Year 11 2014 Chat :) (39 Viewers)

[matchalolz]

In “Maestro”, the author demonstrates the importance of learning and how it can greatly affect us and this is evident when Paul tells Keller how he feels about him when he says “You are my teacher…You’ve been like a father…you’ve taught me everything I know” and Goldsworthy uses a simile to express how Paul sees Keller and how his view towards him has changed significantly.

Am I doing it right?

yeah, you're getting there for the second part of the sentence maybe say: and this is evident through the simile in Paul's dialogue to Keller "blah" expresses how Paul sees Keller...

by doing this, you avoid saying "and Goldsworthy", and making the sentence sound too long
also cut out all unnecessary words

 

[turntaker]

Too many clauses, it makes it convoluted to read as opposed to something that's succinct.

I'll type up my example I accidentally deleted:

Tyrell's power and authority is fostered through the ceremonious Judeo-Christian symbol of the candles in the mise-en-scene, reinforcing his replacement of God as 'creator' to reflect the postmodern deconstruction of the metanarrative of religion as a single source of morality.

Do you see how I'm still maintaining the sophistication of ideas whilst keeping it straight to the point?

Yes. It's really good. Btw that wasnt a serious attempt, I did it cause she said you have to make it one sentence xD.

 

[hawkrider]

Idk, see I would write it like

"Maestro" by Peter Goldsworthy (date), is a tale that follows Paul, a young boy, who moves from Adelaide to Darwin, and illustrates his maturation through various encounters with ___ figures, who influence and shape his beliefs and values. The novel illustrates the significance of relationships and it's ability to manifest (and shape) (identity/values/other things you want to say). This is evident through the simile, "You are my teacher…You’ve been like a father…you’ve taught me everything I know" where the comparison Paul makes between a teacher and father expresses his changing view towards Keller.

This is exactly HOW you should construct your analysis.

 

[Futuremedstudent]

Do you go to baulko? I've always thought baulko was a girls school, but then some random guy i met said he went to baulko (at least i remembered it as baulko) so now I'm like, if my memory isn't retarded, is it a co-ed school?o3o

yeah it's a co ed school.

 

[matchalolz]

it's ranked top 10 and my school really wants us to stay in that position.

same here! i hope my grade doesn't troll and bring shame if our rank slips a lot

 

[Fiction]

This is exactly HOW you should construct your analysis.

lol I thought you said, this is exactly how you shouldn't construct your analysis o3o Like dude, what's a clause?

 

[turntaker]

This is exactly HOW you should construct your analysis.

I should have done ESL at school.

 

[Futuremedstudent]

Idk, see I would write it like

"Maestro" by Peter Goldsworthy (date), is a tale that follows Paul, a young boy, who moves from Adelaide to Darwin, and illustrates his maturation through various encounters with ___ figures, who influence and shape his beliefs and values. The novel illustrates the significance of relationships and it's ability to manifest (and shape) (identity/values/other things you want to say). This is evident through the simile, "You are my teacher…You’ve been like a father…you’ve taught me everything I know" where the comparison Paul makes between a teacher and father expresses his changing view towards Keller.

that's fantastic, keep up the great work

 

[turntaker]

same here! i hope my grade doesn't troll and bring shame if our rank slips a lot

Rank 540 . Hope to keep it this way haha

 

[hawkrider]

lol I thought you said, this is exactly how you shouldn't construct your analysis o3o Like dude, what's a clause?

A clause is a group of words that contains a verb (and usually other components too). A clause may form part of a sentence or it may be a complete sentence in itself. For example:

He was eating a bacon sandwich.
[clause]
She had a long career but she is remembered mainly for one early work.
[clause] [clause]

 

[Futuremedstudent]

Rank 540 . Hope to keep it this way haha

i'm sure it will reach the top 200 very soon.

 

[turntaker]

i'm sure it will reach the top 200 very soon.

LOL.. nope! no way.

 

[matchalolz]

I should have done ESL at school.

no, I reckon advanced is fine and there's lots of time to improve! i was literally getting 9/15 all the time in year 9 but that didn't stop me from trying in year 10 yeah? i'm struggling with the paper 1 section 1 bit right now, but everyone will struggle at some point

 

[hawkrider]

no, I reckon advanced is fine and there's lots of time to improve! i was literally getting 9/15 all the time in year 9 but that didn't stop me from trying in year 10 yeah? i'm struggling with the paper 1 section 1 bit right now, but everyone will struggle at some point

what are you having trouble with?

 

[matchalolz]

A clause is a group of words that contains a verb (and usually other components too). A clause may form part of a sentence or it may be a complete sentence in itself. For example:

He was eating a bacon sandwich.
[clause]
She had a long career but she is remembered mainly for one early work.
[clause] [clause]

very informative! i did not know what a clause was either

 

[Futuremedstudent]

LOL.. nope! no way.

hey, did u do the science and engineering challenge at macquarie uni last year?

 

[Fiction]

A clause is a group of words that contains a verb (and usually other components too). A clause may form part of a sentence or it may be a complete sentence in itself. For example:

He was eating a bacon sandwich.
[clause]
She had a long career but she is remembered mainly for one early work.
[clause] [clause]

I thought a sentence only had to include a verb...? Idk, I was taught clauses and prepositions (i think that's it) in year 6, but at the very end b/c my teacher forgot to teach us before hand xD And after the selective school test, everyone was ilke whatevers.

You're making me worried - good idea to learn clauses? And what's a preposition?

Also from memory, there's adverbial clauses and adjectiv(ial?) clauses?

 

[matchalolz]

what are you having trouble with?

you know how you have to analyse unseen texts? I sometimes have trouble understanding the poems and writing a sophisticated discussion in the time limit X.X

 

[Fiction]

btw hawkie, I'm having a lot of trouble believing that you do badly in english lol

 

[turntaker]

hey, did u do the science and engineering challenge at macquarie uni last year?

No why? ╰(　´◔　ω　◔ `)╯