Best+Worst of Teacher Quotes and Habits (3 Viewers)

[xbellax]

In Science Class...

Student: "Sir, There seems to be some white stuff on the side of your lip"
Teacher: "I'll put white stuff all over you in a minute if you don't get on with your work"

Class explodes in laughter.....

ROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

 

[Bourne05]

Principal: When we all do well, we all do well.

 

[sxtacy]

geo teacher : I was out once, walking my pet dingo then i saw a rare bird

another one involves a really tall friend of mine (student 2)

english teacher: ok get started on ur practice essay

student 1: sir my head hurts, i was up all nite catching up

english teacher: ohh ok well then just rest

student 2: oh sir my head hurts too

english teacher: what.. did u try to walk under the harbour bridge

 

[Matthew3112]

Student: "I found Lord of the Flies a lot more sexual than Dracula"
Teacher: "That says more about you than the book"

 

[ajdlinux]

Today I found out that there's now an official school award for the best teacher quote of the year, as selected by year 12

 

[bonamy]

My biology teacher has said the best quotes...
- we had to do an assessment on thrush and she goes around the classroom saying 'i want all your thrush'
- when people were using their phones in class she said 'when i see people looking at their crotch i know they are doing something naughty'

 

[Dis Amrahs]

History Teacher 'Shuttup Dickhead'
History Teacher 'Have your parents disowned you yet?'
History Teacher 'Yes, I'm using patches... Thats why i'm down to 3 packs a day'
History Teacher 'No you wanker, i don't drink'

That man is amazing. He has taught me more than anybody else. He drives a deep metal blue sports car and has enough class to choke a horse.

 

[Timothy.Siu]

lol bio teacher,
Here's a way you can tell the difference between meiosis and meitosis, *kicks the chair*. You see, mi-TOE-sis is to do with body cells and mei-O-sis is sex cells.

 

[keenith]

student 1 : *goes in a cupboard*
teacher : hears noises from the cupboard that the student is making and she cautiously opens the door and the student goes 'BOO'
student and teacher laughs

 

[keenith]

same student as before goes into the same cupboard
i take his seat in the classroom
the teacher didnt notice that i took his place and took her a while to figure it out


note im asian and the other guy is italian so i kinda stick out

 

[keenith]

student : do we live on the crust or the mantle (blonde moment)
teacher : yes we live on the mantle
student : oh so the aliens live on the crust then
class groans

 

[keenith]

one day the wholes class was mucking up like throwing stuff around, loud talking, being told off by the next doors teacher

teacher : imagine the bottom class if this is the top class

 

[bendertherobot]

THeres a kiwi agriculture teacher at the school who does the haka almost every lesson cos his classes are so boring.

 

[joosebox]

"Guys! You know I'm supposed to treat you like mushrooms - feed you shit and keep you in the dark."

- My bio teacher, after trying his hardest to explain why he thinks our latest assessment is complete bullshit whilst remaining as professional as possible.

 

[Melisoverschool]

one of the old cooking teachers after seeing two people in our year kiss: "There's a time and place for everything. Sex is not a social sport" Everyone was hysterical the moment she walked off.

Student: "Hey miss did you see me walking the other day"
Teacher: "Yeah i thought it was you so i turned around and walked the other way"
He was pretty offended but everyone else found it funny.

 

[cowgirl09]

walk into class, and our pd teacher request that all blonde's sit on one side of the room, when we asked why, he saaid to was much easier to have all the blonde's in one place

 

[cowgirl09]

my english teacher has an annoying habit of screaming in the middle of movies, or pratically walks out of the class when she gets bored, (she hates technology) when we are listening to our ipods, she screams.... PUT THOSE HAND HELD WILIS AWAY

 

[mecramarathon]

Ryan: Hey Miss P ya know Barry Hall?<O</O

Miss P: [jumps up] Barry Hall!? He's a teacher!<O</O
<O

Ryan: He's a Sydney Swan play

<O
[Miss P then did this weird fat girl chuckle that sounded like chubby kittens being squashed - serious! sounds like that chubby brown hair female judge in so you think you can dance - american version]
<O

Miss P: I know, he's my favourite<O</O
<O

[ryan does a horny cat whistle]<O</O
<O

[Miss P blushes anime style and a streak of red glows out of her cheeks]<O</O
<O

[her husband rushes in]<O</O
<O</O

Mr P: [crying] YOU HATE ME BITCH!!! AND CAUSE OF YOU THE CANTEEN RAN OUT OF VEGETABLE PASTIES!!!

[rushes out]

[bell rings]

Miss P: [yelling to class] GOD BLESS YA SOULS!

 

[rokkuguhyo]

Once, my art teacher was busted while in the act of scratching his arse at the back of the classroom, and afterwards, he touched some guy's pencil with the hand he used to scratch while the guy was using it- for no reason.

Yeah, he was pretty weird.

My HSIE teacher used to have this habit of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. For example, while setting up a video for the class to watch:

"Sit back, relax and enjoy, kids!" The video was about the extent of aboriginal poverty in the NT.

 

[Crosswinds]

Geo teacher: "Australia is the biggest planet in the universe..."