Is smacking a child ever acceptable? (4 Viewers)

[rororow]

for god sakes if children aren't smacked they just end up as common whores, roaming the streets and selling crack and it's gotten to that stage already and i really think they all deserve a good old fashioned hwipping!! Just to reinstate the orderly conduct that once was, and was so wonderful! I don't like children anymore. They're not cute. They're stupid. Thank you.

 

[ihatehsc123]

growing up in an asian family, being smacked, was nothing.
but think about what gets a message through better
"go to your room" or " ill fucking kill you and make another baby to replace you"
LOL.

dont want my kid to end up like this motherfucker
YouTube - mom smacker OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO

 

[U.S.A]

IFHKUJSFHSKJD IUYPIUWEYRJTGIYI Uwyh RTYwiueytuy wsdit\ pus\j ii y iusdytg iuyhd\ g]]\\\


uncode that you will understand how a feel.

 

[Kwayera]

Children are not as stupid as you think. They do have the capacity to feel empathy and compassion. Why wouldn't they, if they have the capacity to feel shame, fear and sadness (which are ultimately the emotions that smacking is tapping into to make them "behave")?

Empathy and compassion != ability to reason. I don't think parents who smack their children are trying to shame them/make them sad/make them afraid. If they were, THAT is abuse.

 

[dieburndie]

Empathy and compassion != ability to reason. I don't think parents who smack their children are trying to shame them/make them sad/make them afraid. If they were, THAT is abuse.

What exactly are they trying to do then?

 

[Kwayera]

What exactly are they trying to do then?

Appeal to the very simplistic ideas of cause and effect. Much the same as other animals do to their children, really..?

 

[chelsea girl]

Empathy and compassion != ability to reason. I don't think parents who smack their children are trying to shame them/make them sad/make them afraid. If they were, THAT is abuse.

I don't dispute that the parents' intentions come from a place of love and caring; however, physical punishment will inevitably cause feelings of shame in a child. They might not mean to, but they are most certainly using shaming tactics to make their child behave.

 

[chelsea girl]

Appeal to the very simplistic ideas of cause and effect. Much the same as other animals do to their children, really..?

And humans have far more sophisticated methods of communication than most animals, so one would hope we'd be able to move past primitive punishment techniques.

 

[Kwayera]

And humans have far more sophisticated methods of communication than most animals, so one would hope we'd be able to move past primitive punishment techniques.

Not when kids are young. And primitiveness doesn't necessarily mean bad, given humans are and remain very "primitive" (i.e. instinctual and driven by our evolutionary heritage) creatures.

 

[Kwayera]

I don't dispute that the parents' intentions come from a place of love and caring; however, physical punishment will inevitably cause feelings of shame in a child. They might not mean to, but they are most certainly using shaming tactics to make their child behave.

And putting a child in the naughty corner doesn't involve the same?

 

[chelsea girl]

Given that it is the default position to not reason with young children, shouldn't the idea that perhaps they can be taught important lessons through methods other than smacking be, at the very least, tested?

It makes me quite cross to see people in their teens and early 20's who have not ever raised a child saying "oh, children are like this, you cannot reason with them, they just need a smack."

To me that is indicative of an ingrained idea we have in society about the nature of children, their level of comprehension and how to discipline them. It's thoroughly depressing, really.

 

[chelsea girl]

And putting a child in the naughty corner doesn't involve the same?

Did I say that I found that to be a useful form of punishment, either?

 

[U.S.A]

lets do what chelsea says, ie talk to a 2 year old in goo goo gaa gaa language. ffs, wtf is wrong with some people.

 

[dieburndie]

Appeal to the very simplistic ideas of cause and effect. Much the same as other animals do to their children, really..?

You're going to need to be more specific.

What about physical punishment is doing this, that doesn't "shame them/make them sad/make them afraid"?

 

[57o1i]

Also, would anyone like to please address my point re: the cane having been an accepted form of discipline historically, but it being widely accepted now that it is a punishment more harmful than helpful?

Isn't it a sign of a civilised society to become less and less dependent on physical punishment and more reliant on talking, teaching and explaining to get points across?

I'll have a go at that, I guess.

AFAIK there are also some laws in place regarding teachers hugging kids at school. Does that mean that society thinks that a hug is detrimental to a kid's development? No. It means that society thinks that teachers shouldn't be touching kids.

Same thing with the cane. Why wasn't spanking in the home banned at the same time? Because the laws aren't necessarily about whether physical discipline is a bad thing, they're about who gets to mete out that discipline.

Another explanation might be that children of school age are old enough to use deductive logic and be reasoned with and therefore clearly too old for smacking/caning, whether it takes place in the home or at school.

Also there are significant differences between a smack and a caning. Most notably that one involves hitting a kid with a wooden stick and the other one does not. The use of an implement like a cane raises connotations of violence which in my opinion don't have to exist with smacking -- it turns the process into ritualised violence rather than a quick "happens once and then it's over" event.

I have to say that I don't know you or your experiences but for me smacking was never associated with violence. It was strictly a consequence of my own actions - which I was clearly warned about beforehand - and I was never smacked more than once at a time. It also never occurred after I was old enough to be reasoned with and disciplined through solely verbal/non-physical means.

The issue is clearly very close to the heart of many people on here because of past experiences of violence or abuse and I can respect that, but I also want to say that there are many, many parents out there who do not smack their kids with the intention to cause pain or suffering of any description and there are also many, many kids - myself included - who see it as an ultimately positive part of their developmental process.

 

[dieburndie]

lets do what chelsea says, ie talk to a 2 year old in goo goo gaa gaa language. ffs, wtf is wrong with some people.

When so many of the opposing arguments are of this mould, it's hard not to feel a sense of reassurance that your view is the correct one.

 

[Kwayera]

Given that it is the default position to not reason with young children, shouldn't the idea that perhaps they can be taught important lessons through methods other than smacking be, at the very least, tested?

It's not a default position. Are you saying young children ARE capable of higher reasoning? And that is also why smacking, for me, would be a last resort - escalated response to continued behaviour, particularly unsafe ones.

It makes me quite cross to see people in their teens and early 20's who have not ever raised a child saying "oh, children are like this, you cannot reason with them, they just need a smack."

It makes me cross when people ascribe attributes to children that they haven't physically developed yet.

To me that is indicative of an ingrained idea we have in society about the nature of children, their level of comprehension and how to discipline them. It's thoroughly depressing, really.

I would say something about that being the socialist in you, but I won't

 

[dieburndie]

If the justification for physically punishing children is a lack of reasoning ability, should severely retarded people also be reprimanded in the same way?

What about demented old people?

 

[chelsea girl]

lets do what chelsea says, ie talk to a 2 year old in goo goo gaa gaa language. ffs, wtf is wrong with some people.

Children are extraordinarily responsive to facial expressions.

You can communicate a hell of a lot through your face even if they cannot fully comprehend language.

I would hazard a guess that 99% of the time a smack is administered with an expression of anger. The majority of what a child does "wrong" is a result of curiosity and an innate desire to learn, explore and test boundaries. How is it at all beneficial to respond to these natural instincts by presenting a mask of anger combined with physical pain? Don't you think it is more useful for a child's development to understand the reason why mummy or daddy thinks this is not a good thing (also, remember, there is no universal value system and, ultimately, parents are enforcing their own values onto their children without explanation.)

 

[Kwayera]

Did I say that I found that to be a useful form of punishment, either?

What would your useful form of punishment be, then, if you even see discipline as a necessary thing?