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2014 English Thread! (2 Viewers)

russ3l

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Yeah I will defs- I'm actually trying to find my year 11 ones lol- I'll upload them when I do.

And yeah, after the english exam, I'll upload some of my HSC essays
Thanks! What is your rank in english? You must be aiming high (93+)?
 

deswa1

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Thanks! What is your rank in english? You must be aiming high (93+)?
3rd. And yeah, I'll do my best haha- 93+ would be nice but I'm not really aiming for a specific number- I'll just prepare properly and do my best and yeah
 
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enoilgam

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I thought it was Intro - Body x6 - Conclusion. 40 minutes. 5 minutes per paragraph. At least thats what I've been taught and am aiming towards...
Well, for a humanities essay, having six individual points in a 1,000 word essay wouldn't be the best idea - I dont think you would be able to get in the necessary detail into each point.

3rd. And yeah, I'll do my best haha- 93+ would be nice but I'm not really aiming for a specific number- I'll just prepare properly and do my best and yeah
It must be said - you have a great attitude when it comes to handling the HSC.
 
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Wonder

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I'm really curious - what has everyone done so far in English?

(I'll post my marks so you know how much I hate narratives)

- Postcards from No Man's Land (essay) [20/20]
- Kite Runner (Borders --- essay + narrative) [10/10, 12/15]
- Animal Farm (Satire --- narrative) [10/15]
- Macbeth (Shakespeare --- essay + narrative) [19/20, 12/20, not assessment based]
- Ted Hughes (Poetry --- speech) [16/20]

>devastated for getting 19/20 for my Macbeth essay
>devastated because narratives are screwing up my ranking

lol
This year my class has done:

A Streetcar Named Desire
Robert Gray's poetry
Sense and Sensibility
Othello
AOS - betrayal

Anyone interested in a context essay on Sense and Sensibility? This was written in an exam and I got 20/20 for it - if anyone would like to read it I'll type it up.
 

russ3l

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This year my class has done:

A Streetcar Named Desire
Robert Gray's poetry
Sense and Sensibility
Othello
AOS - betrayal

Anyone interested in a context essay on Sense and Sensibility? This was written in an exam and I got 20/20 for it - if anyone would like to read it I'll type it up.
Please by all means, post it up :)
 

russ3l

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Here's an essay of mine, not sure if it is good or bad but I reckon its substantial!

Text: Australian rules - film focusing on social issues

Universal issues have trouble all societies since humans agreed to be bound by conventions, rules and laws. Perhaps the most challenging ones are notions of intolerance between dominant cultures and minority cultures, familial responsibilities that challenge notions of personal values and equality, and resilience that determine identity. All these issues are explored in the 2002 Paul film, Australian Rules.

Dominance of one culture over others within its context has always been affirmed through racial stereotypes which are often self-fulfilling and perpetuated in response to challenges to the conventions the dominant culture imposes. In Goldman’s film, its minority culture, the Aboriginals of a small Australian fishing community, are manipulated by being stereotyped by the dominant culture as it seeks to ensure its superiority, resulting in the tragic death of an Aboriginal youth and the consequential breakdown of a European family. Half way through the film, there is the local AFL annual award ceremony for “best on ground” and Goldman uses a visual metaphor to allude to the distinct barrier between the Aboriginal and European communities using a camera shot at eye level to juxtapose their black and white costumes, which uses colour symbolism to reinforce to reinforce the cultural divide between the groups, suggesting the dominant culture’s intolerance towards the indigenous community. As the ceremony progresses, repetition of high angled camera shots of the stage, showing it containing only white men, metaphorically asserts their superiority within this small community. As the Master of Ceremonies metaphorically alludes to racial harmony in his opening, “when you get on that paddock, it doesn’t matter where you come from or who you are,” Pretty, Dumby’s father, interrupts him by his gesture of slow-clapping his hands, mockingly, because experience has taught him not to trust the white community. He then uses expletives to describe the announcer’s assertion as “more goonya bullshit,” his use of the superlative expressing his intransigence, therefore showing his stereotypical response to white intolerance, which is an assertion of the dominant cultures power. Their superiority is confirmed when, unfairly, Dumby does not receive the award, his response evident in the close-up camera shots showing his face gloomily dropping with disappointment. Thus Goldman’s film asserts that dominant cultural groups, when challenged, will always demonstrate their superiority even if their actions are unjust.

Racial intolerance is not the only social issue in which prejudicial views assert power and are perpetuated as, in all societies, the rules of family unity and its responsibility in contrast to domestic violence are prevalent. Goldman’s film explore the breakdown of the hero, Gary Black’s, family as it is torn apart by divided loyalties and domestic violence. After Dumby’s death, Clarence and Gary are unexpectedly caught together and through the use of close-up, high angled camera shots, Bob is captured to be very powerful and aggressive, suggesting his superiority amongst his family and Clarence. With the feared family as witnesses in the background, Bob throws Gary to the ground and repeatedly questions him, “Whose side are you on?” His repetition expresses his disappointment and confusion on what Gary has done, advocating his emphasis of family unison. Gary then reveals his passiveness on his father’s patriarchal dominance through his obedient response, “your side Dad,” contradicting all of his notable values of Clarence and the aboriginal community, therefore temporarily abiding to the notion of family unity. Hence Goldman’s film asserts that individuals are often forced to decide between their responsibilities that pertain to family oneness, and their personal values, mainly through the instruction of domestic violence.

Within all individuals, maturation is generated by both challenges and affirmations that lead to reflections about who they are, defined by what they value. Goldman’s film examines identity and its formation through this, “coming-of-age,” romance. Once values are prioritized and set in stone, resilience is demonstrated; at least from the perspective of its protagonist, Gary Black. As the film comes to a close, the powerful but moving climax proceeds. The battered but united family in background witness the final stand-off between Gary and his father, Bob Black. Through the use of an eye level camera shot, Gary demonstrates resilience by standing up to his father, highlighting his disinclination to not abide with Bob’s prejudicial behaviour. The protagonist does not compete in the battle of fists but, reinforced with the absence of music, Goldman displays Gary’s resistance by sheer will and strength of character to his father, highlighting his strong values of Clarence and himself. At the end, Gary must leave the unchanged white community in order for his relationship with Clarence to survive, evidenced through him metaphorically admitting, “there’s nothing here for us now.” Therefore Goldman’s film asserts that an individual’s identity must be defined by their values, even if it means segregation.

Hence when analysing the aforementioned scenes in light of individuals contrasting values and opinions, we come to a heightened understanding that Australian Rules is much more than a game of football. Paul Goldman’s craftsmanship allows us to delve deep into prominent issues, therefore continuing the engage us timelessly.
 

HSC2014

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@russ3l, how well are you doing in school in terms of ranks for english? I'm rank 19 at 73%... English is definitely an outlier when it comes to my performances :(
 

kev-kun

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An essay of mine, not much of an English person though.

Question was: Compare and contrast how the representation of war in texts has changed over time.
Texts were: The Solder (Rupert Brooke), All Quiet on the Western Front (Erich Maria Remarque) and Eulogy of the Unknown Soldier (Paul Keating)

https://www.dropbox.com/s/irrvnskclcr98wn/Representations of War [Edited].pdf

Criticism is welcomed XD
 
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Demento1

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As promised, I will provide a few different forms of writing to you guys that might hopefully be able to give you a few tricks into your writing. Pm me if you want anything clarified with my writing (you'll notice in many of my essays, I sometimes get overly direct and perhaps conversational):

http://www.mediafire.com/view/?t85ajk6uzyxb32k - Narrative entry for a competition within my school.

Will post a few more later.
 

deswa1

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^This guy is good- read his essays to understand things like structure and answering questions (can't find my year 11 essays guys :()- I'll post some year 12 ones after HSC
 

Indoz

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As promised, I will provide a few different forms of writing to you guys that might hopefully be able to give you a few tricks into your writing. Pm me if you want anything clarified with my writing (you'll notice in many of my essays, I sometimes get overly direct and perhaps conversational):

http://www.mediafire.com/view/?t85ajk6uzyxb32k - Narrative entry for a competition within my school.

Will post a few more later.
interesting narrative, may i ask, did you get a place in that competition?
 

theind1996

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^This guy is good- read his essays to understand things like structure and answering questions (can't find my year 11 essays guys :()- I'll post some year 12 ones after HSC
Thanks deswa :)

Original post:

Ahh, might as well post up one of my essays - got 18/20 - I ranked 5th/140 in a top 30 selective school. I think I did that well mainly because I answered the question well, which I can't really show through what I'm posting. Not my best essay - it's on area of study: change.

Transcending personal and social boundaries, change is a dynamic perception which has a profound impact upon humanity, for its ability to shape an individual’s identity and connections. T.S. Eliot’s Modernist poems The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock (1915) and Preludes (1911) together with Ray Bradbury’s short story The Pedestrian (1951) capture the experiences of various personas that are driven by disconnection as a consequence of change. Through these texts, the responder clearly understands that a denial of change can be detrimental to an individual’s societal interactions while an acceptance can result in pleasure and social inclusion.

Eliot’s “Love Song” explicates Prufrock’s social disillusionment stemming from his inability to instigate change, a notion that shapes one’s relationships with humanity. Prufrock constantly reassures himself that there is time left “for all the works and days of hands” through the intertextual reference to Hesiod’s Works and Days, demonstrating his reluctance to willingly accept change, resulting in an inability to discover the human desire of kinship. The sibilance and anthropomorphism in the “ragged claws” that are “scuttling across the floors of silent seas” elucidate that Prufrock merely remarks about the world around him, yet lacks the courage to prompt change, revealing his internal rejection of change and accentuating his disconnection with his world. As Prufrock remarks upon a society where “women who come and go”, the binary opposition and impersonal description emphasise his lack of meaningful connections with the world around him, portraying that a denial of change can result in an inability to fulfil the innate human desire for connections and kinships. When the women are “talking of Michelangelo”, the allusion to the famous artist emphasises the manner that sophistication and affluence influence one’s role in society, concerning Prufrock’s own disillusionment in a society that seeks perfection. Furthermore, the bleak, despondent tone in Prufrock’s description of the “restless nights in one-night cheap hotels” elucidates his lack of profound and meaningful social interactions due to his incompetence in adapting to his changing world. A rhetorical question is employed as he asks “so how should I presume?” reflecting Prufrock’s inability to “force the moment to its crisis” and act upon situations in a world that is constantly transforming as a consequence of change. Thus, it is evident that change is a complex notion that can cause isolation and despondency when not actively pursued.

In “The Pedestrian” by Ray Bradbury, change in society is explored regarding its impact upon the individual. The first indication of change is revealed as the protagonist describes that it was dangerous “To enter out into that silence that was the city at eight o'clock…”, and the metaphor emphasises the change that has occurred to the atmosphere of the city from a bustling hub to a desolate, lifeless milieu. The simple act of walking is symbolic of the individuality of the protagonist, who is represented as noncompliant to the expectations of those in authority. This change is further conveyed as “A metallic voice” tells the protagonist to “Stand still. Stay where you are! Don't move! It was a police car.” The short, sharp sentences and high modality alludes to the fact that the police car is unmanned, this being a significant notion, portraying that society has changed to an emotionless, authoritative regime. This is demonstrated through the harsh tone as “No one answered him”, which displays that the protagonist is being treated with a stark disregard, where his presence is ignored, causing unhappiness, isolation and overall dissatisfaction for him. Consequently, it is clearly evident that a suppression of change can cause damage for humanity’s values of freedom and independence.

In “Preludes”, change is presented as an experience damaging to humanity, presented through the despondency of the protagonist’s existence throughout the poem, reflective of the grim context of the Industrial Revolution. Eliot uses synecdoche as he describes “the grimy scraps of withered leaves about your feet”, illustrating the impact that this society has on individuals, and also on nature as a whole. The withered leaves symbolise the entirety of nature, being crushed under due to monotony, and reflect the destructiveness of change and its suppression of the innate human desire to express individuality. As Eliot speaks “of faint stale smells of beer”, through the olfactory imagery, he condemns his world’s physical decay, displaying a society that has been utterly disintegrated and that its people live a life lacking purpose, demonstrating the negative nature of change. Eliot's biblical allusion to an ‘infinitely gentle, infinitely suffering thing’ is representative of Jesus, a divine source who many people of society rely on for faith and hope. Consequently, he establishes the calamities of a society that has lost its spirituality as a consequence of change. Eliot’s description of “sawdust-trampled streets” displays his condemnation of his world’s moral and physical decay, bereft of the magnificence that he desires, with the sibilance warning humanity of foreboding evil, and accentuating that change results in a degradation of society. Through a bleak tone, he describes his surroundings as “gathering fuel in vacant lots”, portraying a world that is fragmented, where the streets are lonely and shattered while its people pursue a routine that lacks meaning. Subsequently, this exemplifies that change is dangerous to the physical world, but also causes a dereliction of society’s moral values.

By examining these texts, it is evident that change is a multifaceted concept that has differing impacts upon humanity’s intrinsic desire for acceptance and connection. Therefore, we are able to appreciate the importance of environment and relationships in the process of gaining an improved insight into our worlds.
 

russ3l

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Thanks deswa :)

Original post:

Ahh, might as well post up one of my essays - got 18/20 - I ranked 5th/140 in a top 30 selective school. I think I did that well mainly because I answered the question well, which I can't really show through what I'm posting. Not my best essay - it's on area of study: change.

Transcending personal and social boundaries, change is a dynamic perception which has a profound impact upon humanity, for its ability to shape an individual’s identity and connections. T.S. Eliot’s Modernist poems The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock (1915) and Preludes (1911) together with Ray Bradbury’s short story The Pedestrian (1951) capture the experiences of various personas that are driven by disconnection as a consequence of change. Through these texts, the responder clearly understands that a denial of change can be detrimental to an individual’s societal interactions while an acceptance can result in pleasure and social inclusion.

Eliot’s “Love Song” explicates Prufrock’s social disillusionment stemming from his inability to instigate change, a notion that shapes one’s relationships with humanity. Prufrock constantly reassures himself that there is time left “for all the works and days of hands” through the intertextual reference to Hesiod’s Works and Days, demonstrating his reluctance to willingly accept change, resulting in an inability to discover the human desire of kinship. The sibilance and anthropomorphism in the “ragged claws” that are “scuttling across the floors of silent seas” elucidate that Prufrock merely remarks about the world around him, yet lacks the courage to prompt change, revealing his internal rejection of change and accentuating his disconnection with his world. As Prufrock remarks upon a society where “women who come and go”, the binary opposition and impersonal description emphasise his lack of meaningful connections with the world around him, portraying that a denial of change can result in an inability to fulfil the innate human desire for connections and kinships. When the women are “talking of Michelangelo”, the allusion to the famous artist emphasises the manner that sophistication and affluence influence one’s role in society, concerning Prufrock’s own disillusionment in a society that seeks perfection. Furthermore, the bleak, despondent tone in Prufrock’s description of the “restless nights in one-night cheap hotels” elucidates his lack of profound and meaningful social interactions due to his incompetence in adapting to his changing world. A rhetorical question is employed as he asks “so how should I presume?” reflecting Prufrock’s inability to “force the moment to its crisis” and act upon situations in a world that is constantly transforming as a consequence of change. Thus, it is evident that change is a complex notion that can cause isolation and despondency when not actively pursued.

In “The Pedestrian” by Ray Bradbury, change in society is explored regarding its impact upon the individual. The first indication of change is revealed as the protagonist describes that it was dangerous “To enter out into that silence that was the city at eight o'clock…”, and the metaphor emphasises the change that has occurred to the atmosphere of the city from a bustling hub to a desolate, lifeless milieu. The simple act of walking is symbolic of the individuality of the protagonist, who is represented as noncompliant to the expectations of those in authority. This change is further conveyed as “A metallic voice” tells the protagonist to “Stand still. Stay where you are! Don't move! It was a police car.” The short, sharp sentences and high modality alludes to the fact that the police car is unmanned, this being a significant notion, portraying that society has changed to an emotionless, authoritative regime. This is demonstrated through the harsh tone as “No one answered him”, which displays that the protagonist is being treated with a stark disregard, where his presence is ignored, causing unhappiness, isolation and overall dissatisfaction for him. Consequently, it is clearly evident that a suppression of change can cause damage for humanity’s values of freedom and independence.

In “Preludes”, change is presented as an experience damaging to humanity, presented through the despondency of the protagonist’s existence throughout the poem, reflective of the grim context of the Industrial Revolution. Eliot uses synecdoche as he describes “the grimy scraps of withered leaves about your feet”, illustrating the impact that this society has on individuals, and also on nature as a whole. The withered leaves symbolise the entirety of nature, being crushed under due to monotony, and reflect the destructiveness of change and its suppression of the innate human desire to express individuality. As Eliot speaks “of faint stale smells of beer”, through the olfactory imagery, he condemns his world’s physical decay, displaying a society that has been utterly disintegrated and that its people live a life lacking purpose, demonstrating the negative nature of change. Eliot's biblical allusion to an ‘infinitely gentle, infinitely suffering thing’ is representative of Jesus, a divine source who many people of society rely on for faith and hope. Consequently, he establishes the calamities of a society that has lost its spirituality as a consequence of change. Eliot’s description of “sawdust-trampled streets” displays his condemnation of his world’s moral and physical decay, bereft of the magnificence that he desires, with the sibilance warning humanity of foreboding evil, and accentuating that change results in a degradation of society. Through a bleak tone, he describes his surroundings as “gathering fuel in vacant lots”, portraying a world that is fragmented, where the streets are lonely and shattered while its people pursue a routine that lacks meaning. Subsequently, this exemplifies that change is dangerous to the physical world, but also causes a dereliction of society’s moral values.

By examining these texts, it is evident that change is a multifaceted concept that has differing impacts upon humanity’s intrinsic desire for acceptance and connection. Therefore, we are able to appreciate the importance of environment and relationships in the process of gaining an improved insight into our worlds.
Thanks for bolding the techniques/quotes :)
Did you compose this essay this year or last year? Its really good. And what was the comments?
 

theind1996

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Thanks for bolding the techniques/quotes :)
Did you compose this essay this year or last year? Its really good. And what was the comments?
No worries - this year, was for my yearly.

There wasn't really much feedback besides - 'well integrated response, nicely integrated quotes and techniques, question was answered very well. 18/20.'

School marks very harshly though - we tend to get about top 40-50 getting a band 6 in English, and a person coming 40th would have gotten about 13-14/20 on the essay.
 

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