+1 mate.I read ALL of it, i wouldn't had wrote if it was a good post if i didn't read the WHOLE thing. Even your other posts. I just really believe (in my honest opinion and i think this is a good and inspirational post) it was incredibly irresponsible and you should not in any way provide people some kind of enthusiasm to copy such a thing. To gain an ATAR of 90 and not feel good enough while at one point seems admirable considering the goal, to achieve a number on a pointless stage designed to discriminate people and not teach you any real skills, to not feel good enough with a 90 is just highly un-healthy. You should re-evaluate the events and aim not to do such a thing again. I read this out irl "Osmaelias, who ever you are, you are GOOD ENOUGH: a really smart person, you got an ATAR/UAI of 90 in your real attempt , despite not being in Australia before Year 11, you managed to place in the top 10% of Students in New South Wales (the largest state-population in Australia with over fifty thousand candidates beating 90% of candidates). You must be a very impressive and exceptional human being. I am sure this means you will do great in what your aspirations are in life." i think that's all you needed to hear before you waisted that year also keep in mind that you could have had the same result in another year and gotten 100UAI because of the way these things are calculated. 96 ATAR does not necessarily mean you did better than when you attempted it the first time.
I was also getting at the lack of textual integrity of your argument against tutors and tutoring, "because they haven't helped", since you yourself has obviously benefited with such a financial advantage. Your argument that kids can do really well by themselves is really inspirational and a hard thing to teach anyone. But still not everyone would need to go through such un-healthy lengths to achieve a great result nor someone who really cannot perform should debauch their lifestyle if they really cannot. Because by process of induction comparing Terrence Tao and Ramanujan with their their hardworking and privileged competition who they can naturally out perform at younger ages or little resources, proves that something else is being played at hand. This is a finality that the HSC "stage" as i like to think of it sought to cater for and this is why i think to value the ATAR or UAI is such a pointless competition, it is just a number that justifies discriminating between students enrolling in to University because it would be more unfair if it were on a first-come first-serve basis, financial basis or the politically incorrect "IQ-testing" and interviewing every single candidate would really achieve the same thing but is physically impossible. I don't think the Board of Studies educates students enough on how these things are actually calculated, because if you really understood it, it would illuminate that the results are highly "Abstract" and are hence pointless. Please do not interpret this as me discounting your intrinsic motivations, but your lack of mentioning what you wanted to get into and what you wanted to do in the future with that ranking says something to me, isn't that more important? Steve Jobs and Bill Gates achieved their goals for technology and fostered businesses that were at least at one point considered the best or richest in the world without any degree at all. There must be something more to some one's focus on their admission ranking than the actual number it self; Their Dream.
The sole role of the HSC is to get people into uni so they can either start in their desired course or transfer into it if they deserve it. I do really wonder what the OP has to hide but not revealing what they got into or are studying at university. To get so hung up about an abstract number to the point of wasting a year of ones life is incredible weird. Ill add that Im one of the more competitive people you'll ever meet but did I cry when I didnt get 99.95 and try repeat? No because my ATAR was fine to get into the course I finally decided on (and before i decided on that course my atar wasnt high enough to get into what i wanted then but i wouldnt have felt any different). The biggest flaw in the whole system is the loophole that allows people to get so obsessed with it, to their great detriment.