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Fav. Teacher sayings? (2 Viewers)

ezzy85

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etc. etc. etc. said:
Religion teacher "It was Kosher everything down at Bondi.... Kosher deli, Kosher supermarket, Kosher Chemist.... and there's a synagogue on every corner"

hehe....its funny coz its true....
 

champ_sammy_19

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Ok a math teacher I had in year 8 would stand on the front desk in the class room and boom out RIGHTO YEAR 8... LISTEN UP...LISTEN UP NOW!!!. It never worked we just did whatever.
My yr11 & 12's eng teacher favourite quotes were "Hi year 12 sorry I'm late" and if she got annoyed at the boys up the back it was "Steven, can you listen please mate" and the boys would laugh at him.
I dont think i every had teachers that said enything overly funny though :(
 

Pace_T

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our maths teacher in year 10 (old guy, pretty funny) used to have many funy sayings

he said "Maths is like cricket, you've gotta be in it, to win it"

"The best mathematicians are cheaters"

"its just like cricket!"

"you know one time, i had a student who used to play cricket...."

he used to say that one almost every day

as soon as he see one of us trying to stab each other with a pencil or throw each other's pencil cases into the fans or bags out the window (pretty high from the ground too lol!) then the teacher would give us a 30 minute lecture on how he had a student who kept on getting 30% etc in maths and then tried really hard at the end and got 100% in the HSC, and he usually would slip in cricket in there somewhere :eek:


"a calculator is like a cricket bat" * he then pulls out a cricket bat.
at one stage my mate grabbed the cricket bat and swung it at my head, then my other friend backed me up and tacked the fat cunt down, shit flyin everywhere and tables flipping in class while the principal was standing at the class room door. Teacher still going on about cricket LOL

dont get me started on the other maths teacher i had in yr 9
the old hag used to go on about golf
she'd bring in a golf stick and putt in front of the class
we would be like "are we learning geometry today miss???"
she always used to say "its just geometry!"

ahh u would have to be there to see how funny it really was :D:D
 

Zoltan

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My biology teacher tells some of the worst jokes I've ever heard...

We were looking at blood cells under the microscope and they're fucking hard to see. It was hurting my eyes trying to count the buggers. My teacher wears glasses and he did a lot of microscopy before he was a teacher, so I went, "you see all that counting cells under a microscope has made you go blind." And he says, "that's not what my mother told me."

*Aaaargh*
 

breaking

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BreaKing said:
a fellow classmate was getting in trouble off our year 9 science teacher. she said something in her defence, then, frustrated, she remarked "God!!!!"

the teacher then said, angrily, "no i'm not God, but thanks for the compliment!"
lmao .
 

boasboy

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english teacher when there is maths written on the board: "we must cleanse this room of evil and corruption before we begin *rubs out the maths*"

and he is always paying out maths and maths teachers and the superiority of english over maths.

and also... physics teacher making physics jokes.. very.. lame :D
 

Zoltan

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The worst are teachers who say lame-ass things like "respect your peers" and "you're interrupting other peoples' learning" and shit like that. And they're serious as well!
 

Atticus.

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my hist teacher once said

dont ever think anything is impossible. (after someone had made an incest joke)
my marriage is lucky to be stable after several incidents involving my cousin and my unborn child... i would appreciate if you didnt tell the rest of your friends about this

im not joking... this was actually said
 

KFunk

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"Life sucks and then you die." -Math teacher

"Nifty." - Physics teacher

"Yes and No." - English teacher (answer to any closed question you will ever ask :p)

"S . T . O . P" - yr 9/10 Geography

"Have you ever seen a mirco wave? No!? *wiggles pink* Well now you have!" - yr 9 Science
 

putri tini

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'Do you get my drift?' - mr music teacher1

'Oh shut up you lousy bunch of possums, otherwise I'll turn into a blomounge, now that just would be unpleasant' - Mr music teacher2

'It's like playing cricket' - mr english teacher

'Please stop swearing' - ms math teacher

'ahhh thats it...i like it, its nice, unique, different, mmm' ms art teacher
 

roadcone

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one of the boys was swinging on his chair and the male teacher yells out hey (name omitted) get here - on your knees!'
 

Danoz The Great

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AtticusFinch said:
please excuse my e ignorance. but what does lmafo! stand for? haha it was in your rep...
Laugh My Fucking Arse Off.
---

"Quick kiddies, to the Television! AAAH!!!" - 9/10 Geog teacher, absolute champ
"I am THE LIZARD QUEEN" - same teacher, it's a simpsons quote if you don't know

"Capiche?" - Science year 10

My english teacher (this year) was talking about the hare and the tortoise, he was saying tortoise like "Tort-oyse" because he's Scottish, so funny lol

"Shit! *gasps* Fuck!" - my year 4 teacher aster she had a shotput thrown at her (-supposedly- unintentional :p)

My year 9 Sport Science singing along to Kat Bush - it's funny because she sounds like a man, and she just could not hit the notes at all.

That's all I can think of.
 
Last edited:

Atticus.

how do i get out of this
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dani_danoz said:
Laugh My Fucking Arse Off.
---
oh haha yeh...
on a further note, this is also the same teacher who when i had to walk with him behind a hot hear 12 student when i was in yr 11 said "a wonderous thing the female body, especially young ones like her"
and
"thomas you lucky man, look at those two gifts of aphrodite that are sitting next to you, if only *sigh*

and "if i wasnt married or 55 i would still be sowing my seed at parties"

this guy was fucked up but so very funny... he meant everything he said
 

Danoz The Great

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Another one...

My year 1&3 teacher used to call girls the "girly whirly twirlys".
 

^CoSMic DoRiS^^

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oh, my teachers are so funny to listen to sumtimes... here's some of my faves:

1. Drama teacher: punctuates every second word with "right? okay?" eg - "now i need you in groups of 3, right? okay? so we can start, right?okay?" we counted once how many times she said it... she said "okay" 131 times in 15 minutes. lol

2. yr 10 Geo teacher: favourite phrase is - "you people today know nothing, you'd all be better off working in shops" says that at least 5 times a lesson. he didnt know the names of anybody in our class...it was "those bloody stupid boys down the back" "those bloody stupid girls down the side" and "you young people there"

3. yr 8 science teacher: constantly said "um" allllllll the time, eg - "now i , um, need you, um, to, um, collect the samples, um, and, um, observe, um, the similarities and, um, differences..." fk that was annoying, yet strangely hilarious. ah... memories...
 

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