Don't worry about it so much, be who you are. Who they are does not need to reflect on you. I personally believe I am a rather smart person, though many people might read my actions and disagree.
Example: I did night before study for my HSC exams.
Why?: I really was not so concerned at that point with getting a high UAI, I could have, but I realised even if I don't get such a high UAI there are always other paths.
In the end I got a UAI of roughly 70, while some of my friends got high 90's (99.8 for one of them), I still managed to get into university.
We all have many paths ahead of us we could take, the question is where do you want to go? And better yet, why do you want to go there?
From my personal studies of philosophy and reflection I have come to find that all I really can find as my purpose in life is happiness.
And a famous quote from Bruce Almighty:
"Some of the happiest people in the world, go home smelling to high heaven at the end of the day."
For me I just want to be happy in the end.
I find my happiness involves several elements:
- I'm slightly Empathic?
I feel what others around me feel, I find happiness when others around me are happy and sorrow when others are sad. Therefore my answer to this is try to make sure everyone around me feels happy as well. (You'll never see an unjust flare on this forum from me)
- I want to find the person in this world who fills the empty place in my heart.
I want to find the right girl to spend the rest of my life with, who I can make happy as much as she can make me happy. And one day to have a family, but to support a family I will need money enough to feed and properly provide for my wife and children. Always remember not to let your love (emotional sense) die, keep it alive and interesting everyday, even if you can't afford expensive presents, a small surprise, something different to show you care can make the world of difference. For a family trip my father always needed to do something expensive, I would've been happy just to spend some time, or go camping (relatively cheap).
I guess some elements have sub elements, Happiness requires others to be happy, and to find the one who I can happily live with for the rest of our lives, requires a small amount of money, money often requires a job, or other ideas.
In the end the key is:
- Find out what it is you want in life, and why you want it.
- Find out what you need to achieve this goal.
- Consider the paths ahead of you and how they reflect your goals.
- Never lose sight of your goal by focusing upon one element too hard and losing focus of others. Yes, money is an element required for a family, but don't push it so hard you lose sight of your family and happiness goals so much that you've lost them all together. Goals can be addictive, and that's part of the nature of people. Keep balance in all things.
How does this relate to your friends?
Everyone follows paths, sometimes some friends may choose one path and we may chose another. The truth is about your goals and how you want/intend to get there. We make right decisions, we make wrong decisions. But follow the path that you feel is right for you.
In the end the paths are not so important on a day to day basis, though they often do define who we are (If you repeat something enough times, it becomes a part of you, it can become physically mapped in your brain). They are a means of getting to where we want and achieving our goals.
To me it seems your friends have different goals to you, or at least choose different paths to get to their goals. Don't think there is anything more or less right about the differences, it is our differences that define us and give us diversity.
For your friends, you could discuss with them, or find friends whose paths more suit your own, but it's not so much about your decision, it's more about understanding and justifying why you made the decision so you feel good about it and at least know you tried to make the best decision you could.
Please anyone reading this feel free to email reflections or thoughts on my advice to [ advice AT mattyware DOT com ]. Also mentioning which advice you are commenting on would be appreciated.
I hope some of this can help people here, please don't mind my less than excellent grammar and spelling. And remember the smallest thing in your life can make the biggest difference in another’s life, try to help and support others, instead of trying to make them feel bad and crushing their creativity.
Always helpful to a cry for help.
Matty
(UAI: 70ish, University Student with average grades, studying in Chinese in China, just trying to follow my paths)
