ANy good jokes (1 Viewer)

[samuelblayden]

HAs anyone got good jokes

 

[duckofdoom]

What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson and Arnold Shwarznegger?

Michael Wasanigger.

 

[hatty]

why did the black man cross the road?

because the KKK wasn't on the other side.

ROFL

 

[Inscrutable]

why did the black man cross the road?

because the KKK wasn't on the other side.

ROFL

i dont get it,
if the kkk was on his side i dont think he would have the time to cross the road

 

[hatty]

maybe the black man was invisible, but his powers of invinsibility were waring out so he had to cross the road so that he could get onto his spaceship.

 

[samuelblayden]

best joke so far is from duck of doom you have got a out of 10

 

[fatmuscle]

taxed from a friend, who taxed from another forum





What is a Yankee?

The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?

The position of the dirt bag

Why is divorce so expensive?

Because it's worth it.

Why is air a lot like sex?

Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any

What do you call a smart blonde?

A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?

Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?

45 lbs

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?

45 minutes

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?

Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?

They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring,
and good-looking?

Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

After a year,the dog is still excited to see you

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?

Because they have cotton balls.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

"Are you sure it's mine?"

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

Breasts don't have eyes.

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

A different bar.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?

They named him "Sum Ting Wong

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?

A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."

A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh*t..."

Why is there no Disneyland in China ?

No one's tall enough to go on the good rides.

 

[DaddyK]

*RACIST JOKE - RACIST JOKE*
*RACIST JOKE - RACIST JOKE*
*RACIST JOKE - RACIST JOKE*


Why do black people have white palms??? because theres a little good inside all of us.

 

[Dreamerish*~]

that's quite slack *frown*
i like the sum ting wong joke.. lol

 

[Trippendicular]

What do you call someone with lame jokes that everyones heard a million times? fatmuscle, nah only joking they were excellent....

 

[Smokey_22]

"You ever seen Stevie wonder's house?"
"Nah"
"Don't worry, he hasn't either."

Why couldn't the kitten drink it's milk?
Cause its tongue was nailed to the floor.

Why couldn't the baby walk through the door?
Cause it had a javelin through its head.

 

[Shell]

There once was a man with a pineapple in his ear. Another mane says to the man with the pineapple in his ear, "hey mate you've got a pineapple in your ear" the man with the pineapple in his ear says "what!? sorry i can't hear you i have a pineapple in my ear!!!!"

two sausages were sitting on a BBQ. one sausage says to the other sausage "whats the time?" the other sausage screams and goes "AAAHHH A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!!"

 

[DaddyK]

That has to be the lamest joke ever! i mean seriously, the sausage is being cooked! and all he has to say is "whats the time"!!!??? seriously, you'd think hed say something like, AHHH OHHH GOD I COULDNT BE IN ANY MORE PAIN!!! or...geezuz..im dieing.

 

[fatmuscle]

What do you call someone with lame jokes that everyones heard a million times? fatmuscle, nah only joking they were excellent....

LOL!

now that's good stuff

 

[tempco]

Why couldn't the baby walk through the door?
Cause it had a javelin through its head.

HAHAHA I liked that one

 

[INXS]

Whats the difference between a car tyre and 360 used condoms?

One was a good year, and the other was a VERY good year.

Why is Italy oily?

Because it has Greece on the bottom.

 

[samuelblayden]

Why is Italy oily?

Because it has Greece on the bottom.

very funny 8/10

 

[katietheskatie]

there's an american, a canadian and an australian in the bar having a drink. the american finishes his beer, throws his glass in the air and shoots it with his gun. he says 'in america, we have so much money that we never have to drink out of the same glass twice'. so the australian finishes his beer, throws his glass in the air as well, shoots it and says 'well in australia, we have so much sand to make glass from that we never have to drink from the same one twice'. so the canadian drinks the rest of his beer, throws his glass in the air and shoots the american. the canadian turns to the australian and says 'in canada, we have so many americans that we never have to drink with the same one twice'.

 

[samuelblayden]

there's an american, a canadian and an australian in the bar having a drink. the american finishes his beer, throws his glass in the air and shoots it with his gun. he says 'in america, we have so much money that we never have to drink out of the same glass twice'. so the australian finishes his beer, throws his glass in the air as well, shoots it and says 'well in australia, we have so much sand to make glass from that we never have to drink from the same one twice'. so the canadian drinks the rest of his beer, throws his glass in the air and shoots the american. the canadian turns to the australian and says 'in canada, we have so many americans that we never have to drink with the same one twice'.

VERY GOOD I LOVE IT 10 OUT OF 10

 

[Dreamerish*~]

A man heard a knock on his door. He opened it, and saw a snail standing on his front porch.
He picked up the snail and threw it as far as he could.
Three years later, there was another knock on the door. The man opened it, and saw the same snail standing on the porch.
The snail looked at the man and said "What the fuck was that for?"