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Would you ever take back a cheater? (2 Viewers)

Take back a cheater?

  • Yes

    Votes: 38 24.7%
  • No

    Votes: 78 50.6%
  • Don't know

    Votes: 38 24.7%

  • Total voters
    154

Retrovertigo

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I wouldn't take a cheater back, to be honest. It would leave its mark on the relationship permanently. In the same way, I wouldn't expect my partner to take me back if I cheated.
 

Josie

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I believe you can't judge the situation until you're in it.

There's one person I'd happily accept back into my life no matter what he did. Although I'll probably never get the chance to be that special to him again.
 

flipsyde

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Tulipa said:
It can still heal from it though. I'm sick of arguing about it because there will always been people saying how horrible cheaters are and not ever being in a situation where they had to deal with it. Also because I don't feel like rehashing my personal life for BoS.

Look all I'm saying (and this is for Alley) is that if you love him enough and believe that he loves you enough then it can work out. If you think it's worth it, then maybe it is.
Somewhat agreed. It would still depend on certain things, but depending on the situation, you CAN work things out. People make mistakes. However if they lied to me about doing it and I found out theyd done it, thats a different story, if they came clean about it (and again depending on certain things which I don't feel like repeating again), then yeah ok...people are allowed 1 mistiake.

excpet if they sleep with them, because IMO Im waiting til its love and my bf also is, so if he slept with someone then it would mean certain things to me. I dunno there is no black or white here.

I used to have very different views about this until one of my exs actually did it to me (we broke up for other reasons) and its different. I swore Id never take a cheater back... its different.
 
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AlleyCat

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jumb said:
You're messed up.
Really? I just have never understood why there is sooo much emphasis on what is essentially a human jugsaw puzzle exercise...
 

jumb

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AlleyCat said:
Really? I just have never understood why there is sooo much emphasis on what is essentially a human jugsaw puzzle exercise...
What is the point to being in a relationship with you? There are no boundaries and nothing is sacred.
 

AlleyCat

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But sex isn't a relationship.

People are jealous creatures. If you take jealously out of the equation by addressing each person's desires and impulses, then you create the foundations of trust and friendship, which makes for a good relationship in my opinion.

I have never cheated on anyone. I have had open relationships, but the cards are always on the table. I think if I had spoken to my boyfriend about boundaries before now he would have found me very open and compromising, which is basically why I took him back.

I have different expectations on relationships than most other people my age. You should be able to accept differences of opinion on the topic of loyalty.
 

jumb

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You didn't answer my question. What's the difference between being in or out of a relationship with you? Does being in a relationship just mean you tell each other about all the people you sleep with?

Also, this isn't about your opinions. I just don't get why you make a thread about cheaters, then come to the conclusion that you didn't get cheated on cause the dude can sleep with whoever he wants. I mean, what does the guy have to do, short of hitting you, to make you break up with him?
 

AlleyCat

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Do I really have to tell you the difference between sex and a relationship?

What I am saying is that in MY situation, (which is vastly different from any other in ways that I don't really feel like going into) I feel ok about taking back someone who cheated on me. I still love him, he loves me, we've been over the whole situation and trust one another.

If it were with a person who I cared for any less, I may have broken up with them. As it is, I have taken him back, and hopefully we will be happy together in the future.

To be honest, the thing that hurt me more than the actual ACT was who he cheated with. But I consider myself a better person for being able to truly forgive him. He said he's sorry for hurting me and I believe him.
 

jumb

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AlleyCat said:
Do I really have to tell you the difference between sex and a relationship?
Yes, because you seem to think they are the same thing.
 

townie

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i'd have to say yes, but mainly because i suppose, it takes a lot for somebody to break my trust. i forgive and trust easily, and i only consider some1 to have broken ur trust if they do so maliciously
 

Evilo

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I tried to take back a cheater, but theres no point of a relationship if you cant trust them.
 

Evilo

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AlleyCat said:
..<snip>... I feel ok about taking back someone who cheated on me. I still love him, he loves me, we've been over the whole situation and trust one another..<snip>...
Can you trust someone who broke your trust?
 

flipsyde

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townie said:
i'd have to say yes, but mainly because i suppose, it takes a lot for somebody to break my trust. i forgive and trust easily, and i only consider some1 to have broken ur trust if they do so maliciously
I agree with you there, some people dont intentionally do it, they make a mistake. But some people do do (hehe I said do do) it as a malice act. If it were a mistake (with any subject not just cheating) almost always Ill give them another chance, but Im not quick to it, my trust needs to be earnt back. But I'll give them the chance to do that and I wont make it difficult for them.
 

ellen.louise

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beentherdunthat said:
People who cheat don't have self-control.
Maybe... and it's a really bad thing to do to your partner. But people fuck up. All the time. So i reckon i'd be able to forgive them if they told me. Yeah people fuck up. But if they are honest about it and very very sorry, I'd give them another chance.

Everyone is capable of doing stuff they never thought they would. Next time it could be you.
 

grk_styl

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AlleyCat said:
Do I really have to tell you the difference between sex and a relationship?

What I am saying is that in MY situation, (which is vastly different from any other in ways that I don't really feel like going into) I feel ok about taking back someone who cheated on me. I still love him, he loves me, we've been over the whole situation and trust one another.

If it were with a person who I cared for any less, I may have broken up with them. As it is, I have taken him back, and hopefully we will be happy together in the future.

To be honest, the thing that hurt me more than the actual ACT was who he cheated with. But I consider myself a better person for being able to truly forgive him. He said he's sorry for hurting me and I believe him.
I get that you love him, and that's essentially a big reason why you took him back. I also get that he apologised and you forgave. That's a good thing, it's a big step.

I'm just curious to know whether you trust him or not? Like, is it always going to be in the back of ur mind when he's out?

Just wondering...
 

Almira

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u should neva tak them bac cuz they hav no right 2 break ur trust
 

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