pressure from parents (1 Viewer)

[wrong_turn]

who of you were pressured into doin subjects that you didn't want to do, and now in result hate your subjects?

and who of you are also chinese and are getting pressured into doin 4U maths because of your presents?

urgh...somtimes i wish i was an aussie....

 

[veanz]

i hear you lei! Even if they say 'do you what you want', it's still difficult to ignore their voices theyve somehow implanted in your head. You feel constrained to obligation and guilt..and 'we know what's best for you in the long run'..

im lucky enough to have loved 4u maths

 

[Currybabe29]

My parents have never pressured me into choosing sujects I don't like or don't want to do, but I have a few indian/paki friends, and boy are they pressured! My indian friend was forced to choose 3u maths, and science (phy and chem). And she hates maths. And she's failing it. And now she's being yelled at for failing it. *sigh*

 

[_muse_]

" remember.... to get dux u actually have to do WELL in your subjects, not fail them."

statement from parent to child

 

[capsicum]

who of you were pressured into doin subjects that you didn't want to do, and now in result hate your subjects?

and who of you are also chinese and are getting pressured into doin 4U maths because of your presents?

urgh...somtimes i wish i was an aussie....

I wasn't pressured into doing subjects, but I chose something thinking I'd enjoy it but it turned out the other way. LOL I wish I could pick up PD/H/PE but don't think I'm able to cuz the prelim stuff needs to be known for the HSC course.

If you don't want to do 4unit maths, then don't do it. It's you living your life, not your parents cuz it's not them who will be the one sitting the exam.

 

[Currybabe29]

It's you living your life, not your parents cuz it's not them who will be the one sitting the exam.

Well said!

 

[wrong_turn]

yeah i guess, but like veanz said, you can hear thier voices in the background. doubt then sets in...waht is they are right for the first time. whenever i've followed their instructions i stuff up. when i follow my procedure i mostly succeed. they think that studying everyday for 4 hours a day is decent. that's what they've been telling me since year 2 damn it?! i want a brak from their torture. you feel tired. yoou know the feeling?

 

[capsicum]

yeah, i know the feeling. the constant blabber from the elders gets annoying, and tiring. have a good think about why you're doing what you're doing now. is it for your own good? no, really, do you want to do the things? or is it because people say it's good? maybe it's to impress?

and i can totally understand the 4 hour study thing from grade 2. i'm pretty lucky i don't get that from my parents, but i see my young cousins going through it. and when i say young, they're YOUNG. feel sorry for them, because it's not what they want to do and it's what their father wants.

 

[capsicum]

Well said!

YAY! thanks!!

 

[wrong_turn]

well at least i stuck to what i wanted. they didn't pressure me into doin most of my subjects.like i'm not sure whether i wanted to do chemistry, or was it my parents who pressured me into it. but, any chinese person would know. elders think its direspectful if you ignore thier advice. but hey don't understand its a new generation. tradition was meant to be made flexible.

 

[JamiL]

nah my parents are the exact oppisit, they let me do wot i want and i wantd to do all 3 sciences n 4u they jus want me 2 do well.

 

[hyperbole]

This might sound strange, but I feel more pressure from my relatives to pick certain subjects or to achieve a certain UAI. They don't tell it to my face, but I know what they're thinking. There's always that competition in my family. That is, comparing what subjects I do, and the marks that I achieve with that of their own children. I hate that!
My parents however are a lot more easy, and the pressure has somewhat disappeared. I think the main reason for this, is that my sister is doing her HSC and my parents see and understand the stress she's going through. They only thing they want for us now is to be able to get into UNI, and they actually encourage us to not do any subjects that we don't like or feel as though we won't do well in. They have actually become quite supportive this year.

 

[capsicum]

well at least i stuck to what i wanted. they didn't pressure me into doin most of my subjects.like i'm not sure whether i wanted to do chemistry, or was it my parents who pressured me into it. but, any chinese person would know. elders think its direspectful if you ignore thier advice. but hey don't understand its a new generation. tradition was meant to be made flexible.

hey!! that's like me! tradition annoys me. well, some, not all. it's like, a new gen now and we're the kids of this new generation so we should alter some stuff.

you've tried speaking to them about it right? and i'm guessing that failed? you know, really, if you don't want to do it then you don't have to. i understand the disrespectful part (like totally!) and i know it's hard but if you don't want to do what they want you to do, then just don't. it's really that simple. only your thoughts make it complicated...

 

[wrong_turn]

LOL yes i think a lot. sometimes too much. yas, finallysomeone who understands my plight .

there is no competition from my relatives. my relatives have either done the hsc and have easy going parents or are all in Hong Kong. i think amonsgt all my relies, i'm one of the smartest...so theres no danger in being pressured from aunts and uncles. it's jus the incessant pressure form parents. well they compare, but compare me with kids of family friends...urgh...

 

[veanz]

This might sound strange, but I feel more pressure from my relatives to pick certain subjects or to achieve a certain UAI. They don't tell it to my face, but I know what they're thinking. There's always that competition in my family. That is, comparing what subjects I do, and the marks that I achieve with that of their own children. I hate that!

faudge yeah :s 'my friend's kids doing medicine/optometry/pharm/physio (its ALWAYS ONE OF THOSE) and she doesnt go out, shes always studying really hard...'

it feels like if we do poorly in our studies, it's a reflection on their parenting - which i guess is true in the sense that asian parents greatly value education and that whole american dream

 

[JamiL]

fuk americans... (no offence to americans), im not asian but leb.... my parents put preasure on me 2 do well... i got 93% in my trial HSC 4 maths and my dad was unhappi cos i didn get 100%... but my subjects they are not very strict... my sis did history buissness. n stuff like that and i do all the sciences, tell ur parents its stupid 2 force u 2 do subject that u dont like cos u wont do well. and i understand with that relo shit, its like if u go bad the parents are bad, but it so not like that. i think socialy i am the stupidest person, im just and idiot sumtimes butr out of all my cuzins my age im the smartest. jus cos u do well in school doesnt make u smart or dumb good or bad... it realy doesn reflect nething but how well u remember shit

 

[capsicum]

well they compare, but compare me with kids of family friends...urgh...

yeah, i get that too but i ignore it. i'm me, they're them. it's hard sometimes, but i just learnt to ignore cuz they are just words...
:uhhuh:

 

[Kulazzi]

well, my parents, being curry of course, kinda pressured my older brother and sister to do physics, chem and 3U maths and then they chose Software, Adv Eng. of course, etc. etc. My sister couldn't handle the 3U maths work so she dropped to mathematics for her HSC. But my parents told me to do whatever and I'm not doing any sciences or extension subjects. So I guess they kinda learnt their lesson

 

[astro]

I was pressured by my Dad to do modern and eco, the other subjects were my choice...
however, the pressure to do get a >90 UAI is more than big....my parents drum into me that if you do crap in the HSC then the rest of your life is crap and vice versa....

However, unlike most chinese parents, my folks didn't force me to do 3u maths or any of those science subjects because they knew how bad i was at them....

And then there's the comparing that my relatives, family friends and parents love to do. So annoying! And they always compare me to those top selective school kids....I feel so inferior

 

[Slidey]

I do what I want, and my parents trust me because they have faith I'll make the right decisions, which I have. It's a good mechanic going.