helpp (1 Viewer)

[cutie19]

hey guys, i dont usually do this but im a little stuck atm.
i was goin out with this guy for a year and we were best friends wen we broke up which was about 2 months ago..and were sorta on the possibility of gettin bak together wen school was over (which is now)...anyway we ended up having a huge fight about a month ago and literally that same day my best friend and him became best friends and now like eachother. i am absolutely distraught, i am soo hurt by my best friend coz he should have been out of bounds to her, and i dont really no wat to do. i still have really strong feelings for my ex even tho he is the biggest dickhead and treated me like absolute shit in the last 2 months but as im sure alot of u no, u cant just switch ur feelings on and off.. i cant even look at my best friend anymore without thinkiung about him, and i just wana move on and get on with my life but she is being so unfair about it and keeps blaming me and saying she thought i was mature enough to handle it and i must grow up and get over it, and also thinks i have no right to be upset. so she doesnt understand how wrong she is and how hurt i am. but the thing is i dont really wana end our friendship becoz if i do il loose the rest of my friends coz itl make things so hard between us and then ppl r gonna have to choose coz i dont wana see her so it makes things really hard. besides that, i dont EVER wana see my ex again i dont want anything to do with him becoz of the way he has hurt me (really bad fight lol) and its really hard wen my "best friend" likes him and will most prob go out with him. i really dont no wat to do, i dont no how to stop feeling so hurt and betrayed and i just wana get over it but its so incredibly hard and i have absolutely no idea what to do about my best friend.
any suggestions?
thanks in advance for ur help

 

[xoxo]

wow thats a tough situation you in
well have u tried talking to your friend about how u feel? like really sat down with her and discussed it? if she is your best friend then she should be able to understand and see where you are coming from....if she is still stubborn then mayb she wasnt the friend you thought she was...

as for trying to forget about the guy, just try n get out there and have some fun or do some relaxing things with your friends. dont let urself sit there and think about him all the time - he isnt worth it especially if he hurt you

i think thats all at the moment
hope it all goes well
xoxo

 

[cutie19]

yeh i have..on 3 separate occassions....and she still doesnt get it. its just weird coz like everyone else seems to see that theres a prob except the 2 of them...but even if they dont agree they should still be at least sorry for hurting me? aaarrrgggggg:burn:

 

[Dr_Doom]

man that sux I know how it feels. I'm sure you'll get over it. Just find a rebound. You'll be right

 

[azzie]

One of my mates deliberatly broke me and my boyfriend up in year 11.
But all the better for it, I'm now dating guys (well only one, for the last month and a bit) who are 500 times better than he was, I'm so happy.

There are other guys out there, and better friends too. You just need a bit of time to see that, and when you're going through a better time than you are now, you'll appreciate how well things have turned out.

 

[withoutaface]

yeh i have..on 3 separate occassions....and she still doesnt get it. its just weird coz like everyone else seems to see that theres a prob except the 2 of them...but even if they dont agree they should still be at least sorry for hurting me? aaarrrgggggg:burn:

You broke up with him, he's pretty much fair game unless you established he was out of bounds beforehand.

 

[ur_inner_child]

You broke up with him, he's pretty much fair game unless you established he was out of bounds beforehand.

any relationship that holds up to a year i wouldnt personally find the ex's fair game.

My personal opinion anyway. I think back to any one year+ relationship (a whole two) and I'd probably go into absolute rage if my friend started going out with them.

But then again, solemn rule, I would've said don't sex your best friend's ex in the first place. Too messy.

 

[cutie19]

You broke up with him, he's pretty much fair game unless you established he was out of bounds beforehand.

i didnt breakup with him..it was mutual, and we were supposed to be getting back together now..we werent even really broken up it was just like on a break sorta thing til school was over...and then he decided he never wanted anythin to do with me again after we had a fight which was completely stupid and his fault....so it wasnt like it was my decision to have this happen? and im not annoyed with him i couldnt give a shit, he can date whoever he wants its not my problem...im outa his life so he can have whoever he wants to as it has nothing to do with me anymore...
and its not the sorta thing u "have to establish" - its common sense and the way things go. u dont date ur best friends ex. end of story. its disgusting and wrong.

 

[withoutaface]

i didnt breakup with him..it was mutual, and we were supposed to be getting back together now..we werent even really broken up it was just like on a break sorta thing til school was over...and then he decided he never wanted anythin to do with me again after we had a fight which was completely stupid and his fault....so it wasnt like it was my decision to have this happen? and im not annoyed with him i couldnt give a shit, he can date whoever he wants its not my problem...im outa his life so he can have whoever he wants to as it has nothing to do with me anymore...
and its not the sorta thing u "have to establish" - its common sense and the way things go. u dont date ur best friends ex. end of story. its disgusting and wrong.

If you have issues you obviously still feel for him, so it was stupid to go on a break. You fucked up, deal with it.

 

[cutie19]

If you have issues you obviously still feel for him, so it was stupid to go on a break. You fucked up, deal with it.

u dont no the reasons why we went on a break mate, so dont comment.

 

[withoutaface]

u dont no the reasons why we went on a break mate, so dont comment.

You ask for opinions on the situation and give us limited information upon which to form them. I have formed an opinion, and given it to you, then you've gone hostile on me for only having access to the information you gave me, when it's clearly infeasible for me to gain access to more. Ergo, you asked for comment, and I gave it.

 

[cutie19]

You ask for opinions on the situation and give us limited information upon which to form them. I have formed an opinion, and given it to you, then you've gone hostile on me for only having access to the information you gave me, when it's clearly infeasible for me to gain access to more. Ergo, you asked for comment, and I gave it.

ur comment had nothing to do with the situation and the info i gave was wat was importnat...it makes no diff why we broke up? so dont comment on things u dont no about, when they arent important anyway...i sed myself i still had feelings for him so u were just stating my point already but the rest of it really wasnt remotely close to wat i actually need help with....makes no difference why we broke up or who broke up with who, fact is im upset my best friend likes him...that has got nothing to do with the reason we broke up? or anything about hte break up....if ur trying to say that she has a right to date whoever then thats ur opinion but dont make it sound like im doing something wrong and that i have no right to be upset? im not fucked up becoz im upset my best friend likes my ex bf who i went out with for a year and still have feelings for? how else are u meant to feel?

 

[withoutaface]

I had a mate ask me if he could date my ex less than a month after I broke up with her.

I said yes because the breakup was mutual and because I'm a mature human being.

 

[ur_inner_child]

seriously, my best friend went out with one of my ex's two weeks after the break up. we had been going out for close to a year. I told her "could you go out with him a little later than now? I just need a bit of time" and she refused and told me I couldn't stop love or some shit.

So it meant two weeks after the breakup I had to deal with my best friend saying how awesome he was as a boyfriend.

Fair game or not, they don't give a shit about how you feel or spoke to you about it so back away from them and cut them from your life fast. You need better friends than that.

EDIT: That being said, sexing your friends ex depends from each case and I'm guessing youre one of the more unfortunate ones.

 

[cutie19]

I had a mate ask me if he could date my ex less than a month after I broke up with her.

I said yes because the breakup was mutual and because I'm a mature human being.

1. he asked..big difference then just doing something behind ur back
2. different situation when u had actualy broken up and we were still planning on getting back together
3. good for u im very happy u could handle it, but not everyone is like u as u can tell from the other ppl that replied to this whether thats a good or bad thing, either way well done

 

[dodgyfilokid]

woah!!! bestfriend just broke the golden rule of friendship...she broke the rule bad and she deserves to pay for it...don't get too concerned about your other mates and alliances..if they are your mates they will stick up for you and will be nonpartisan..your ex made the biggest mistake of asking out your bestfriend...he's just showin to you that he can get what he wants from the relationship he used to have with you..stop him dead right now..hes your ex from hell!!well thats wot i can see from wot u said

 

[Redgoddess]

i would be so unimpressed if my best friend did that, because if there's one thing i value in my mates it's loyalty - that means they should be there for me when i need them, and after a break up is one of those times. not only has she evidently not been there for you, not been understanding of your pain, she's exacerbated it. yr12 is over, you dont have to be nice to ppl just because they're in your group any more - let her have it. tell her how you feel about her betryaing you in no uncertain terms. and find a rebound boy

 

[blueeyesguy]

hey guys, i dont usually do this but im a little stuck atm.
i was goin out with this guy for a year and we were best friends wen we broke up which was about 2 months ago..and were sorta on the possibility of gettin bak together wen school was over (which is now)...anyway we ended up having a huge fight about a month ago and literally that same day my best friend and him became best friends and now like eachother. i am absolutely distraught, i am soo hurt by my best friend coz he should have been out of bounds to her, and i dont really no wat to do. i still have really strong feelings for my ex even tho he is the biggest dickhead and treated me like absolute shit in the last 2 months but as im sure alot of u no, u cant just switch ur feelings on and off.. i cant even look at my best friend anymore without thinkiung about him, and i just wana move on and get on with my life but she is being so unfair about it and keeps blaming me and saying she thought i was mature enough to handle it and i must grow up and get over it, and also thinks i have no right to be upset. so she doesnt understand how wrong she is and how hurt i am. but the thing is i dont really wana end our friendship becoz if i do il loose the rest of my friends coz itl make things so hard between us and then ppl r gonna have to choose coz i dont wana see her so it makes things really hard. besides that, i dont EVER wana see my ex again i dont want anything to do with him becoz of the way he has hurt me (really bad fight lol) and its really hard wen my "best friend" likes him and will most prob go out with him. i really dont no wat to do, i dont no how to stop feeling so hurt and betrayed and i just wana get over it but its so incredibly hard and i have absolutely no idea what to do about my best friend.
any suggestions?
thanks in advance for ur help

This is certainly one sticky situation lol interesting way to phrase it i know but it will take a while for feelings to disappear like you said "you cant just turn your emotions on and off".All i can say is give it time for your feelings for the "dickhead guy" to slowly fade away dont put pressure on yourself from my personal experiecnes one day it just feels like you dont like the person anymore and realise that you dont need them. As for your friend i know this is difficult but from the sounds of it this may be something you'll just have to accept (your ex and her going out). You dont have to agree with what they're foing but if you want to continue the friendship ill just something ull have to grin and bare. I think thats pretty mean of your friend cause id never consider one of my true friends ex's but having said that its a relationship thats out of your control. I hope my random jibbering has helped even if only slightly and good luck