I'm sorry
if you genuinely actually want someone to vent and rant to without being judged I'm happy to listen - sorry all this shit happened to you
regardless just chill with the 'i hate everyone on bos' vibes <3
tbf. I'm leaving out their side of the story. I've done horrible stuff as well. In year 7 and 8 I said incredibly horrid stuff to girls which led me down this spiral. I even apologised to a few. They apologised for any actions against me. In year 7, 8 and 9 my social skills were so bad I couldn't tell jokes from insults. I hated being touched and talked to. In fact I still do hate that.
Other students contineusly touched and talked to me. Now I realize they were probably trying to make friends, but back then I didn't see it this way. I accidentally let it slip that I like this girl. I was hoping she woudl leave me alone because 12 year olds couldn't date. I honestly think she might have liked me because she took my student Id to get my name. She kept on trying to say hi to me. She even hugged me a few times. The guys in teh school mocked me so to get rid of my own insecurities I mocked her. That was incredibly wrong of me. I think I might have caused mental health problems for her. Blame lies 70 percent me 30 percent her. IF she left me alone we'd all be alot happier. I apologised to her in year 10 when we shared the same class. She left in year 11.
Same thing happened in year 9. Same results except everyone in the class kept on annoying the fuck out of me. And by everyone I MEAN EVERYONE. Except for this nice bloke who I still talk to. This girl who was pretty hot might have had a crush on me. I gave her my charger on teh first day as a show of goodwill and holy fuck. She litterally stalked me. SHe followed me to whatever table I sat on. Admitely some of her friends followed her. She kept on saying hi to me and kept on asking me to talk to her. I was uncomfortable because everyone on hte class was mercilessly mocking us for having a crush on each other. She also had a bad reputation in the class, because she was new. Young me didn't understand how little I should've cared. I tollerated her for most they year, then I mericlly mocked her after she kept on annoying me for the 100th time, inf ront of her friends. She called the principal who called my parents. SHe retunred to annoying me later.
I never called the principal on the other students because they didn't do anything wrong. All they did was talk to me. I can't stop other studetns from talking to me. IT really bothered me and still does. I hate other people talking to me. I enjoy being a loner.
In year 9/10 this racist guy targeted me. Only Egyptian/arab guy in the school. Stole my phone. The entire graded loved him. He was very popular, and friends with most of the student leadership. All the popular guys in the school mocked me. My class was a lot nicer to me. They didn't harrass me.
year 11/12. I've forgiven my cohort. They haven't forgiven me. Gilrs still glare(which I don't care about). Some gilrs still try to talk to me, but after my awful incidents with white gilrs from yaers 7-9 don't think i can ever befriend them. Guys act nice to me in class, and try to sabotage the few friendships I have left. Just becausee I've forgiven then doesn't mean I've forgotten. My cohort stopped speaking to me almost completely. I refuse to EVER interact with my cohort more than what's required. Most of my cohort respects me and keeps their distance from which I respect. I don't want to be friends with them. My empathy for all teenagers is gone. I stay away from them at all costs.
I don't have any real friends. I don't want any real friends. A few of my acquetnces tried to be my friend, but deep down, idgaf about them.
Quite frankly I'm done with Australia. I don't want to interact with Australians ever again. In university I don't want any friends. I don't want to talk to people. I'm fucking done with this bullshit. In year 12 I stopped sitting near my cohort and I eat lunch by myself and I'm so much more happy. I'm gonna try to achieve high grades in uni, actually try unlike high school, and try to get a job at google and move to San Fransisco and pretend Australia was a bad dream.
Wollongong guy. Are my acts more evil than the years of harrrasment I've suffered?
I'll shut up about the horny. But I'm still gonna believe what I'm gonna believe.