BOS Showcase: 2009 Major Works (4 Viewers)

Rafy · Aug 28, 2009

jess39 · Aug 28, 2009

I'll start, shall I?

Title: The Tale of Shortbread Sophie and Kilometrico Kid or, There Are No Woods Around Here
Medium: Short story

*gulp*

accio.brain · Aug 28, 2009

Only up to pg 12 of your story and I absolutely love it. Can't wait to get to the end!

jess39 · Aug 28, 2009

Aw, thanks!

I just read over it again and found a few things I could have changed. Argh.

Post yours up! I feel stupid being the only one who has posted so far.

xsavagex · Aug 28, 2009

I've started reading yours and its awesome

Other people should post! I like reading them

marcquelle · Aug 28, 2009

Here is mine

Medium: Radio Drama
Title: Vampires + Bees = Comedy?

if you would like to hear the sound file please pm and i'll be glad to email as i cannot upload anywhere for some unknown reason lols

accio.brain · Aug 28, 2009

Jess: finished reading! it's really good

I love Jasper's letters and the way he speaks, and how you've described certain things like when he was thrown down the stairs and her 'fairy floss' hair! I love Claire's weirdness too, lol. Don't want to ruin it for anyone, though I half expected someone to die in the end or for Claire to not be real. Is there actually something wrong with Sophie or is she just kind of... odd, herself? Also really like your title, it's very.. poetic? fairytale-ish? Not sure of the word. I expect you to get a rather high mark, mmk?

Ack, I don't wanna post mine just yet... It was hard leaving it in the hands of my teacher this morning! might just wait and see...

xsavagex · Aug 28, 2009

^Please post it

jess39 · Aug 28, 2009

marcquelle, good work! It was really funny.

accio.brain, thank you so much. It was never my intention for anyone to die. I think that would have been a little too overdramatic. Someone else remarked that they thought Claire would be a figment of Jasper's imagination. I was really happy to hear that. It's kind of the point of her character.

(It's all explained in the RS.) And... Sophie. Well. There's nothing strictly wrong with her. She's just a terrible parent, pretty much. She probably wasn't ready for motherhood when Jasper and Hollie were born, and then Jasper wasn't 'normal' and she found it extremely hard to cope, because she wanted always wanted a perfect life like the 'sparkle women'. Yeah... I hope that makes sense! I could tell you so much about these characters that doesn't fit within the limits of the 6000-8000 word MW or the 1500 word RS, haha.

And I agree, you should post yours! But when you're ready, of course.

xsavagex · Aug 28, 2009

I thought someone was going to die too!

i haven't read your RS so i have no idea where you got your influences from or whatever but it kinda reminded me of "We Need To Talk About Kevin" if you've read it?

Not in a copying kind of way but just reminded me of that book.

diametric · Aug 28, 2009

Here goes nothing --

Be critical. I'm a bit bored tonight, so I'll get around to reading your guy's works as well.

Sorry, forgot title and medium, ack:

Title: Paradise Lost?
Medium: Short Story

marcquelle · Aug 28, 2009

DIAMETRIC: i love it espoecially the ending

"The ice cracks beneath me. Splitting asunder, the water it embraces me. My feet are the first
to go, their ethereal flame now steam in the wind. What power was this, and why, why had I
never once been more… alive? Inviting a shower of drizzle, the flame it hisses, and it spits.
We are merely elements and to each other we return. The lake takes me into its icy depths,
and for a few fleeting moments, it seems as though the inferno would vaporise each drop, but
then it is quieted… I am gone."

its fantastic. If i could by it as a novella i would

5233andy · Aug 28, 2009

I would post mine, though, I've just discovered mistakes in the final copy...

marcquelle · Aug 28, 2009

don't worry i just found one that has really annoyed me (in the recording), oh well part and parcel of the course and proofreading.

5233andy · Aug 28, 2009

Oh, mine's so bad that it simply blows a hole in it - the first mistake occurred in the second line!!

diametric · Aug 28, 2009

Read yours Marcquelle - found imagining it all in my head made it quite a bit funnier. So, I'd expect the radio drama itself would bring that out even better. Though there were some spelling or punctuation mistakes in the script, I guess this isn't as important for an audio medium. Also, I think you should of made some more use of the word count in the RS. All in all, enjoyed it quite a bit =]

Thanks for the kind words. But I was a bit disappointed with my RS. Ohwell. All done now.
I'm halfway through Jess's. Liking it so far.

marcquelle · Aug 28, 2009

thanks, yeah i noticed the punctuation mistakes, but the spelling mistakes in the script at intentional hehe ( i made it well known in my journal).

Clifford · Aug 29, 2009

I just read Jess' and liked it. Although it doesn't seem important, I didn't see any typos which impressed me and it sustained my interest enough for me to read the whole thing through.

You did really well to communicate such... complex characters and dimensions in such a short story. Your reflection statement was really good too (although what's a M...acroynm thing? Maybe it's just because it's midnight and I'm half asleep, but I didn't get what you meant) It was a well written reflection, and much more personal than mine.

The one thing I didn't like was the mother, Sophie's name. Trivial, I know, and I have no idea why it annoyed me so much.

I've read Curious Incident, and you could definitetly see it in your work. That being said, I found that book a tad annoying, but enjoyed it a lot, as a I did your MW.

Good job! I'm going to go pass out into a bed now.

alex.leon · Aug 29, 2009

Alrighty everyone, I've just come back from an 18th and am still a little tipsy (composing this sentence is an effort), but will post my major work tonight, as I really want/need some reassurance in feedback.

Title: 'quick fix, cheap thrill'
Medium: Poetry

Hope everyone likes it

Will read all of yours tomorrow morning and post my response. Can't wait to see marcquelle's in particular...upload it on a myspace music account or something! Or PM me...really want to hear it in its entirety.

PS- I know it seems a massive effort to try and understand the poetry, but I've tried to make it as accessible to a general audience as possible. Just have a read, you might be surprised!

EDIT: Not even the final version of RS...oops.

mackiavell · Aug 29, 2009

Title: Shattered Glass
Medium: Short Story (ies)

Hope you enjoy! A few mistakes might still be in there, but nothing can be done anymore.

BOS Showcase: 2009 Major Works (4 Viewers)

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