesis
 

iamdumdum

Member
Joined
Feb 28, 2011
Messages
36
Gender
Male
HSC
2014
Thx guys, i appreciate ur help. but just a question i am pondering on ?
How to make, create a thesis? Please give me an example thx
and also how can i create a thesis in 10mins under test conditions to a essay question i have never seen
 
Last edited:

Absolutezero

real human bean
Joined
Nov 17, 2007
Messages
15,082
Gender
Male
HSC
N/A
"It is through learning to belong that individuals can better understand themselves and the world around them"

Your thesis is basically the main point that you are trying to make. The themes you pick and issues you talk about are what you use to argue this.
 

Demento1

Philosopher.
Joined
Dec 23, 2011
Messages
866
Location
Sydney
Gender
Male
HSC
2014
"It is through learning to belong that individuals can better understand themselves and the world around them"

Your thesis is basically the main point that you are trying to make. The themes you pick and issues you talk about are what you use to argue this.
Pretty much what the moderator has said. It is the idea you have in your head which you want to communicate to the examiner. The thesis is what drives the entire essay.
 

Absolutezero

real human bean
Joined
Nov 17, 2007
Messages
15,082
Gender
Male
HSC
N/A
Not in an exam. Act/Scene numbers can be useful though. As can chapters or general context. But not page numbers.
 

russ3l

Member
Joined
Dec 12, 2011
Messages
258
Location
Sydney
Gender
Male
HSC
2014
Start off your essay with a conceptual idea. If you're stuck, link the idea to nature e.g. "It is a universal truth that ambition burns like fire" or just pm me :)
 

Absolutezero

real human bean
Joined
Nov 17, 2007
Messages
15,082
Gender
Male
HSC
N/A
Start off your essay with a conceptual idea. If you're stuck, link the idea to nature e.g. "It is a universal truth that ambition burns like fire" or just pm me :)
It's kind of a waste of words though, having something so general. Really, your first line should be making your argument totally clear to the marker.
 

Shadowdude

Cult of Personality
Joined
Sep 19, 2009
Messages
12,146
Gender
Male
HSC
2010
I'd also wager to be specific.

Yes, it sounds nice to write phrases like "...and this use of descriptive language heightens the tone of _________ that the author imposes upon the readers", or whatever sort of thing like that. But... the thing is, I can write that about many, many books - like, the intro you have... I can adapt that to pretty much anything.

So, what I'd suggest is be specific. Get in there and answer the question - address the question in your intro, and also write it in such a way that if you were to blank out every instance of the book title - by reading the points you made, the only reasonable guess on what the title is, is the book you're writing the essay on.

I know that seems very idealistic, but... I think you'll become a better essay writer as a result considering that you'll be more specific, and if you're more specific, there's less of that waffling on, and more direct stuff that answers the question - and thus more relevant stuff, and that means higher marks.
 

Absolutezero

real human bean
Joined
Nov 17, 2007
Messages
15,082
Gender
Male
HSC
N/A
for the thesis is it good if it is a philosophical quote?
No. You're thesis should be your argument. A philosophical quote will never be specific enough to be your primary argument, so don't use it as your thesis.
 

Absolutezero

real human bean
Joined
Nov 17, 2007
Messages
15,082
Gender
Male
HSC
N/A
Essentially. Your conclusion states your point, summarises your textual evidence and arguments, and shows how they link to prove your point.
 

Okarin

New Member
Joined
Jun 26, 2012
Messages
3
Gender
Male
HSC
2014
This is how it is structured overall (notes from my teacher):

Code:
Introduction
1. Address the question (thesis)
2. Define/Explain the topic
3. General statement about how language forms/features convey the main ideas
4. Linking/summary statement

Body
1. Mainpoint
2. Elaboration/explanation
3. Example → Technique → Effect
4. Linking sentence reinforcing the argument (Why is example important?)

Conclusion
1. Recap your thesis
2. Explain your arguments briefly
3. Final summary statement reinforcing your thesis
It's very important to follow these steps. Many in my class got bad marks or were a bit off from that 20/20 because they didn't follow the structure...

Follow the structure and you'll be fine xd
 

kazemagic

Member
Joined
Feb 8, 2012
Messages
626
Gender
Male
HSC
2014
This is how it is structured overall (notes from my teacher):

Code:
Introduction
1. Address the question (thesis)
2. Define/Explain the topic
3. General statement about how language forms/features convey the main ideas
4. Linking/summary statement

Body
1. Mainpoint
2. Elaboration/explanation
3. Example → Technique → Effect
4. Linking sentence reinforcing the argument (Why is example important?)

Conclusion
1. Recap your thesis
2. Explain your arguments briefly
3. Final summary statement reinforcing your thesis
It's very important to follow these steps. Many in my class got bad marks or were a bit off from that 20/20 because they didn't follow the structure...

Follow the structure and you'll be fine xd
Very similar to this guide lol http://community.boredofstudies.org/showthread.php?t=257183

Steins Gate omg GG
 

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 4)

Top