BOS Showcase: 2009 Major Works (2 Viewers)

[5233andy]

I believe the SCHOOL number is a 5 digit number, which is distinct from the CENTRE number, which is a three digit number (though I'm not sure if its ONLY a three digit number, I'm assuming they'd prolly foray into four digit realm as well, but I doubt 5).

Might wanna give BoS a ring, or ask your school again.

I was actually confused about this as well. My school provided us with a five-digit number. However, from past experiences, I thought that it was a three-digit one.

Nonetheless, I have my trust in them.

 

[Clifford]

when you have the time, could you have a read through mine, clifford? id really like your take on it.

Firstly, thank god I didn't read it last night, because to be honest, I rather struggled to get my head around it. I could give you the notes I wrote while I read it, but looking back after reading your reflection they seem rather pale. To be completely truthful, much of what you were trying to execute was lost on me. However the reflection statement really was beautifully written and thought provoking. Whereas I found much of the story too convoluted (I think, despite what you said in your reflection, you had too many characters for a poor little reader to keep up with - as Kurt Vonnegut says, pity the reader) the reflection was crystal clear, and it was actually that not the story that made me think about the idea of salvation and Lucifer.

Thinking about the actual ideas of your work, rather than the story itself, I find myself facing a simple answer. It said in your reflection statement that you're religious, I'm actively not. Maybe in that sense, the work couldn't have as much an impact on me, as to me Satan is merely another over-simplified opposition against an over-simplified God, and the idea of his salvation was not abhorrent or strange to me.

Reading your reflection, with the idea of assimilating moderinism and romanticism to create postmoderism, really is ambitious and interesting. I don't know whether you are more a creative writer or a critical one, but your reflection had a great style and was genuinly engaging. I would like to know what you thought happened to Lucifer; did he deserve salavation?

If it's any consolation to me not understanding your work, I am familiar with the ideas surrounding Paradise Lost, but I've never read beyond the first couple of pages. Also, I had never heard of Lilith or that dimension before, so perhaps the allusions went over my head. That being said, the Blake poem and Twain quote were aptly placed and, especially Twain's got me thinking. I've also shamelessly stolen that Blake poem and might use it as a related... I'm a bastard...

By the way, the graphic child killing and boob descriptions - ' her breasts threatening to escape their scarlet prison' were super distracting. The whole concept and idea however, really is very... confronting and I think it would be brilliant discussion/exposition fodder.

Sorry if I missed the point entirely!

 

[Clifford]

Wow, just read the other half (experience/innocence) of that Blake poem - very, very interesting! Did you read both? I think it compliments your text in a strange way...

 

[accio.brain]

I'm a little bit into your's accio and it's beautifully written. It's so descriptive and lovely. I like the Bright Eyes reference too I love how it keeps coming back to quotes too - it works so well. I actually can't stop reading - this is beautiful. you show the characters' emotions so well.
"This house is my father’s and my father is this house." I love that. I love the recurring "dark red curls". Flows beautifully - I kepp using that word! I couldn't stop reading it - i just finished then. I love how subtly but effectivley you expressed the message. The whole story was just wonderful - I loved it. I think you'll get fantastic marks - you deserve them!

I haven't read your reflection statement yet, but I will have by Tuesday - I'll feedback you on that too

Your story is wonderful.

aw, thank you!
thanks for taking the time to read through it all

 

[Therewego]

Well, from memory, the centre number was supposed to go on the front cover of your work, and the school and centre number on the forms that the BoS handed out.

If you're worried, just let your school know, and they'll ring the BoS to clarify/sort it out. It's not that a big of a problem.

Phew. Well that's a relief...had 0's flying through my head for a while there...

cheers

On another note...anyone had a read of mine yet?

 

[beve]

Ah I haven't been on here for a while.

My major work is titled: 'Folie á Plusieurs; or, The Parable of the Madmen'.

Enjoy. I hope you do, anyway...


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[Therewego]

Ah I haven't been on here for a while.

My major work is titled: 'Folie á Plusieurs; or, The Parable of the Madmen'.

Enjoy. I hope you do, anyway...

Wow...I've briefly read over your work and reflection and...I'm quite lost for words to be honest.

It's a very complex idea, it's very well executed and its written and structured well...its just...extremely controversial; though I'm sure this is what you were going for.

I just hope for you sake you don't get some elderly strict Christian/Muslim marker who marks you down for stereotyping/ignorant views (I do think there is a little bit of stereotyping in your story)

If you get someone with an open mind though, I'm sure you will do very well.

Its 100% original and you had something you wanted to say and you said it so good on you

 

[beve]

Wow...I've briefly read over your work and reflection and...I'm quite lost for words to be honest.

It's a very complex idea, it's very well executed and its written and structured well...its just...extremely controversial; though I'm sure this is what you were going for.

I just hope for you sake you don't get some elderly strict Christian/Muslim marker who marks you down for stereotyping/ignorant views (I do think there is a little bit of stereotyping in your story)

If you get someone with an open mind though, I'm sure you will do very well.

Its 100% original and you had something you wanted to say and you said it so good on you

Oh I know what you mean about stereotyping. I was writing it, and thinking, well, if I don't play on a few racial predispositions then will it lose it's punch? And my decision lied with having as much punch as possible without being plain ignorant. I hope I pulled it off, but then again; a religious marker may not see it in that light, and that's the big gamble with it I guess. Thanks for taking the time to read it though. =)

 

[diametric]

Firstly, thank god I didn't read it last night, because to be honest, I rather struggled to get my head around it. I could give you the notes I wrote while I read it, but looking back after reading your reflection they seem rather pale. To be completely truthful, much of what you were trying to execute was lost on me. However the reflection statement really was beautifully written and thought provoking. Whereas I found much of the story too convoluted (I think, despite what you said in your reflection, you had too many characters for a poor little reader to keep up with - as Kurt Vonnegut says, pity the reader) the reflection was crystal clear, and it was actually that not the story that made me think about the idea of salvation and Lucifer.

Thinking about the actual ideas of your work, rather than the story itself, I find myself facing a simple answer. It said in your reflection statement that you're religious, I'm actively not. Maybe in that sense, the work couldn't have as much an impact on me, as to me Satan is merely another over-simplified opposition against an over-simplified God, and the idea of his salvation was not abhorrent or strange to me.

Reading your reflection, with the idea of assimilating moderinism and romanticism to create postmoderism, really is ambitious and interesting. I don't know whether you are more a creative writer or a critical one, but your reflection had a great style and was genuinly engaging. I would like to know what you thought happened to Lucifer; did he deserve salavation?

If it's any consolation to me not understanding your work, I am familiar with the ideas surrounding Paradise Lost, but I've never read beyond the first couple of pages. Also, I had never heard of Lilith or that dimension before, so perhaps the allusions went over my head. That being said, the Blake poem and Twain quote were aptly placed and, especially Twain's got me thinking. I've also shamelessly stolen that Blake poem and might use it as a related... I'm a bastard...

By the way, the graphic child killing and boob descriptions - ' her breasts threatening to escape their scarlet prison' were super distracting. The whole concept and idea however, really is very... confronting and I think it would be brilliant discussion/exposition fodder.

Sorry if I missed the point entirely!

Woah. Seriously?

I'm a bit lost for words. You're for the first person to say that the Major Work itself didn't make sense, of my teacher, other mentors, friends, and guys on here. I'd like your notes on it if just to get an understanding of what exactly was lost on you.

Lilith is only an allusion when you consider she's super evil and human, and the commentary that I'm trying to make there. She does originate from Jewish folklore, and for the purposes of the story, that wasn't necessary to a proper understanding. The fact that you're not 'religious' is probably the main reason why it didn't connect with you, and that is why I outlined my audience as fundamentally religious individuals.

(haha, now I'm hoping an atheist is not my marker!)

I guess I'm both a critical and imaginative writer, I've never preferred one more than the other, but I had a message to convey, and that's why I chose the short story as opposed to a critical response.

With reference to the story, I do think Lucifer deserved salvation, simply because he realised the equality between him and humanity, and he made that choice, that conscious reason, and so he was forgiven.

But my opinion doesn't matter as much as the reader's, at least in the context of what I wanted to do.

I really thought I had simplified my story, and didn't think it was too convoluted. Thanks for the reassurance about the RS though. I need my marker to view the MW as my teacher did and the RS as you have and all will be good

Thanks for your opinion though. It's really exposed me to the fact that different individuals react differently to each and every piece of writing.

 

[Clifford]

I think that's apt evidence that it's purely me who didn't get it; trust me, it's not a reflection on your work or anything! I can be daft as heck, I assure you (you can ask Zeppelin Queen about how I didn't get Northanger Abbey and had this whole rant until someone explained its satricial aims)
I think I got the overall concept, you know, but there were just points where I wasn't really sure what was happening. The notes won't be very enlightening, they were mainly just stupid things that my irreverent brain was thinking of.

The main things I found confusing, if I think back to it, was the stuff in the Chinese Restaurant (2nd time round, I liked the continuity). Was Lucifer possessing Elaine, or her father? And she was the Telegraph writer, right? I think I just got a bit lost between the two plots (although your reflection helped significantly). Also, the bit with the little boy in the forest and the old man/young man (another bit I didn't get) and the stabbing sex scene... if all those people read it, understood it, I'm sure I am the abnormality, and you'll get someone a lot smarter marking it, so never fear.

 

[diametric]

Lucifer was possessing Elaine - that happens right at the beginning of the scene, when he/she wakes up in the hospital room and that is maintained throughout. By Telegraph writer, I'm assuming you're referring to the article? That was written by Lisa Dewitt (as the byline states, random name that one) and was simply about Elaine, an MP, and her politics, and the current situation about the drug and the controversy it had created. Afterall, the 'Vigilante' were after Elaine because of her support for the drug, and her fight against this group trying to stop the drug's proliferation, and why Lucifer's choice to accept death was so poignant - he was ultimately saving humanity from themselves.

The forest scene was a dream sequence, as the end of the future scene and the title of that scene stated. And was pretty much Lucifer dreaming that he was this old man who met a child in the forest. The young man was simply the child transforming, and was meant to contribute to the surreal nature of the dream, in the same way as the door that changed sizes to fit the person who passed through it. Then Lilith enters the dream in the form of the old man's wife, Lily, and her presence here really is as a succubus, as she eventually has sex with Lucifer in his dream. The killing of the child, as is explained right towards the end, was necessary for the conception of her own child.

The old man was simply the devil, and he becomes aware of the fact as the dream eventually becomes a lucid one, and is then able to act as he wishes within the dream itself. You might wanna do some research on lucid dreams if youre not aware of what they are.

Just a question to everyone else who read my major work: did you have problems understanding, and did you get all of the above?

 

[Clifford]

God, looking back at it, that whole dream sequence thing was obvious as heck - 'sequence within a dream'. I think because of all the arty, nonsensical titles people place above each section, I just began to ignore them, or at least not take what they said at face value. Especially the Elaine thing too, I clearly just wasn't concerntrating properly in putting the Elaine, MP thing together.

If you'll look back over the other comments you've gotten, they understood it and loved it. I looked over my notes, and it seems I was agreeing with the Swift quoting bloke; the start and finish (when it's Lucifer in Heaven and the desert scene, btw, I really liked the gates) were compelling and I only lost myself in the middle when I was obviously being as daft as heck and not getting anything.

Do not be put out, diametric! I promise you, I can't understand half of the showcase pieces!

 

[Koshibou]

Lucifer was possessing Elaine - that happens right at the beginning of the scene, when he/she wakes up in the hospital room and that is maintained throughout. By Telegraph writer, I'm assuming you're referring to the article? That was written by Lisa Dewitt (as the byline states, random name that one) and was simply about Elaine, an MP, and her politics, and the current situation about the drug and the controversy it had created. Afterall, the 'Vigilante' were after Elaine because of her support for the drug, and her fight against this group trying to stop the drug's proliferation, and why Lucifer's choice to accept death was so poignant - he was ultimately saving humanity from themselves.

The forest scene was a dream sequence, as the end of the future scene and the title of that scene stated. And was pretty much Lucifer dreaming that he was this old man who met a child in the forest. The young man was simply the child transforming, and was meant to contribute to the surreal nature of the dream, in the same way as the door that changed sizes to fit the person who passed through it.

The old man was simply the devil, and he becomes aware of the fact as the dream eventually becomes a lucid one, and is then able to act as he wishes within the dream itself. You might wanna do some research on lucid dreams if youre not aware of what they are.

Just a question to everyone else who read my major work: did you have problems understanding, and did you get all of the above?

dream sequence took awhile to get. your story indeed has depth.

btw interesting depiction of lucifer, seeing as how as you sa he was "he was ultimately saving humanity from themselves."
lucifer as i percieve was a fallen angel of pride and was cast out of heaven due to his prouder nature towards humans.

my story also utilises lucifer more loosely and i attempted to incorporate him into humanity naming him louise siefer.

 

[diametric]

haha! i love it! louise siefer!

now i feel bad about not mentioning the dream sequence in the RS, just not enough words! hopefully, the title, the allusion to a dream at the end of the future sequence, and the italicised style of the passage is enough for the marker to get it.

 

[Clifford]

See diametric, it was just me! And you've got a substantial list of things there that denote a dream. Plus, I just wikipedied 'lucid dreams' and I'd never heard of them before. Just a common sense thing I'd never heard of before.

Rest easy!

 

[zeppelinqueen12]

To confirm, Clifford did, at one stage, take Northanger Abbey (that brilliant piece of satirical, total Austen having a lol at Gothic literature and societies absurdities) seriously. For face value.


He came around though




PS, Clifford, are you doing an Extension 1 creative, or anything else remotely productive, or do you want to read my other two stories?

 

[Clifford]

No, no, I have to do work, I'm doing nothing. I'll tell you what, you turn your mobile on, and I'll call you, because I have to talk to you.

 

[zeppelinqueen12]

It's on now, give me a buzz.



Did I say that right?

 

[qf_pilot]

Hey Guys,

I've read most major works on here, and I just wanted to say overall I think everyone has done great!

So much so, it's making mine look more and more shit with each one i read haha.

Any more critical responders???

 

[Pain]

Have any short films been posted yet? Or do I still have to scour youtube..