Hey cheezsandwich, im just reading your work
Firstly (tho i hate to start this on a bad note, sorry bout it) im thinking that nobody proof read your work? I cant even count all the spelling, punctuation and grammar mistakes im picking up as i read it... I guess im kinda finniky about it myself (specially when its a formal document such as a MW)... but its not a good look
On the plus sides (yup there are more than one!!
) I love the way you've used your own experiences to write your MW... your story is very honest and raw.... in a way, it's also quite innocently sweet (and i mean that in the least patronising way
) it really is quite ummm "quaint" for lack of a better word... no really, i can closely relate to it (living by the coast myself) and hopefully your marker can too.
Your imagery is well done, and i like your use of colloquial terminology -
"We pull up to the lookout and check the scene. It’s nice, there is a slight off shore breeze and the waves come in about eight second intervals, giving them a chance to form nicely before hitting the sand bank that brings them tumbling down, the tide is just above low and rising. We stay for a second to watch the early morning waves grumble through. Then quick as we can, back on our bikes and pedalling fast toward the house to get our gear. "
You have great characterisation, im enjoying reading about your characters and im getting to know them as i get into your story more... are they based on your real relatives? You have a real sense of community in your story... all the characters seem real, they all co-exist well together and im thinking they MUST be based on real people cuz they all seem very different yet are developed.
Ok i just finished it - yep, i like it! i hope you go well, it really isn't so bad as you make it out to be!!!
LOL
good luck!