terminator69
Member
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2008
- Messages
- 389
- Gender
- Male
- HSC
- 2009
Format of my thread: I start talking about how bored I am of life and then start talking about my failure with a girl, for some reason:
How would you rate the importance of friendships in the enjoyment of life? I am so bored of life. Having only a few high school friends left that I talk to, I haven't managed to make any decent friends through uni or retail work. I don't know if this is why I am depressed at how my life is going or whether it is something else.
I used to be really shy up until a few years ago but being more outgoing now doesn't really help with my situation. Focusing on my work scenario, I might be less shy now but somehow I feel I have lost the ability to make lasting friends. Due to having a past of being shy, I seem to make a conscious effort to talk to people and make small talk. Despite this, my relationships never escalate to anything more than occasional small talk with "acquaintances".
I think there may be something about my personality that makes quite a people dislike me (could be paranoid speculation). I really don't feel like I have many people coming up to talk to me at work. If I want to be social, it always has to be me that goes up and tries to make small-talk with others, outside of the few people I am closer to. Following the advice I found on BoS about chatting up girls in here, I decided to enact this on a girl that I like at work. Having never spoken to her before, I went up and talked to her about what shifts she had coming up during a promotional period at work and had a quick chat about whether she enjoyed working etc.
Then over the next few days, we just smiled at each other as we'd walk past each other but never say anything. Then feeling a need to talk a few times to get things rolling as mentioned on BoS, I talked to her again for a little while, and then again for a bit longer. That 3rd time was when I enquired about her age, what she's studying etc. and she relayed the questions back to me. It seemed to be a quirky and cool conversation and she seemed to enjoy talking to me (or maybe she is just nice to everyone).
Since these few conversations, I feel like absolutely nothing has changed from the time before I had started talking to her. We've seen and walked by each other a few times and she never makes any attempt to talk to me. From the times I have talked to her, I feel like she doesn't mind me but from the body language of her only opening up when I approach and speak to her, it gives off the vibe that she doesn't really want to talk to me. Thus, it would feel awkward for me to keep trying to pursue this when she may not actually like me.
I realise that no one is supposed to think into this much detail about making friends/girlfriends etc. but I can't help but ask myself "why" after my social interactions never really escalate into anything of meaning.
The relationship I have with this girl is pretty symbolic of how I am with a lot of coworkers now. ie. a lot of people for me to walk past and mostly just smile at and nothing more.
Ideally, I guess I am asking as to whether a lack of close friends is relative to being depressed/bored and if any /b/osers have some wisdom to share relating to my situation with that girl.
How would you rate the importance of friendships in the enjoyment of life? I am so bored of life. Having only a few high school friends left that I talk to, I haven't managed to make any decent friends through uni or retail work. I don't know if this is why I am depressed at how my life is going or whether it is something else.
I used to be really shy up until a few years ago but being more outgoing now doesn't really help with my situation. Focusing on my work scenario, I might be less shy now but somehow I feel I have lost the ability to make lasting friends. Due to having a past of being shy, I seem to make a conscious effort to talk to people and make small talk. Despite this, my relationships never escalate to anything more than occasional small talk with "acquaintances".
I think there may be something about my personality that makes quite a people dislike me (could be paranoid speculation). I really don't feel like I have many people coming up to talk to me at work. If I want to be social, it always has to be me that goes up and tries to make small-talk with others, outside of the few people I am closer to. Following the advice I found on BoS about chatting up girls in here, I decided to enact this on a girl that I like at work. Having never spoken to her before, I went up and talked to her about what shifts she had coming up during a promotional period at work and had a quick chat about whether she enjoyed working etc.
Then over the next few days, we just smiled at each other as we'd walk past each other but never say anything. Then feeling a need to talk a few times to get things rolling as mentioned on BoS, I talked to her again for a little while, and then again for a bit longer. That 3rd time was when I enquired about her age, what she's studying etc. and she relayed the questions back to me. It seemed to be a quirky and cool conversation and she seemed to enjoy talking to me (or maybe she is just nice to everyone).
Since these few conversations, I feel like absolutely nothing has changed from the time before I had started talking to her. We've seen and walked by each other a few times and she never makes any attempt to talk to me. From the times I have talked to her, I feel like she doesn't mind me but from the body language of her only opening up when I approach and speak to her, it gives off the vibe that she doesn't really want to talk to me. Thus, it would feel awkward for me to keep trying to pursue this when she may not actually like me.
I realise that no one is supposed to think into this much detail about making friends/girlfriends etc. but I can't help but ask myself "why" after my social interactions never really escalate into anything of meaning.
The relationship I have with this girl is pretty symbolic of how I am with a lot of coworkers now. ie. a lot of people for me to walk past and mostly just smile at and nothing more.
Ideally, I guess I am asking as to whether a lack of close friends is relative to being depressed/bored and if any /b/osers have some wisdom to share relating to my situation with that girl.
